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ISSUE 32 movies Hollywood fond

Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #32

March 22, 2002

I feel a little uneasy about the Virago Blue Challenge reviews, and

while I believe the reviews serve a purpose and I'm not sorry I posted

them, I feel that a little further explanation is in order.

I was eagerly looking forward to the results of the challenge. I had

heard rumors of which authors were pariticipating, and my expectations

were very high. I thought I would enjoy many of the stories, and I began

reviewing them thinking I would find lots to rave about.

About five stories into the VBC, I realized I was getting myself

in trouble. I'd read a lot of stories that I wouldn't ordinarily read,

and I had not liked them. I had a dry, intellectual admiration for

several of the stories, but I can't give a rave recommendation to a

story that I enjoyed as much as a chemistry textbook. So the challenge

resulted in a lot of three-star ratings.

While part of me wishes I hadn't reviewed *any* of the VBC stories,

I'm still glad I didn't quietly ignore the whole thing. At the very

least, readers understand my biases better, and that's a very good

thing.

On a related note, I believe ASSM would be well-served by additional

voices contributing to the discussion of stories. I would especially

like to encourage dissenting opinions. If you think one of my reviews

is stupid and unfair, please say so in alt.sex.stories.d (the 'd' is

for 'discussion').

And one final note: I will be spending next week someplace spring-breaky;

if all goes well, the sun will leave me just a little bit riper than

before. The Tainted Lime Reviews will return in April.

Reviews are archived at http://www.asstr.org/~TaintedLime/.

---

Stories reviewed in this issue:

giggling, by Nicholas Urfe (* * * * *)

Best in Show, by Knickers (* * *)

Sally's First Time, by JAZZ (* * *)

3 Short Stories, by Sean Ng (* *)

Student of Love, by Amorous Two (* * *)

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{ASSM} giggling 1:3 [urfe] [new]

By Nicholas Urfe <nickurfe@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35766

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35767

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35768

This story is one heck of a ride.

It's all about porn stars shooting a porn movie. Honey Rider, a

veteran of the porn wars, is starring with an assortment of other

augmented body parts while Keystone Cops try to run the camera.

Hanging around inside is Barbie, a young girl whose job is giving

blowjobs to a washed up male porn star.

Barbie and Honey get to know one another between takes, if you

know what I mean.

Like many Nicholas Urfe stories, Giggling is written with a

distinctive style. Many stories with distinctive styles quickly

get old. But this story benefits from a lot of powerful

distractions: the absurdity of the porn people, the attitudes of

the women, and, ultimately, the fatigue of those who are taking

part of this ridiculous business.

This story is on the outer size limits of what I normally read,

but I'm very glad I read it. If you read it, you'll be glad too.

Rating: * * * * *

---

{ASSM} Best in Show (A Nicola Adventure) {Knickers} (MF FF exhib)

By Knickers <sarah7932@yahoo.co.uk>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35769

The Nicola series continues with Nicola going away to the Great

Northwest to participate in a beauty contest. When she arrives,

she is surprised to find a convention of wrinkled Republicans is

also occupying the hotel. Do to space constraints, Nicola must

share a room with Angela, her long-time nemesis.

Despite plenty of clues, naive Nicola hasn't figured out that the

beauty contest is a scam. All the women flown in from West

Hollywood are here to provide a service to the horny old
Republicans.

There is a costume party where Nicola gets dressed as a Playboy

bunny, while her roommate, Angela, is a dominatrix. There is also

a talent contest. And the ending is straight out of one of those

cheesy competition movies Hollywood is so fond of making.

If you think this all sounds utterly ridiculous, you're right.

But the story doesn't take itself seriously, so it reads as a

light-hearted romp. The grammar and spelling gets pretty bad in

places, but most of it is pretty good.

But mostly this story is what it is supposed to be: a lot of

stupid, sexy fun.

Rating: * * *

---

{ASSM} Sally's First Time (FF, 1st, Teen)

By JAZZ <paladin1954@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35770

This story chronicles the early sexual history of a twenty-two

year-old lesbian. The story bounces from early teenage yearnings

to heterosexual disasters to a final relationship with the most

beautiful girl in school.

While the story is well-written, it is not convincing. Several

scenes are skimmed over so lightly that I couldn't visualize what

was going on. The lesbian sex scene is presented as a very

pleasant experience, but in a story told with a lot of

seriousness, the lack of much emotional response is a glaring

deficiency.

The author has story-telling talent, though, and if you care only

about the sex, this has a good lesbian sex scene. With a bit more

depth, it could easily be more.

Rating: * * *

---

{ASSM} 3 Short stories
By Sean Ng <seanx50@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35773

Here are three very short stories. The first is about a woman who

binds herself to a bed so her lover will find her there. The

second is about a couple of girls who are caught shoplifting and

are forced to model lingerie for the store as punishment. And the

third is about a woman who is an excellent chess player, but the

man figures out a crack in her play that lets him beat her; they

play chess for money and sex.

The grammar is very poor, and some of the mistakes are not

typical of problems I ordinarily see in these stories. I would

guess English is not the author's first language. And while the

plots are compelling and the author shows a good sense of pace,

the English is sometimes so bad that it's hard to read.

It would take a lot of proofreading, but it would be worth it to

clean these babies up.

Rating: * *

---

{ASSM} Student of Love

By Amorous Two <amoroustwo@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35776

The man in this story has gone through a difficult divorce. After

a year of feeling inadequate in the sack, he decides to become a

student of love. He reads books and watches videos until he knows

everything there is to know about female sexual response.

He then begins a friendship with a waitress who lives in a city

he visits frequently on business. Eventually, they meet for

coffee. Sparks fly. They end up back in his hotel room, in the

bathtub, naked.

Without a doubt, the purpose of this story is the sex scene, and

the introduction is aimed at getting the participants soaking

together in the hotel tub.

The story is well-written. The student of love thing is a clever

idea, but it is one that could have been used better. Once the

narrator is introduced, we lose the whole thing about studying

books and watching videos. It is never mentioned again, except in

passing at the end of the story. I would have liked to see it

made more integral to the plot and sex scene.

But then the author claims this is a true story, and reality does

not always provide the most intriguing plot lines. Perhaps a

little augmentation of the truth would have helped the plot a

little. But for a true story in ASSM, this one is top of the

heap.

Rating: * * *