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BLINDATE girls that before but never

This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real

persons is unintentional and strictly coincidental. If you

are below the age of 18, or 21 depending on your locality,

stop reading right now. If your government prohibits erotic

literature, stop reading now and delete this. If you choose

to continue, that is your decision -- and your

responsibility -- not mine.

This is intended solely for adults, and any other

rebroadcast, retransmission, and account of this game is

strictly prohibited by the National Hockey League. Wait

--The NHL doesn't care --I care. Any unauthorized

redistribution of this is in violation of copyright. I

authorize this to be archived in its entirety -- which must

include this disclaimer and the author credit -- on

non-profit web sites. I expressly prohibit posting of this

work on pay-sites, sites with advertising, and any type of

site where a fee is charged. Any other distribution without

the author's permission is strictly prohibited.

"Blind Date" Copyright 1999 by John3365A@aol.com.

All rights reserved.

---------------------------

I'd love to know what you think. Positive or negative, I'll

try to respond to everyone (except obnoxious flames).

Thanks. My e-mail address is John3365A@aol.com.

----------------------

Author's note: This is a little unconventional. Whenever

you see the < > brackets, that shows the thoughts of the

character. This is meant more as a humorous story than

anything else. Let me know what you think.

----------------------

Blind Date

by John A

"Hello."

"Hi, Michelle. This is Bob...Cindy's cousin." Bob said skittishly

into the phone.

<Uh-oh, he called> "Hi Bob, how are you? It seems I already know

you really well. Cindy's always talking about you at work."

Michelle was chewing her nails as she spoke, nervous about the

prospect of dating, essentially, a perfect stranger.

<Bob: She sounds nice, so far. What's wrong with her that she

doesn't date?>

<Michelle: This is crazy, I should just tell him that I'm not

interested. I feel so ridiculous going on a blind date. I'm not

ready to date yet.>

"Yeah. Cindy brings you up every time I see her too." He was

unsure of what to say.

<Bob: Why go through this? Cin said she was a really sweet girl.

I know what that means. But if I don't ask her out, seven kinds

of shit will hit the fan the next time I see Cindy....Well, here

goes nothing. It's just one date anyway.>

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner Saturday

night?" Despite the date being essentially prearranged, Bob's

mouth dried as he awaited a response.

<Michelle: I'm going to kill her for getting me into this. I

haven't been on a blind date in years....Just because I haven't

gone out in a couple of months, she becomes the merry

matchmaker.>

"Sure, that sounds nice. Where do you want to go?" < Well, I

guess it's too late to turn back now.>

"Do you like Italian food?" Bob asked.

"It's my favorite."

"Great. Do you want to meet at Dominic's at seven...or would you

rather I pick you up?" Bob queried. <Please say we can meet. If

this date is lousy, I don't want to have to take you home.>

"Why don't we meet there, that'll be easier." Michelle said.

<Like I want you to have an excuse to come back to my place after

the date.>

Bob breathed a sigh of relief. "Ok. I'll be at the bar waiting.

I'll have a navy blue sportcoat and a red tie on....I'll be the

one they're arresting for not wearing any pants." <Please get the

joke....The last thing I want to do is explain the joke.>

Michelle laughed heartily. "Well, I have no idea what I'll be

wearing, but I'll see you at seven." she chuckled. <Ok, he's

funny, anyway>

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

<Bob: Well, at least she has a sense of humor, this might not be

so bad after all....Why am I kidding myself? This is a fucking

blind date, how good can it be?>

-------

Thursday night, Bob was returning his cousin Cindy's husband's

circular saw when the subject of his date with Michelle came up.

"Cindy, be honest. What does Michelle look like?" Bob furrowed

his brow, worried about the answer.

"I told you, she's great. She's really sweet." Cindy was enjoying

toying with her cousin. <He's going to squirm on his. He can't

wait to find out how pretty she is....Time to have a little fun.>

"That's not what I want to know. What does she look like?"

"You mean, *since* the electrolysis?" Cindy teased.

"Cin, stop it. You're scaring me." Bob chuckled. <She can't be

that bad, if Cindy's joking about her like this...can she?>

"Relax, I'm kidding. She doesn't need electrolysis. If the room

is dark enough, her beard is hardly noticeable...You are planning

to take her to a dark restaurant, aren't you?"

"Cynthia," his voice rose in agitation, "if you don't want to

be tickled unmercifully, you better start telling the truth."

Bob pounced from his seat and walked toward his cousin, and

perhaps best friend, in a mock menacingly fashion. <She wants

to play, now it's my turn.>

"Okay, okay!" she shrieked. "Don't you dare tickle me. Bob! Stop

it. Stop it! I'm kidding about Michelle." Bob sat down and Cindy

smiled, satisfied with herself. "Except for that annoying

colostomy bag of hers that she has to empty every few hours." Her

eyes sparkled as she saw the exasperated look on Bob's face.

