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CAMEL thick stone walls with approval The

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The following piece of fiction contains strong sexual

content and is meant to be read only by adults. If you

are not at least 18 years old, or if you are offended by

this type of material, please do not read any further.

====================================================

"Night of the Camel"

by DG

Colonel Humberto Hurtado followed his Indian guide up

the steep mountain trail, gasping for breath in the thin air,

his eyes fixed on the rocky ground that rose inexorably in

front of him. After what seemed like an eternity the guide

stopped, and Hurtado, his face locked into a mask of effort

and pain, almost ran into him.

"We rest here," said the guide, his first words since

dawn.

Hurtado noticed that they were on a rare patch of level

ground, and then he realized with relief that they had

reached the top of the pass. Spread out in front of them

along the horizon was a wide golden band, shimmering and

hazy, like an apparition. The great Kahlarine desert.

The guide grunted and pointed, and Hurtado followed his

outstretched arm and saw a tiny walled settlement nestled in

the dry hills right at the edge of the sand. Fort Amatilla:

the furthest, most remote outpost of Her Majesty's far-flung

empire.

He reached into his backpack and dug out the last chunk

of stale bread, and after wolfing it down he treated himself

to a long draught from his canteen. Then he nodded to the

guide, and they set off on the long descent that would take

them into the hellish heat of the otherworldly landscape

below.

He reached the front gate of the fort a few hours

later, trudging alone along the desolate, sun-baked track.

His guide had left him once they had reached this road, if

you could call it a road; he had nodded to Hurtado with a

hint of sympathy around the edges of his impassive face, and

then turned and headed back up the mountain at a rapid pace.

A few seconds later Hurtado remembered that he should really

have given the man a few reals, and he turned around and

reached into his pocket. But the man was gone, as if he had

never existed. Hurtado shrugged philosophically; after all,

Indians had no use for the metal coins of a civilized empire.

He wasn't surprised when a young man in a major's

uniform marched stiff-legged out of the front gate and

saluted him. In this flat, treeless country he had been

visible on the road for a least an hour. He returned the

major's salute wearily, painfully conscious of his own

filthy, sweat-stained uniform and unshaven face.

"Welcome, Colonel. We have been expecting you. My

name is Major Ramon Dilantro. I hereby turn command of Her

Majesty's Fort over to you."

Hurtado nodded formally. "Thank you, Major Dilantro."

"Would you like to conduct your initial inspection now,

sir?"

Hurtado wanted nothing more than a meal, a bath, and a

comfortable bed. But custom dictated that he tour this

Godforsaken fort and meet its unfortunate inhabitants

immediately.

"Certainly." He followed the young man inside, noting

the thick stone walls with approval. The twenty-three

soldiers he was to command were lined up single file on the

dusty floor, and they pulled themselves to attention as he

came in. They were all painfully thin, and their uniforms

were threadbare and patched, but they were more or less

clean, and none of them seemed drunk. As he formally greeted

each one, he wondered what unfortunate circumstances, what

grievous misconduct, had caused them to be assigned to Fort

Amatilla. No doubt they were wondering the same thing about

him.

After meeting the men, he toured the inside of the

fort. The men slept in wooden bunks along the walls, while

as commanding officer he had one corner for his living

quarters, walled off with hanging blankets. The inspection

didn't take long. Once he was satisfied that the cannon were

in good working order and that the interior of the fort was

reasonably well-kept, he wasn't inclined to ask many

questions.

"The men all seem to be sober and well-behaved," he

remarked to Dilantro when they were finished. "Is discipline

not a problem in such a place?"

"No one wants to be here," admitted Dilantro. "But we

make the best of a bad situation, and morale is reasonably

good. Drunkenness is not an issue, of course - there is no

alcohol within three hundred miles of here."

"I see," replied Hurtado heavily. "The time must pass

very slowly. We both know there is precious little chance of

seeing any action, with the recent treaty...how do the men

amuse themselves?"

"It's not easy, sir. During the day it is too hot to

do anything but talk. At night the men play cards and dice,

and sometimes there is singing. But for true amusement, the

kind of amusement that all men require from time to time, we

have only our one camel. Each man has the use of the camel

for a night, in rotation." He gave Hurtado a nervous,

sidelong glance.

