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ISSUE 15 girls invites him their hotel
Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #15
February 9, 2002
I do not accept for review via email. If you want a
reviewed, post it to alt.sex.stories.moderated. If it looks like
something I might enjoy, I'll read it. If I read it, I'll review it.
Reviews are archived at http://www.asstr.org/~TaintedLime/.
---
Stories reviewed in this issue:
Meeting Alyssa, by Dick Bigger, Esq. (* * *)
Q.Diaries: Las Vegas Hotel, by Quinten S. Winch (* *)
Law and Justice, by anais ninja (* * * *)
The Art of Seduction, by Serene Cherry (* * * *)
Fun Fun Fun, by Honey Moon (* * * *)
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{ASSM} Meeting Alyssa (oral, romance)
By Dick Bigger, Esq. <dick_bigger77@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35036
This is a very simple of a who walks in to the bedroom
to see his girlfriend masturbating. What ensues is very nice and
very pleasant.
Grammatically, this makes few mistakes. Stylistically, I
thought there were too many adjectives. We have "pert breasts,"
"excited nipples," "dainty hands," "sunken navels," "swollen
labia," ... every body part is relentlessly qualified by an
adjective.
But it's a light, sweet story, and one I still enjoyed reading.
Rating: * * *
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{ASSM} Q.Diaries: Las Vegas Hotel {Quinten S. Winch Jr} (MFF, FF, oral, bi, toys)
By Quinten S. Winch <qswinch@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35090
The `bi' in the codes refers to the female-female sex.
Quinten is attending an exhibition in Las Vegas. One evening, all
the exhibitors are invited to an evening where they are
introduced to gambling. While there, Quinten spots a couple
lovely ladies. He stares. They catch him staring. One of the
girls invites him to their hotel room. All three of them end up
in bed together.
The shifts tenses for no explicable reason, and there were
many minor grammatical problems. There are stretches where the
grammar is pretty good because the author keeps his sentences
simple. Unfortunately, the simplicity of the sentences became
monotonous. The paragraphs were also too long.
The writing style works best when the sex starts, which is
appropriate for a that is probably meant to be a stroke
story. But there are a lot of stroke out there that are
better polished than this one.
Rating: * *
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{ASSM} Law and Justice (MF humor)
By anais ninja <anais_ninja@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35120
Just when I thought I'd read it all.
If you've been reading the newspapers lately, you probably know
that the United States' Attorney General asked that the statues
of the Spirit of Justice and the Majesty of Law have their bodies
draped. I suppose he was embarrassed giving press conferences in
front of partially naked statues.
And this proves that Mr. Ashcroft didn't go far enough. He
should have put chastity belts on those metal fuckers.
This is well-written, funny, and makes some nice jabs at a
few prudes in the White House. The is too bizarre to be
very arousing, but it is still an entertaining read.
Rating: * * * *
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{ASSM} The Art of Seduction (FF) by Serene Cherry
By Serene Cherry <serenecherry@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35103
I have some advice for all authors out there: make your opening
paragraph shine. Your reader's first impression of your
will be based on the first few sentences you write. If you have a
weak opening with spelling and grammar mistakes, you're pitting
your readers against you from the very start.
While "The Art of Seduction" does not have too many grammar
problems, it still opens with a sloppy first sentence: "It was a
very hot day out that afternoon." One sentence into this
and I'm already annoyed. Instead of enjoying myself, I'm now
looking to pick this apart.
So please, if you don't have the patience to polish your entire
story, at least polish the first paragraph.
This is remarkable because I came to enjoy it in spite of
the bad beginning. It's Katherine's first day in a new job, and
Gabrielle has been assigned to show her the ropes. Gabrielle has
a way about her that keeps Katherine blushing - or is it just the
heat? Gabrielle's is the only office with air conditioning, and
Katherine spends an uncomfortable day in her hot office, blushing
and sweating.
After everyone has gone home, Katherine sneaks into Gabrielle's
office to cool off. She rifles through the drawers in Gabrielle's
desk and stumbles across a vibrator. After some quality toy time,
Katherine gets ready to leave. But before she can get away,
Gabrielle walks in.
Katherine fibs her way into a corner, and to cover up the lies,
she ends up spending the night in Gabrielle's apartment. And
there, the art of seduction kicks into high gear.
What's good about this is the heat. It's oppressive,
constantly present, and very, very sexy. And while the writing is
sometimes sloppy (like the opening sentence), the atmosphere
created more than makes up for it.
Rating: * * * *
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{ASSM} "Fun Fun Fun"
By Honey Moon <cuteycindyhoney@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35107
Betty Sue told her she was going to the library, but she
forgot all about the library. The otherwise known as the Pink
Viper had her daddy's 1956 Thunderbird Roadster, and she is going
to have some fun, fun, fun.
Betty Sue meets Bobby at the hamburger stand where they arrange
to race. If Betty Sue wins, she gets Bobby's pink slip; if Bobby
wins, Betty Sue has to go out on a date with him. A blowout and
the arrival of the police put an end to the Pink Viper's winning
streak, and Officer Mitchell returns Betty Sue to her shocked and
angry parents.
But the fun doesn't stop just because Betty Sue's T-Bird has been
taken away. After losing the race, she dates Bobby, who turns out
to be a nice guy. And once she realizes he's a nice guy, she
doesn't mind rewarding him with a few tricks she's learned along
the way.
This is a cute story. Sure, the grammar in this sucks in
places, but the has a good-natured simplicity that I found
charming. I laughed in a couple places and smiled through the
whole thing.
If Honey Moon learned to use her commas correctly, this would be
an excellent story.
Rating: * * * *