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ISSUE 30 stories would like probably

Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #30

March 19, 2002

This issue contains more story reviews from the Virago Blue Challenge,

Chicks in Chain Mail. On the whole, the challenge resulted in two

types of stories: fantasy pieces, which I rarely like, and inside

jokes which I didn't understand.

Most of the participants in the challenge are among my favorite authors

in ASSM. Unfortunately, the chain mail challenge lent itself to story

types that aren't my cup of tea. Honestly, most stories appeared to be

aimed at other authors rather than the general reading public, and I

suspect that the authors will find my reviews of these stories irrelevant.

Had I known in advance that the stories would be like, I probably would

have skipped the entire challenge. But now that I only have two more

stories to go, I do feel compelled to review the remainder.

Reviews are archived at http://www.asstr.org/~TaintedLime/.

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Stories reviewed in this issue:

The Good, the Bad and the Virago, by PleaseCain (* *)

Streaks, by Shon Richards (* * *)

Momentos, by celia batau (* * *)

The Fox and the Chick, by Leowulf (* * *)

Bianca Sends a Warning, by Desdmona22 (* * *)

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{ASSM} [VBC] "The Good, the Bad and the Virago" by PleaseCain

By PleaseCain <pleasecain@aol.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35728

This Virago Blue Challenge story completely baffles me. I

recognize all the words, and I can parse all the sentences, and

on the surface, it makes some sense. But I have no idea what this

extremely short story is talking about. Painters, I think, ogling

a chick in chainmail?

I smell an inside joke. Insiders will probably get it. Outsiders

probably won't.

Rating: * *

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{ASSM} [VBC] "Streaks" (M/F, Fantasy, Bondage, Hero/Villain, Rom)

By Shon Richards <shonrichardshsd@earthlink.net>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35750

Here we have a fantasy story about the battle between Viona the

White and Zandark the Cruel. It is, apparently, an on-going

battle in which Viona submits to being fucked in exchange for the

destruction of a dark tower.

One of the problems with the Virago Blue Chicks in Chainmail

Challenge is I don't like fantasy or historical fiction. This

particular fantasy piece is well-written, and it isn't weighed

down by overly flowery prose. There is even a real sex scene

here, something that is missing from many challenge stories.

But it's still fantasy, and it's still hard for me to read it

without being acutely aware that these people are unreal.

Rating: * * *

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{ASSM} [VBC] Momentos {celia batau} (vbc2)

By celia batau <pinataheart@bigplanet.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35751

Another entry in the Virago Blue Challenge, this is actually

eight mostly unrelated vignettes. According to the introductory

paragraph, they are somehow responses to things other authors

have said. Since I am not aware what the other authors said,

it's hard to say how effective they are in that context. In

many of the vignettes, there are Greek gods making a nuisance

of themselves.

They are very well-written little scenes and vivid in their

imagery. Is there any sex here? Some, sort of. Is there any

story here? No, not really.

But it's as entertaining a non-story as you will likely see.

Rating: * * *

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{ASSM} [VBC] The Fox and the Chick (F/M, F/F, oral, bond, magic, myth)

By Leowulf <leowulf@softhome.nospam.net>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35760

Another entry in the Chicks in Chainmail challenge, "The Fox and

the Chick" is a fantasy story that takes place during what

appears to be a war between the mages and the maenads. Fox's

outpost is about to be overrun by the maenad horde, and a

bodyguard is dispatched to escort him to safety.

Did I mention the maenads are sexually obsessed women who rape

every man they take captive? Did I mention Fox's bodyguard is a

very large, very beautiful woman wearing magic chainmail?

There is something about this challenge that brings out the

punster in many authors, and this author is no exception. The

writing has a few technical problems ("it's" instead of "its,"

for example), but it's not badly written.

The best part of the story is the implied dominance of Fox's

bodyguard over Fox. The worst part of this story is it's yet

another fantasy-based plot, and I just don't care for those

kinds of stories.

Fortunately, the language is not too stilted, so it is easier to

read than most. As a fantasy story, I liked it as much as any I've

read.

Rating: * * *

---

{ASSM} [VBC] "Bianca Sends a Warning" by Desdmona

By Desdmona22 <Desdmona22@aol.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35757

The next combatant in the Chick in Chainmail Challenge is

Desdmona, who didn't realize that chainmail was supposed to have

something to do with body armor. What we have instead is a chain

letter. If you don't pass it on to as many females as you can,

you'll go frigid. But if you *do* pass it on, you'll soon be living

out your favorite sexual fantasy.

Several short vignettes follow the letter, each describing a

particular woman's fantasy. The best one is about the clown,

although it is a little creepy.

It's not really a story, but it is a good excuse to write several

short, sexually explicit scenes. One warning: there is also a

short quiz at the end of the story. Please, take careful notes,

and no cheating!

Rating: * * *