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Journal Entry 00000 292 000 Days Before

Days Before

Journal Entry 292 / 00000

Mettare 00000

"You're showing signs of obsession," Fawn observed calmly.

"You mean, I've never shown signs of obsession before?" I asked, leaning

back in the leather armchair that dominated my office. "Fawn, if we're

right I'm going to spend most of eternity with plenty of company, but

today is my thirtieth birthday and I haven't seen another human face in

nearly four years. I'm lucky I haven't gone crazy."

"Your dedication to your self-proclaimed project is impressive. I don't

understand why you have a need now for company, and I don't understand

why you want this particular woman."

"One, because she's female. I would hardly get along so well with another

man, Fawn. Two, because if the legends are right she has exactly the

resources I need. And three, because I feel sorry for her. Is the last

one okay with you, miss AI? Abused, battered, raped and abandoned... you

think I'm not supposed to feel sorry for her? By the way, how's my

ancient Greek?"

Fawn paused. If she could sigh, I swear I would have heard one right then,

but Fawn is relatively bereft of sentimental emotions. "Your Greek is

fine. It had better be with the way I've been teaching you. I have the

location you want in all seven coordinates."

"Thank you, Fawn." I turned the chair around and headed down to the hanger

bay, where Fawn sat waiting in the Destiny. How she moved around like

that was beyond me; even more beyond me was why she moved at all. Just

hook a data coupling to her and she was happy; why she drew no power was

another of those things I had long ago decided not to question. She did

what I wanted.

Pendor! I could open up the skylights and watch it spinning, illuminated

by the only star in this tiny, pocket universe. According to Fawn, this

universe hadn't even existed until we came here; the introduction of four

photons moving at odd angles to one another defined the new space. With

the dumping of our G7 (previously G8) star here, the universe was now

expanding as a sphere, at three hundred thousand kilometers every second.

I don't even know where the word came from; everything else I made

a conscious effort to name but where the word 'Pendor' came from was

beyond me. As I passed through the observatory I looked out onto the

silently turning ring, complete with land, water, and air... and still

lifeless. And this mineral-heavy rock that my operational base sat on,

once a tectonically stable planet in its own right until Fawn and I

had mined it clean for its internal resources, slowly orbited the star

'Pin' inside the orbit of the ring. I couldn't help it; just looking

at it, only one-third complete but still an incredible achievement of

imagination and engineering, brought tears to my eyes.

The shuttlecraft 'Destiny' and it's sister ship 'Density' sat side-

by-side in the enclosed bay. I climbed into the first one and sat down

in the pilot's chair, taking a few moments to refamiliarize myself with

the controls. "Ready, Fawn."

The airlock opened slowly, and with a gentle turn of the auto-Z dial

we rose above the equally airless surface of Ops. "I'm ready for the

transition," Fawn announced.

"Then do it."

Like blinking my eyes, I was suddenly staring out the front viewport at a

sky full of stars. "Terra is to plus-x, minus-z. To your left and below,

in other words. As always, we have no telemetry," Fawn announced.

"Gotcha," I said. Banking with a slight roll, I looked down and located

the islands of what would someday be known as Greece. "Can you give me

an illustration of Ida on a map, Fawn?"

"Right there," Fawn announced. "Screen three."

I glanced up and over at the screen she indicated, looking at the map.

"Give me an approach to Ida then, and let's take her in."

"Approach plotted. How's that?"

I glanced at the display. "Perfect," I said. I rolled back to a planar

attitude and pitched forward, firing the engines. "We're going down."

Twenty minutes later the counter-gravitics were stirring up the water off

the coast of the island of Ida. Outside the window I could see the island

itself, a long, sloping hillock of bright green grass, slowly emerging

from the ocean. Further up the side of the hill I could see a treeline,

and then it seemed to drop out of sight. "Looks like the kind of place

I'd like to retire to someday," I joked. "Beautiful country, though."

Fawn scanned the horizon carefully, watching for ships, observers on the

island, anything. "We're looking for 'the caves off the rocky coast of

Ida,'" I said.

"That implies it might not actually be on Ida itself."

"I know," I growled. "Don't remind me."

"I have a geological construction that might be 'The Caves of Ida."

"I hear a 'but.'"

"You can't reach them without going for a swim."

"Break out the SCUBA gear," I chuckled. "That's not too hard."

"I'm powering up a drone in case you need help."

"I won't need help," I insisted. "What's the water like?"

"Seventy-four degrees Fahrenheit," she said. "Amazingly warm for this

clime."

"Would you recommend a wet suit?"

"Only the very lightest," Fawn replied. "Soft neoprene would be fine."

"Got it," I said, jumping into the back compartment. "Head as well?"

"Not important," Fawn replied. "And the visibility underwater seems to

be optimal."

"Lack of pollution," I said, pulling the jacket closed and zippering up.

"How close are we?"