<It's so easy to get under his skin.>

"Cindy!"

She laughed at his uncomfortable squirming then decided to ease

his torment. "She's pretty, Bob. And before you ask, yes, she has

a nice body." <I wish *I* had her body....Well, let's see what

she looks like after a couple of kids. Stop it. Stop being

snippy....Anyway, I look pretty good for a 34 year old woman with

three kids.>

"Then why is she going out on a blind date?" Bob asked, more to

aggravate his cousin than anything else.

"Why are you?" She countered. "A couple of months ago she ended a

long term relationship and I've finally convinced her she should

date again."

"Yeah, but I don't need a blind date. I'm just doing this because

of you." He smiled, confident that he got in the last word.

"God, you men..." Cindy sighed in resignation.

"I'm not as shallow as you think I am, Cin." Bob protested.

"I hope not. You couldn't be as shallow as I think you are.

Nobody could be." Cindy teased and stuck out her tongue.

-------

"Shit!" Michelle spat, reading the instructions on the box of

Monistat.

<Michelle: Of all of the fucking days to get a yeast infection.

I don't have a date for two months, and nothing. I have a blind

date tonight and I have to deal with this too....It's not like

I'm going to sleep with him or anything, I just don't need the

aggravation of this fucking yeast infection.>

Michelle continued getting dressed, trying to ignore the

uncomfortable itching within her. She deliberated over what she

was going to wear, finally settling on a knee length black dress.

She felt it was nice enough for a date at someplace as elegant as

Dominic's, but conservative enough as not to suggest anything to

her date.

<Michelle: And why the hell, come to think of it, can't this guy

get a date? Cindy says he dates often, but he's her cousin for

God's sake, she'd say anything to get him a date, wouldn't she?

...Am I just being paranoid about this whole thing?>

Satisfied with her selection for the evening, she jumped in the

shower and tried to convince herself that she would have a good

time and tried to avoid coming up with reasons why her date would

be miserable.

After dressing and applying a light amount of makeup, she drove

across town and pulled into the parking lot for Dominic's a few

minutes after seven. She stopped just before she opened the door,

straightened her dress, and took a deep breath.

<Michelle: Well, here goes nothing.>

She walked in and looked over at the bar, trying to figure out

who her date was. There were about twenty men sitting down, and

from her cursory glance her first reaction was to flee, flee

while she had a chance.

<Michelle: Oh, this is a mistake. 'He's perfect for you'. Why

did I ever let Cindy talk me into this blind date?...Blue jacket,

red tie, blue jacket, re...there he is. That has to be him. Oh,

he's cute. This might not be so bad after all.>

Michelle approached him nervously. "Bob...Hi, I'm Michelle." She

gave him a friendly smile.

<Bob: Hey, she's pretty, and great tits. Face up! Face up! Stop

staring at her chest.>

"Hi, nice to meet you." He stood and gave her a light peck on the

cheek. "Would you like a drink? Our table should be ready in a

couple of minutes." <Was the kiss too much? What the hell, she

didn't seem to be bothered by it.>

"I'd love a Rum and Coke....I'm glad to see you decided on

pants." She sat next to him and smiled, hoping that her attempt

at humor wasn't lost on him.

Bob laughed, remembering his joke from their phone conversation.

"Well, when I called for reservations, I asked them about their

pants policy, and they suggested that I wear them...Plus all of

my skirts are at the cleaners." <At least we'll be able to joke

with each other tonight....Damn, she's cute.>

Michelle giggled. "Well, I think you made a good choice." <He can

dress well, and has a great smile....Maybe this won't be that

bad.>

"Not as good as you," he complimented her. "Cindy didn't tell me

you were so pretty." <Stop staring at her tits, if she notices

she's going to get pissed.>

Michelle blushed as they made some small talk at the bar before

being told that their table was ready.

<Michelle: What the hell should I order. Should I order a 'first

date meal', something small and simple like a dinner salad? But

I'm hungry, I'm not a rabbit....What do I really care what he

thinks of me. If he's so shallow that he's going to judge me

based upon what I order, then I don't want to see him again

anyway....That settles it, linguine with white clam
sauce....Maybe I shouldn't, that always gives me gas. Screw it,

this is probably the last time I see him anyway....Just to be on

the safe side, I'll pop one of those antacids that take an hour

to kick in.>

<Bob: What am I going to order? I better not order anything with

a red sauce, I'm such a slob, I'd probably splatter it all over

my shirt....Fettucini Alfredo is out, all those cream sauces give

me the farts. Yeah, that's the way to get a woman into bed, loud

bodily noises....Maybe I'll get some fish -- salmon, yeah, that

sounds good. That's safe, anyway. No farts, no burps, no spills.

