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Unexpected Consequences

Unexpected Consequences {Redman}

When I saw it on Bobby's computer, I was stunned. Home

for lunch today, I went to put away his clothes. I'm

not a snoopy mother. Really, I'm not! A boy needs

privacy. I've taught him to respect mine; I give him

his as well. But he had obviously rushed off this

morning, forgetting what was there.

There, on the screen, what I saw was deeply troubling!

I know such things exist. I just never thought I'd see

them in my own home. Certainly not in Bobby's room!

Bobby is a quiet, serious boy. He's only fourteen

and the story of incest and violence that I saw on his

monitor was painful for even me to read. I know I

can't protect him from all life's terrors, but I can

and I will protect him from this.

I understand computers. I use them every day at work.

So, after calling in and saying I had a family

emergency, I set out to find where my son was getting

such stories and to know the extent of this behavior.

I looked first on his hard drive. I found them easily,

dozens of stories, most with obscene titles. Many of

them contained the word "Mother." These distressed me

considerably.

But then I reasoned, all boys fantasize about their

mothers. Even the ancient Greeks wrote about it. So I

applied the first rule of parenthood: Don't panic! I

read them. They were shocking true, but that soon wore

off. A few of them were just crude and stupid. But

most he had saved, the better-written ones, would have

been arousing in any other context. I saw at least my

son had better taste than the first few examples made

me fear.

I searched more thoroughly. I made notes on his

favorite newsgroups and websites. That's when I saw

it.

I had pulled up a bookmarked website titled

"Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository." I clicked through

the page with the attractive blonde and there it was,

in the list of "New Files." {ASSM} Photographs and

Memories by Desdmona (MF rom) - whatever all that

meant.

That was the title of Robert's favorite song. Just

seeing those three words in print made me realize

again how lonely I'd been since he died. God, I missed

him so much! The pain was suddenly so raw, I almost

didn't click it. But once I did, I couldn't stop

reading. All of the memories that story evoked. Robert

and I... our first time... Such a sweet experience

then. Such a bittersweet memory now!

I didn't confront Bobby when he came home. I couldn't

so soon after reading that story.

Tonight as I lay in my bed, I struggled over what to

say to him when I did, how I could use this to help

him grow to be the man his father was. Then I closed

my eyes and thought about that story. Suddenly, Robert

was holding me and we made love for the first time...

again.