The animal in question was a shaggy, smelly beast

tethered to a post near the back of the fort. Hurtado was

deeply shocked by the obvious meaning in Major Dilantro's

words, and his first impulse was to reply angrily. He was a

decent man, proud to be an officer in Her Majesties army, and

to have such a thing spoken of openly...it was terrible.

But he was tired, bone-tired, and he was loath to make

a scene so soon after taking command. There was also a

little voice in the back of his head. A voice that said

"Humberto, perhaps you should not judge these men until you

too have spent many months here...Are you not a man of hot

blood, a man of strong passion? Is that not how you came to

be here in the first place? Perhaps you will have a

different view about the camel in time."

He realized that Dilantro was looking at him anxiously,

waiting for some sort of reaction.

"It is, I hope, a female camel?"

"Why yes sir, it is. Her name is Mathilda. But the

men would be equally happy with a male camel, I imagine."

This was too much. It was enough to turn his stomach.

He nodded curtly to his second-in-command and went into his

private quarters.



Time did pass slowly at Fort Amatilla, and it passed

more slowly for its commander than for anyone. He had many

long, hot, dusty hours to reflect upon the woman he had left

in Sevilla and on the ruin of his once-promising career.

Indeed, he could hardly reflect upon the one without finding

his thoughts drawn to the other. It was the old military

story: the wife of a superior officer. A few months of

bliss, and then his life had been turned upside down by a

traitorous manservant. He and his beloved Isabel had been

flogged in public, and then he had been assigned here, forced

to leave immediately. They never had a chance to say

goodbye, and probably never would.

This alone would be enough to make a man melancholy, or

worse, but there was also the matter of the camel. Hurtado

would pretend not to notice when, every evening around dusk,

a man would untether the unpleasant beast and lead her out

the front gate, accompanied by good-natured joking and

teasing by his friends. Many hours later, sometimes not

until nearly dawn, the man would come back inside, dirty,

smelly, and exhausted, with a ridiculous smile on his face

and a friendly pat for the camel as he tethered her back to

the post. Yes, he pretended not to notice, but he did

notice, and although he didn't put a stop to it, it affected

his relationship with the men. He quickly became the kind of

distant, fault-finding commander that he himself had always

detested, and the men learned to avoid him.

Months passed, many sleepless nights, and Hurtado

became increasingly miserable. The dislike of his men

bothered him more than he cared to admit - he had always been

popular with his fellow officers and with the enlisted men

under him, and the cold stares, the sudden halt in the flow

of conversation when he approached, was more than he could

bear. Added to this was the image of his lovely Isabel,

always hovering nearby, ready to invade his thoughts whenever

he let down his guard. Her warm, loving embrace, her sweet

lips. And yes, her firm, creamy-white bosom and her hot,

moist sex, always ready for him.

The only thing he could do to improve his rapport with

the men was unthinkable. But he did think about it, late at

night when the fort was quiet and dark, the silence broken

only by the regular cries of "All's well" from the sentries.

It was unnatural, detestable. "And yet," the little voice in

his head would whisper, "is it natural that a man should live

in such a place? Is it natural for a man to be without the

company of women for months on end?"

One night the little voice wore him out. He simply ran

out of moral strength, like an hourglass running out of sand.

"Yes," he said out loud, softly. "Yes, I will do it." And

then he turned over and slept more soundly than he had in

months.

The next afternoon he called Major Dilantro into his

quarters. Thinking he was to be disciplined, the young man

shaved and presented himself in his best uniform.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes. Please, have a seat."

Something in his commander's manner told Dilantro that

he wasn't to be reprimanded, and he sat down with a look of

relief.

After a short pause, Hurtado said "The men don't like

me."

"Not at all, sir, they -"

"No, no, we will have none of that. They don't like

me, and they have good reason. I've been too hard on them.

This is a command that calls for understanding and leniency,

and I chose the opposite approach."

Dilantro didn't object to this. It was obviously true,

and Hurtado was clearly in no mood to be humored.

"The real problem, and we might as well bring it out

into the open, is with the camel." He still couldn't bring

himself to call her Mathilda. "The men resent me for looking

down on them. They know I disapprove, on moral grounds."

"They respect your feelings, sir. And at the same time

they are glad that you do not put a stop to it."

"Yes, yes, but no man enjoys being judged a sinner by

another."

"No, sir."

"I have thought about this long and hard, and I have

decided that this has gone on long enough. I would like you

to put me into the normal rotation, so I can take my turn."