The perfect date food.>

Bob ordered the broiled salmon and Michelle selected the linguine

with white clam sauce. They each ordered a shrimp cocktail as an

appetizer and chatted happily about everything and nothing;

becoming very comfortable with each other. They flirted

shamelessly throughout dinner, extending eye contact between the

two of them and laughing at everything the other was saying.

"Can I confess something Michelle? When Cindy suggested this, I

thought it was a lousy idea, but I'm really having a great time

with you tonight." <Don't take this the wrong way.>

Michelle grinned as she tilted her head and brushed some wisps of

hair from her eyes. "I'm having a nice time too, Bob." < Nice?

Nice? The table cloth is 'nice', the tie he's wearing is

'nice'....I need a thesaurus with me. I should be able to come up

with something better than NICE.>

<Bob: should I reach across the table and hold her hand? I want

to. It's a nice hand. It doesn't look as if it'll bite....But

maybe she will, that would be nice....What the hell, nothing

ventured...>

After the plates had been removed by the waiter and they were

drinking coffee, Bob reached across the table and gently took

Michelle's hand in his own. She started at the contact but

relaxed immediately and her hazel eyes sparkled brightly as she

smiled deeply at him.

"You have amazingly pretty eyes, Michelle." Bob said. <What the

hell am I thinking? She's going to think it's a line....It *is* a

line, I just don't want her to think it is....And her eyes are

gorgeous, too. Maybe not gorgeous, but the way they light up when

she smiles certainly is.>

<Michelle: Oh, God what a line. Still, that is a sweet thing to

say....I can't believe I'm getting aroused, we're just holding

hands....I wonder what he's like in bed? This is nuts, it's a

first date. Do I want him to think I'm a slut? Oh, Jeez, I

actually *do* care what he thinks of me.>

Michelle blushed, "Thank you, that's so sweet....What do you want

to do after dinner? Maybe go somewhere for a drink?" She looked

at him hopefully. The sparkling of her eyes started to spark the

flame of his desire.

"That sounds like a great idea. Have you ever been to The

Windmill? They have a guitar player on Saturday nights." Bob

offered.

"Sure, that's a nice place, sounds good." <This is going very

nicely....Am I going to end up sleeping with him tonight? I can't

believe I'm considering this....But I'm a little .. wet .. just

sitting here with him....Two months without sex is making me a

very horny girl.>

"But what about the two cars?" he asked. "I think it's silly

taking both of them."

"Well, I don't live too far away. You can follow me to my place

and I can leave my car there, ok?"

<Bob: Yes! We have to go back to her place at the end of the

night....I have to thank Cindy....Michelle's a babe. Could that

smile be any prettier? And, on top of all that, I think I really

like her too.>

<Michelle: What am I going to do at the end of the night? I

really like this guy, but I don't want to seem easy...well, *too*

easy, anyway.>

"Great, let's go." Bob paid the check and the two of them walked

hand in hand out of the restaurant.

After Bob followed Michelle to her apartment complex, she got

into his car and the two of them proceeded to The Windmill. On

the way they chatted mostly about Michelle's experiences as

Cindy's partner in their interior design business.

<Michelle: Cindy didn't say he had money. This is a brand new

Lexus. Now I'm just being shallow....I wonder what he does? Stop

doing this, you don't want to get involved in a deep

relationship. It's too soon. But...>

<Bob: Ok, we've talked about her job and Cindy. We need to find

some things in common. Cindy said she likes baseball, that's a

start....She's actually managed to make wallpaper

exciting....Well, maybe not, but I haven't fallen asleep at the

wheel like when Cindy tells me about work....Good, only a couple

of minutes until we get to the bar, I'm running out of

conversation.>

The Windmill was accessed from an outdoor stairway leading down

to its subterranean location. They noticed that it was about half

full and chose a secluded table in the corner to continue their

date. Michelle ordered a rum and coke and Bob ordered a bourbon,

straight up.

<Michelle: Who drinks bourbon nowadays? I didn't think anyone

since Bogart drank bourbon....Either this guy is a real man, or

he's one heavy pounding drinker. I'm hoping for the former.>

<Bob: Maybe a couple more of those and I won't have to work too

hard tonight....God, sometimes I even disgust myself. Here's a

sexy woman, who I think is attracted to me, and I'm thinking

about getting her drunk. Maybe Cindy's right about me being

shallow....*Is* Michelle attracted to me? Well, she didn't pull

her hand away in the restaurant, and we've held hands off and on.

