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ISSUE 16 girls school Charlotte Whittaker was the

Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #16

February 10, 2002

Just a reminder on the rating system. Anything rated three stars or

better is recommended. I only give five stars to a few exceptional

stories every month. A two-star story will probably appeal to a niche

audience.

Everyone has different preferencs, so reading the text of the review

will tell you far more about the story than a simple one-to-five

rating sytsem.

Reviews are archived at http://www.asstr.org/~TaintedLime/.

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Stories reviewed in this issue:

Close Shave, by Tom Thumper (* * *)

ANAL ADVENTURES FOLLOWUP, by Heady (* *)

Devil's daughter , by RocketBlast_76 (* * *)

Early Morning Breakfast, by Jeff Zephyr (* * * *)

That Perfect Place Where All The Lines Meet, by Sam Cornell (* * * * *)

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{ASSM} Close Shave {Tom Thumper} (MFF)

By Tom Thumper <tom9211@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35125

Trent Gowan, a traveling salesman making a stop in a small town,

flirts with Tandy, the waitress at the town's diner. He tells her

he needs a haircut, and Tandy sends her over to see Brenda.

Brenda and Trent flirt extravagantly as Brenda shaves Trent's

head. Brenda then takes Trent into the back room reserved for her

special customers and continues shaving him, only this time, she

shaves him below the belt. As things are getting hot, the

waitress from the diner stops by, just to see how things are

going. You can probably guess what happens next.

There are embedded notes in this story where illustrations should

go, so I suppose there is a website somewhere that has an

illustrated version of this story on it. The story has a few

technical problems, but the writing is cleaner than most ASSM

stories.

The best part of this story is the over-the-top flirting. The

worst part of this story is the lack of plot. It's a very good

stroke story, though, especially if shaving is one of your kinks.

Rating: * * *

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{ASSM} ANAL ADVENTURES FOLLOWUP (RE: jmcfarland 3.21.98)

By Heady <headachesville@aol.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35126

I'm not quite sure what this story is. Based on the subject line,

it's a follow-up to some previous post. In this one, a woman puts

a double-headed dildo up the man's ass, and he puts the other end

in her ass, and then he works his dick into her pussy. Double-

fucking, as the story explains.

This is the first time I've read about this particular sexual

practice, so the story gets a point for originality. But there is

nothing else in this story. It's just seven short paragraphs with

very little explanation. It reads like a short section extracted

from a larger story.

Rating: * *

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{ASSM} Devil's daughter (mf, oral, vamp, religious imagery)

By RocketBlast_76 <RocketBlast_76@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35148

Stan picked up Cyla and is driving her to his place in his

Porsche Carerra. Cyla is a powerful force, way out of Stan's

league, but somehow Stan has lucked out. They get to Stan's house

and share a bottle of wine in a very erotic way. And then Cyla's

true nature comes to the forefront.

Based on the title and disclaimer, you know something ugly is

going to happen, so it's safe to assume that this is a horror

story.

My criticisms are minor, but there are several of them. There are

a couple point of view shifts that read like mistakes - the story
would be better if it stuck to Cyla's point of view or was more

evenly balanced between the two characters. I wasn't convinced

that a rich guy driving a Carerra would be as inexperienced with

women as the story sometimes implies. The story was also

abysmally spellchecked. I see a lot of grammar problems in ASSM

stories, but I rarely see so many spelling and typographic

errors.

But the story is interesting, Cyla is a fascinating character,

and the author does a good job building a sense of foreboding.

The sex has a creepy eroticism to it that fits nicely with the

story.

With a good edit job, this could be a very good story.

Rating: * * *

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{ASSM} One Fine Day -- #1 -- Early Morning Breakfast (MF oral rom cons)-by Jeff Zephyr

By Jeff Zephyr <jeffzeph@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35133

This is a short interlude about a couple who wake up early one

morning so they can have a leisurely ninety minutes to make love.

It's a very nice story with nice sex, although the plot is

insubstantial. The writing is very good, with only a few minor

typos and grammar mistakes.

I would put this story in the category of "flash fiction." It is

very short, and it does an admirable job setting a vivid scene in

just a few words. As a piece of flash fiction, though, it could

be tightened up more. Just one example from the opening:



'No! I don't need to get up until six today!' I thought in

dismay.

The "in dismay" is redundant in this sentence. And there are a

dozen or more similar loose sentences sprinkled throughout.

But I'm a big fan of this kind of writing, and it takes a lot of

skill to do it effectively. This is a very good effort.

Rating: * * * *

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{ASSM} That Perfect Place Where All The Lines Meet (FF) by Sam Cornell

By Sam Cornell <cornell525@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35134

Charlotte Whittaker - you remember her. She was the perfect girl
in high school. She was pretty. She was popular. She didn't

stoop to the games the other high school girls played. She was

nice. She played Viola in the school's production of Twelfth Night.

In their all girls school, Charlotte Whittaker was the girl Sam

had the hugest crush on.

Now, twelve years later, Sam and Charlotte stumble across one

another again. They get together to talk about how their lives

turned out, and Sam gets to relive a lot of awkward times as a

teenage girl who got to play Sebastian - opposite Charlotte - in

the school play.

Do you remember what it was like to be a gawky teenager? Your

self-doubts, your silly infatuations? This story makes those

feelings come alive. And while the explicit sex in this story is

over in just a few paragraphs, the high school crush of Sam's has

a sexual charge, a charge that permeates this story.

I have a few minor nits I could pick, but that would give you the

wrong idea. I loved this story. Stop whatever you're doing and

read it now.

Rating: * * * * *