Dilantro smiled. "Very good, sir. You shall have her

tonight, of course, as is your right. The men will be

delighted to hear it, believe me."

"Very well, then. Dismissed."



Word traveled fast in such cramped, intimate

surroundings, and when Hurtado lifted the blanket and stepped

out of his quarters at dusk the men smiled their approval at

him, all coldness gone.

As he nervously approached the camel, Dilantro appeared

at his side and coughed discreetly. "Let me explain the

procedure to you, sir. As you know -"

"I think I can figure out the 'procedure', as you call

it, Major," he replied angrily. "Let us not speak of such

things so callously."

Dilantro looked surprised. "As you wish, sir."

Hurtado untethered the mangy animal and led her towards

the front gate, painfully aware that everyone's gaze was upon

him. Fortunately there was no joking, no calling out, or he

would certainly have lost his temper. Then he was outside in

the rapidly cooling night air, under a canopy of stars, and

his spirits lifted. He had been a fool to take such a moral

stand. It was not such a terrible thing, really. Was it not

a far worse thing to put yourself above your fellows, to make

yourself out to be a saint?

He followed Mathilda away from the fort, into the

dunes. She kept turning her head to look at him, wondering

what they were about, and Hurtado would say "No, no, a

little farther" each time.

Finally it was fully dark out, or as fully dark as

would get with a huge full moon hanging magically in the

still night sky. Hurtado stopped and looked back at the

fort, now just barely visible. "No sense getting lost," he

said. "This is far enough."

Mathilda seemed to understand him, and she awkwardly

lowered herself to the ground, bending first her front legs

and then the back, in the unusual way that camels have. Then

she looked at him expectantly.

Hurtado slowly unbuckled and lowered his breeches.

With a muttered prayer for his immortal soul, he kneeled

behind the camel. The smell was almost overpowering, a

tangy, musky stench that was a caricature of what a proper

woman should smell like. To his disgust, his prick had

sprung to life, bouncing firmly in front of him as he

shuffled forward. He poked at her ineffectually, unsure of

the exact location. Just when he despaired of bringing this

unspeakable act to completion, he tried a downward angle, and

he slid in easily, losing his balance and toppling forward

against Mathilda's warm haunches. She looked around at him,

her head swiveling comically on her long neck, and then

looked away.

He tried a few experimental thrusts. She was loose,

and rather dry. She was obviously no more attracted to him

than he was to her. He banged away half-heartedly, and then,

to his surprise, he felt her lubrication forming. With each

stroke she felt smoother and more slippery, and soon he was

picking up the pace and enjoying himself. The fragrant

camel juice continued to form, and soon it was flowing out of

her in a continuous stream, coating his prick, then his

balls, and then his legs. Before long he felt a surge of

pleasurable sensation in his loins, and his poor, aching

balls gave up their long-held seed.

He cleaned himself up as best he could and then he made

his way back to the fort, feeling almost cheerful. Now he

was one of them; he was even looking forward to some good-

natured teasing - after all, what was teasing but a sign of

affection? The months to come would certainly be more

pleasant, and pass more quickly, than the ones behind him.

He led Mathilda past the sentry and through the gate.

"Sir! You're back...what's wrong? Did you get lost?"

It was Dilantro, hurrying over with a look of concern.

"No, Major, everything went fine. Thank you."

"But...what happened?" Dilantro noticed the disheveled

appearance of his superior officer for the first time, the

strange stains on his breeches, and he wrinkled his nose at

the terrible smell.

"What happened? I go off into the dunes with the

camel, and you ask me what happened?" He was angry now,

raising his voice. Out of the corner of his eye he could see

some of the men looking at him with horror.

Dilantro had a formal, faraway look on his face now.

"I'm sorry, sir. But it's a two-hour camel ride to the

brothel on the other side of the ridge, two hours each way,

and you have only been gone for an hour."

And then Colonel Humberto Hurtado understood that the

months to come were going to be very long ones indeed.

The End, "Night of the Camel"

© 1997 by DG. All rights reserved.

Notes:

1) Yeah, I know, it's an old joke. But besides being very funny,

I always thought the joke had a certain pathos to it, even when

told in just a few sentences.

2) Please let me know what you thought of this story - my email address

is dionysian1@hotmail.com

3) All my stories are available from my web page:

http://baird.pair.com/dg.htm