She's laughing at all my stupid jokes, that says a lot. And I'm

sure as hell attracted to her.>

"So what do you do for a living?" Michelle asked as the musician

was taking a break.

"Oh, I design and test industrial strength condoms." Bob said

with a straight face.

Michelle snorted. "I thought they had machines to do that," she

lobbed back, grinning slyly. <This guy is too funny....He's so

cute.>

"Well, normally they do." Bob continued, his straight face giving

evidence of cracking, "But not in the large sizes that I test."

"Oh. Is that so." Michelle flashed him a mischievous grin. "It

sounds like an interesting position."

"It is. It's certainly much better than my last job."

"Oh, and what was that." she said chuckling.

"I gave calonics to the chronically flatulent....Now that job

stunk."

At this, they both burst into laughter as Michelle made light

contact with Bob's forearm. They looked deeply into each other's

eyes and Bob could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he

raised his hand to caress Michelle's fair cheek. He drew his head

nearer and approached her delicate lips noticing that goosebumps

on both of his arms were raised.

<Bob: Well, here goes nothing.>

<Michelle: Gentlemen, start your engines....Please be a good

kisser!>

Michelle parted her moist lips ever so slightly as Bob made

pleasurable contact. The touch of their lips was electric and as

they mashed them together it was all they could do to keep from

making a spectacle of themselves in public.

<Bob: We have to get out of here....What an incredible kiss....I

want her now....We can't keep this up for long, someone might get

pissed and say something....I've got to adjust this erection

without her noticing.>

Their lips separated, leaving a thin trail of saliva clinging to

each of them. They held hands above the table, while beneath

Michelle had removed her right shoe and began to run it up and

down Bob's calf.

<Michelle: How long do we have to stay here before one of us is

able to admit what we both want? What's he doing? Does he

have...he does and he's trying to adjust it without me noticing.

Should I pretend I don't know what he's doing, or tease

him....Tease works for me.>

"What are you looking for Bob?" Michelle asked as innocently as

she could. "Did you lose your keys?" <I shouldn't do this, it's

so cruel.>

Bob turned beet red. "No, I'm trying to get some money out of my

pocket to get another round of drinks."

" 'Twisted your money' Is that what the kids are calling it these

days?" she teased. "Was it the kissing that 'twisted your money',

or is it because I'm playing footsie with you?" Her eyes sparkled

brightly as she looked at him in as sexy a way as she could

muster.

"I don't know about you, but I really don't want another drink."

Bob practically gasped. <Looks as if I didn't manage to hide it

from her.>

<Michelle: YES!>

"Oh, I've had enough too, maybe you should...take me home."

Michelle's voice softened as she raised her eyes anxiously.

<Bob: YES!>

Michelle giggled softly as Bob discretely tried to adjust his

erection while they rose from the table. They climbed the steps

of the bar arm in arm as they fairly rushed to Bob's car,

laughing at their haste. The car was silent on the ride back to

Michelle's apartment, each of them consumed with thoughts of the

upcoming activities.

<Bob: I'm glad I jerked off earlier today, the last thing I'd

want is to lose it too early....What does it seem that she might

like? I wonder if she sucks cock. Maybe we can 69...I wonder if

she likes to be eaten -- that's the stupidest thing I've ever

said. What woman doesn't like to be eaten....Stop thinking about

this, you're going to put too much pressure on yourself.

Relax...Look at her, what a babe.>

<Michelle: Oh, shit! I forgot to clean the bathroom after my

shower...Did I make the bed today? I think I did. I hope so....Is

the living room clean; I don't think so....I hope he doesn't

think I'm a slob....I wonder if he'll go down on me. Please go

down on me! I can't believe I'm getting wet just thinking about

this. How long has it been since I had sex? Too long. Nine weeks

now. It was nine weeks ago tomorrow that I broke up with Dave --

what an asshole. Don't think about him; forget him.>

<Bob: It didn't seem like it took this long to get from her

place to the bar. Can I get any more red lights. Come on, change,

change. Finally. Only a couple of minutes until we get there.>

<Michelle: Is this a mistake? What's he going to think of me,

sleeping with him on the first date....He's going to think that

I'm a great fuck is what (she chuckled to herself)....Too late to

worry about that now Shel, I only hope that he's not an asshole

and will call me tomor....FUCK! I left the box of Monistat out! I

have to go to the bathroom before we start. Shit! Shit! Shit! Ok,

relax, no problem. That shouldn't be too tough, a gentleman

doesn't question a lady's trip to the lavatory before intimate

relations.>

They got out of the car and Michelle led Bob upstairs to her

apartment on the second floor. They burst through the apartment

and immediately began tearing at each other's clothes. Their lips

came together in a flurry of passion and Michelle ventured her

tongue hesitatingly into Bob's mouth. He accepted it hungrily,

and parried her tongue's attack with his own, locking in a battle

hidden by their mashing lips.

Bob had hiked Michelle's dress up to her waist and was running

his hands beneath her panties. Michelle, meanwhile was furiously

unknotting his tie and removing his shirt, while maintaining full

contact with his lips.

<Michelle: Oh God. Let's just get to the bedroom. >

<Bob: Oh, God. Her breath smells from that clam sauce she had

with her pasta. Holy shit, they put a lot of fucking garlic in

that. If she wasn't such a great kisser, I wouldn't be able to

take much more of this.>

Michelle broke the kiss and looked him seductively in the eyes.

She took him by the hand and led him silently to the bedroom.

"Why don't you get comfortable in here. I have to, uh, I'll be

back in a minute." She smiled shyly as she headed into the

bathroom.

<Michelle: My breath must smell like a garlic factory, let me

gargle some mouthwash....Where's that Monistat? Let me hide this

thing, the last thing I need him seeing is this tube.>

Michelle rinsed her mouth and slid out of her dress, and

realizing she had no place to put in the bathroom, threw it over

the shower rod. Then she removed her pantyhose and underwear and

sat on the toilet to relieve herself.

<Michelle: What should I wear? Should I wear anything? Should I

put on my robe and leave the front untied, for a sultry,

seductive look. No, that'll look dumb, it's not a very sexy robe.

Besides, we're a little past the point of subtle seduction.>

<Bob: Nice big bed....Keep your hand off your cock, you want to

come before she even gets in bed?>

Michelle stepped into the doorway, striking a pose, her naked

body silhouetted by the light coming from her bathroom.

<Bob: Look at that body. Beautiful. Nice full thighs. tits are a

little smaller than I thought, no big deal, they're still nice

tits....Little Bobby's going to be a happy boy tonight.>

<Michelle: I did this stupid pose, now what?>

Bob held out his arm, signaling for Michelle to join him in bed.

She slithered in next to him and they began kissing softly while

exploring each other's body with their hands. Bob took the

initiative and rolled Michelle on to her back, lavishing her body

with kisses as he worked his way down her body. He kissed and

nibbled on her neck before moving down to her breasts. Kneading

the soft handfuls, he licked and gnawed at her engorged tips,

flicking the with his tongue as he held them gently between his

teeth.

<Bob: I love these nips. They're so fucking long.>

<Michelle: Ohhh. That's incredible.>

"Mmmm, yeah. Suck on my tits." Michelle moaned.

Bob continued giving attention to her breasts for the next few

minutes before continuing his path down Michelle's body. He

reached her pussy and gave some tentative licks to the outer

lips, tasting her wetness. He traced her lips with his tongue,

then lightly began teasing her clitoral hood.

Michelle sighed in pleasure and Bob took the cue to give more

direct stimulation to her clit. He paused, though, ceasing his

tonging to investigate a disturbing odor.

<Bob: What's that smell? Don't tell me she farted. She fucking

farted? In my face....Well, that happens sometimes. Relax, just

ignore it. She's probably embarrassed....She did it

again?!?...This stinks down here>

<Michelle: OH GOD, I farted! I hope it doesn't smell. My little

farts usually never smell. I'd be so embarrassed. I knew I

shouldn't have had the white clam sauce with my linguine. That

always gives me gas. I'm just glad I haven't burped....He doesn't

seem to notice anything, though. >

<Bob: She has to realize I know she's farting. Give me a break,

Michelle! ...How do get your date to take a shit? There should be

a rule that makes sure you expel all of your bodily waste before

you let someone go down on you....I've never fucked a girl up the

ass without her having to run to the bathroom immediately

afterward. Maybe I should have started her off with an buttfuck

so she'd have to run to the bathroom and take a dump.>

As well as the date had gone up to this point, it seemed to be

taking an almost abrupt 180 degree turn.

"Lick my pussy." Michelle said quietly, having noticed that Bob

stopped.

<Bob: Maybe I can blow this stench out of the way. Excuse me, I

need a little oxygen down here! Ladies and Gentlemen, Dinner is

served!....Oh, God. Somebody, please kill the chef, the dinner is

spoiled.>

<Michelle: What the hell is he waiting for, is he studying to be

an OB-GYN, for christsakes? He started out so good, now he's just

staring at it. Maybe he's never seen one before. Oh Lord, he's a

virgin, he doesn't know what he's doing. I'm going to kill Cindy

for this. WHY ME?? Why do I constantly meet these guys? Excuse

me, do you want to borrow my camera, so you can have a

keepsake??!! Oh, this was such a mistake! >

Bob, relatively assured that most of the smell was gone, resumed

his oral attack of Michelle's pussy, relaxing her once again.

<Michelle: Finally! I hope I don't have to give him a lot of

instructions. Cindy's going to hear it from me on Monday.>

<Bob: Holy shit, trim some of this snatch hair, baby. Either

that or find yourself some Amish people and knit a fucking

quilt....What the hell is that taste? What is that? Is that piss?

That can't be piss. I'm not licking piss. She didn't dab herself

after peeing. This is so fucking gross. I can't do this. I'm just

going to finger her.>

<Michelle: Oh, great three licks and he's out. I can hardly wait

until he puts it in me. What happened to the great guy I went out

with tonight? ....What's he doing with his fingers? I hope he

isn't trying to figure out where things go..... Oh, that's

actually feeling good. Ohhh.>

"Ohh, yeah, come on baby lick me, lick my pussy." Michelle

groaned.

<Bob: Lick her pussy again, why didn't I just get drunk and

stumble home? Maybe I could have gotten lucky and fallen asleep

in a puddle of my own vomit....On the bright side, I've already

probably licked away all the piss. That's the bright side? That's

the FUCKING BRIGHT SIDE???!!!.... What is this shit in here? This

is like cheese. Excuse me, waiter, I didn't order cheese with my

meal. Oh, that's not cheese, that's yeast? Thank you very

much....I can officially be sick now. Maybe I should get some

flour and water and bake a loaf of fucking bread down here....Hey

Michelle, here's a hint, CLEAN YOUR FUCKING CUNT! Shit, let me

just get this over with. This started out as such a great date.

She's pretty, sexy, we have a lot in common...but what happened?

...Maybe I'll be home in time to catch the 2:30 Sportscenter.>

<Michelle: What's he doing down there? If you don't know what

you're doing then get out of there and let's get this over

with....So much for expecting good sex after having such a good

time earlier....This is just like when I started dating Dave.

Now there's a guy who didn't know his way around the female

anatomy...but he learned -- a little, anyway -- after I was very

patient with him....What a real asshole he turned out to be. Two

fucking years of my life wasted on him. 'Oh, by the way Shel,

I met somebody else, have a nice life.'...bastard....Even after

two years, he was lousy in bed. I'm just pissed that I wasted

all that time with him....Well, I'm not going to waste my time

with any man from now on. They have to be serious about me, and

know what it takes to please me. I'm not getting any younger; 29

in October and I'm not going to fritter my life away on one loser

after another, including Bobby-no-tongue down here....What the

hell is this guy doing, anyway? Time for a lesson....Ugh, these

men! Do any of them know how a woman's body works?>

"Here, lick this" She spread her lips open, giving him better

access to her sensitive little nubbin. <I've got to help this guy

out; give him some clue what to do down there.>

<Bob: I know what a fucking clit is, you bitch. I'm just

nauseated by your cunt...I don't know what's worse, Michelle and

her bakery down here or Tracy from a few months ago with the big

snatch....Now that was a big fucking pussy. There was just so

much extra skin that was in the way. It was like she had a set of

fucking gills instead of pussy lips. A lot like those dogs with

the jowls that hang down....If the saying about loose lips were

true, Tracy could sink an entire fleet. (He chuckled to

himself)... Oh, this just doesn't smell right. First she farts,

then the piss, then the yeast, I'm done down here.>

"Come on baby, suck my dick." Bob scooted up the bed, looking to

get some satisfaction of his own.

<Michelle: Talk about a dud, orally....And I had such high hopes

for his potential.>

<Bob: Would she be overly offended, if as a token of my

affection, I buy her a douche? And do they only come in those

Massengil boxes, or can you still find them in the bags like you

hear so much about?

Michelle began kissing her way down his chest until she got to

his erect prick. She took it in her hand and licked up and down

the shaft, periodically swirling her tongue around the head.

<Michelle: What the hell is this smell? Like the container of

Tupperware that's been left in the back of the refrigerator for a

few months...Come on buddy, wash your dick...Oh, I hope I don't

get herpes of the mouth....Cindy, you're dead!>

<Bob: What's she waiting for. Don't tell me she doesn't know

what to do! She better not use her teeth....How quickly can the

best date of your life turn into the worst?>

<Michelle: What is this white shit here? It's like it's dry and

crusty. I have no idea what it is, but could this be smegma? This

is what I needed, an up close view of Smegma. SMEGMA! I'm going

to be sick. I've got to wipe this away before I do anything. >

<Bob: Don't jerk me off, suck me. Come on put the fucking thing

back in your mouth.>

<Michelle: Well, that's a little better. At least he's not too

big, no danger of gagging....I'm going to need to call my mother
after this and swear at her, just so she'll tell me to wash my

mouth out with soap....That's it, I'm out; I'm done dating. I'm

becoming celibate, maybe even a nun....I've never thrown up on a

dick before, this could be the first. It would probably improve

the taste. I wonder if he'd leave right now if I did. Or maybe I

can offer him money to leave. I think I have a fifty in my wallet;

it'll be like reverse prostitution.>

Michelle tried to hide her laughter, but couldn't help chuckling

between sucks. Bob, meanwhile, was oblivious as he was enjoying

the feeling of her lips and tongue on his cock.

<Bob: At least she knows how to suck dick. That's not too bad.

That noise that she's making feels real good on my cock, too. She

better pull off soon, though, or I'm going to lose it.>

<Michelle: This is enough to turn me into a lesbian....If he

says he's going to call me I think I'll have to change my

number....I'm going to be sick. I can't believe I lasted this

long on his dick. I'm done with sucking this! When will this

end?>

<Bob: Good timing on her part. She knew just when to pull off.>

<Michelle: He's ready to fuck. Please don't kiss me, please

don't kiss me! Let's just get this over with.>

<Bob: I'm rolling her over and giving it to her from behind. Her

breath now smells of that fucking clam sauce mixed with mint

mouthwash. I think the clam sauce smell by itself was better.>

<Michelle: He's rolling me over. I don't have to watch!!! One

point for me! Maybe I'll get real lucky and he's a premature

ejaculator and he'll leave soon....Oh, God. I'm actually hoping

that he's a premature ejaculator. I've never wanted anyone to

finish as quickly as I do now!!>

Bob slid his erect cock along the length of Michelle's pussy,

getting it moist from the contact with her engorged labia. He

plunged it in slowly, grabbing her hips as he did, feeling her

walls engulf him snugly. He eased himself out before ramming

forward with another thrust. Michelle grunted with his thrusts as

her pussy got accustomed to the feeling of Bob's intruding

member.

Bob reached around to Michelle's front and began fingering her

clit as rocked his cock in and out of her sex. Michelle whimpered

under the dual attention her pussy was getting and found it

difficult to concentrate on anything but the pleasure that she

was receiving.

<Michelle: Ungh. He's not bad at this. Ooh. Ooooh. He's good at

this. Very good! Ungh. Maybe I was hasty at, ohhh, judging him.

Maybe he just, ungh, can't eat, mmmm, pussy well, that's all.

Mmmmm.>

<Bob: What a tight little pussy. Ohhh. What the fuck is she

doing with her cunt muscles? That's incredible. She's squeezing

them on my dick. I've had girls do that before, but never like

this; it's like she has a little hand in there squeezing

me....Baseball. Football. My 75 year old neighbor, Mrs. Sanders.

Come on, concentrate! Don't lose it. Think of something. World

series winners: 1967, Cardinals; 1968, Tigers; 1969, Mets; 1970,

Orioles; 1971, Pirates; 1972, 1973, 1974, A's; 1975, 1976, Reds;

1977,1978, Yankees; 1979, Pirates; 1980, Phillies; 1981,

Dodg...Oh, much better, the feeling has passed. Come on, make

this last....I think I'll hold off for a while now. Nice and

slow. ...What a great fuck....Get it in deeply; bottom

out....Fuck, she has a great ass. How pissed would she be if I

switched holes? That ass is just too tempting, I'm going to have

to lick my finger and play with it.>

<Michelle: Oh God. What a fuck this guys is....What's he doing

with his finger back there? Hey! Ohhhh that's nice. That feels so

fucking good....I take back everything I was thinking about him.

Ohhhh, fuck. OH! OH! OHHHH!>

"Ohhhh, fuck me harder!" Michelle grunted. "Yeah, that's it baby.

Mmmm. Come on, fuck me. Ungh."

"Oh fuck, you're so fucking good. Your pussy is so hot."

<Bob: Oh, shit. She's squeezing even harder. I'm not going to be

able to take much more than this....Try to hold off, slow down

the strokes....I want to come so bad, I can't hold off for much

longer.>

Michelle screeched in orgasm as Bob continued to pound away at

her spasming pussy. Although he tried to hold out for as long as

he could, the contractions of her vagina on his cock was too

much. He could feel the pressure build in his balls and in just a

half-dozen more furious strokes he lost himself within her tight

fleshy walls.

Out of weakness Michelle could no longer hold herself up on her

hands and knees, and she flopped on her stomach. Bob rolled next

to her and was sweating and panting heavily, trying to catch his

breath.

<Bob: What a great fuck. Ok, maybe she needs to douche, and

farting in my face was bad, but that was honestly the best fuck

of my life. The things she does with her pussy muscles are just

incredible.>

<Michelle: Mmmm. I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow,

but that's fine....He might not be able to go down very well, but

he sure knows how to fuck.>

Michelle rolled over and snuggled close to Bob, idly running her

fingertips through his chest hair. He lifted his arm up and

placed it on her shoulder and absentmindedly began playing with

her soft brown hair.

<Bob: Now what? I can't just jump up and leave, but what the

fuck should I do? This is so comfortable -- so right -- I could

just fall asleep here....We had sex, but that doesn't mean she

wants me to spend the night. This blows, trying to figure out

what I sh...I'm hungry, I wonder what she has in the

fridge. Stop worrying about food....Shit, what should I do?>

<Michelle: Should I ask him to stay the night? Oh God, I hate

this. If I ask him, he'll just come up with a lame lie about

needing to get up tomorrow....Damn, I have to pee....If he lies

about having something to do tomorrow, I'll get pissed....What am

I going to do? The date was nice, but things were kind of awkward

when we first got back. Awkward, that's a nice word. I was ready

to vomit on his cock....I guess I overreacted. No, I *know* I

overreacted....Do I really care what he does now, do I want to

see him again? I guess I really do. He's a nice guy -- and a

great fuck....I gotta pee. Come on, make a decision....Maybe if

I go to the bathroom, he'll make the decision for us. He'll either

be asleep or getting dressed with a lame excuse -- and if he comes

up with one I don't think I want to see him again....I hate this.>

"I have to get up and ... use the little girl's room." Michelle

stated softly. <'little girls' room' That sounds so corny.>

"This must be a larger apartment than it seems. I didn't realize

you had a girls' room and a boys' room." Bob deadpanned.

Michelle laughed and flashed a broad smile at Bob as she pounced

up from the bed and walked gingerly to the bathroom.

<Michelle: He's a really funny guy. And he was so nice on our

date. And, well, the sex was....Please don't turn out to be a

jerk.>

<Bob: What a great ass -- and that smile. I've got to see her

again, but I want to get out of here. I don't feel comfortable

just inviting myself to sleep over....I've got to handle this

just right.>

As Michelle returned from the bathroom, Bob was buttoning his

shirt, almost fully dressed.

"Oh, are you leaving?" Michelle blurted out, unable to hide the

sadness in her voice. <Don't get mad and don't cry. Just be

cool.>

"Michelle, I'd love to stay the night," Bob said sincerely, "but

we hadn't talked about it and I didn't want to put you on the

spot by inviting myself to sleep over." He smiled slightly,

hoping that she would understand, and not think that he was just

trying to get out as quickly as possible.

<Michelle: He's not a creep. He's actually a nice guy.>

"That's really considerate of you, but it would have been ok for

you to spend the night, too." Michelle smiled as she was grabbing

her robe, walking Bob toward the door. < 'would have been ok'?

How about nice? Or sweet? I couldn't think of something better

than 'ok'? I really am vocabularially challenged when talking to

men....Is that even a word, I mean I th...What did he say?>

<Bob: Now she says something....I could be asleep right now,

with something nice and warm to snuggle up to.>

"Well, as silly as it may sound after what we just finished

doing," Bob blushed a bit and then looked into Michelle's eyes

and smiled deeply. "But I didn't want to impose."

<Bob: I hope I don't sound like a real weenie. 'But I didn't

want to impose' -- oh yeah, major weenie alert.>

Michelle smiled and reached out for Bob's hand, squeezing it in

her own, and kissed him warmly on the cheek.

"You're a nice guy, Bob. I had a great time tonight." <Ask me out

again. Ask me out again. Come on, ask me out again.>

"Would you, uh," Bob cleared his throat, "like to go out next

Friday. Maybe dinner and a movie?" <Say yes. Say yes. Say yes.>

"Sounds great," she gushed. "I'd love to."

Bob sighed in relief. "Great, I'll give you a call this week to

make plans."

<Michelle: Kiss goodnight? No kiss goodnight? What's it going to

be? This is silly, we had sex!>

Bob answered Michelle's unspoken question by grabbing her hips

firmly, bringing her nearer to him. He leaned in and their lips

met tenderly, kissing for well over a minute, until they were

forced to come up for air. Then they simply stared in each

other's eyes for what seemed to them like a lifetime,

transmitting a million thoughts and feelings to each other

without uttering a word.

"I should be going, it's getting pretty late. I'll give you a

call this week to finalize plans, ok." Bob said, walking out her

door.

"Ok, bye." Michelle smiled as he headed toward the stairs.

<Bob: I definitely have a new opinion of blind dates now.>

<Michelle: I can't wait to thank Cindy Monday morning.>

-----------------------

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