"I've moved us to just at the opening of the caves and am about to set

us down on the water." An accompanying 'boom' acknowledged that we had

'landed.' "We don't have a moonpool, Ken, so I recommend you go out the

top hatch and jump in."

"What's the depth?"

"Where we are? Ten meters. No threatening life forms."

"Thank you," I said, stuffing some extra hardware into a waterproof pack

and sealing up. After assembling the tanks and regulator and assuring

that I had a good supply, I said, "Ready?"

"Be careful, Kennet."

"I'll be fine, Fawn. I'll be back before you know it. And I have my

telemetry and radio rig."

"You know I'll be watching."

"I know." I climbed up the ladder and up onto the slowly rocking roof

of the shuttlecraft. Looking around, first without my mask, I breathed

in the warm, clean air. "Terra, pristine and clear." I saw some birds

flying on the island nearby, and laughed. One thing we will never get

rid of, though, is the damned seagulls.

I gave beautiful Ida one last glance before jumping into the water. I

always see this bright red button in my imagination when I do things

like that, with a finger poised over it. The button is labeled 'COMMIT.'

The splash surrounded me and bubbles followed me down as I kicked and

regained control. Clearing my head, I looked around for the opening

of the caves Fawn had indicated. I could see for miles; visibility

was incredible.

After I found the opening, I eased myself into it. I started to feel

anxious; I knew of too many people who had died cavediving, running out

of air and slowly strangling to death. The idea made me shiver. I knew,

though, that if Fawn had the slightest idea I was in trouble she would

send an army of drones down here to blast their way to me and rescue me.

Flashlight in hand, I made my way through what seemed to be a deliberately

if roughly hewn passageway. After what seemed like forever (a glance at my

watch told me fifteen minutes), I started to notice more light around me.

I stopped for a minute, turning off the flashlight and waiting for my

eyes to adjust. After a while I felt secure enough to move on, making

my way on just the bioluminescence around me.

The light brightened appreciably after a moment, and I looked up. Through

the water I could see what looked like a dome of light, and I decided

that, if this wasn't the place, I had to at least be close. I surfaced.

A cliche', I mused, looking around. A small grotto, filled with air

and covered is glowing mosses. The air had a stale taste to it, and a

strange smell, like fresh bread. Except for the lack of a rock in the

center of the pool, this might have been the place Bilbo and Gollum had

their famous duel of riddles.

I took my mask, fins, and rig off and found a place for them on the shore.

Hopping up onto the beach strewn with black and grey stones, I looked

around, that odd bread smell nagging me. Then an old line from a song by

The Who ran through my mind, and I scrabbled for my radio. "Fawn," I said.

"Can you hear me?"

"Clearly," came her voice over the radio.

"I'm fine. I'm going to need you to send me the drone with a medical

support kit two, with as much glucose and water as you can possibly get

it to carry."

"On its way."

I hummed the song that had come to mind, "Cache', Cache'," looking for

my perspective target. She had to be here somewhere. "Waking up cold to

the smell of bread," I said aloud, still searching. I found her.

Comatose, I found her lying against a large boulder at the far end of

the pool from where I had come up. Her hair was matted and bedraggled;

insects crawled over her body. She wore a rotted tunic that barely covered

her shoulders and apparently reached down to cover her knees when she

stood. Even through the ruin, though, I could see what had once been a

very beautiful woman. I checked for heartbeat, pulse, breathing. There

was some. With my flashlight I checked her eyes; they still contracted

under contact from light. There was still a chance. A pool of water had

collected around her, and that worried me.

The drone erupted from the water in a sheaf of bubbles and a slight

spray. Behind it was a large bag filled with the medical supplies I

had requested.

"Fawn, will these things even work on her?"

"I have no idea," the AI replied.

"Great," I said. I tapped her arm at the elbow, trying to get a vein

to stand up. I felt relieved when I found one. Fitting the IV quickly,

I rigged the stand up overhead and began a fast drip of water and glucose

into her arm.

One of my medical teachers once told me that starvation and dehydration

were among her favorite things to treat, because, as she said, "You fit

an IV into their arm and they're up an running like nothing ever happened.

The family thinks it's a miracle."

My patient didn't come around so easily. I fretted over her for nearly an

hour, feeling better as her heartbeat appeared to get stronger, and her

eyes started moving again, albeit under their lids. "Sleep?" I asked Fawn.

"How should I know? Could you rig me some telemetry maybe?"

"Oh, sorry," I said.

"Don't bother," Fawn replied. "To accurately determine a sleep state

I'd need either visual confirmation or EEG, neither of which you have

the hardware for."

"If you say so."

"It's all I can say right now."

"Thanks," I said grumpily.

I waited further. At least I felt now that goddesses responded to

intravenous feeding. Or hoped they did. She did seem to be getting better,

a pink glow returning to her cheeks. She still seemed more pale than

was healthy.

It occurred to me that I hadn't even thought to question that the woman

before me was brilliantly Caucasian. Blond, loosely curled hair with

just a touch of golden-red to it framed a rounded face now made haggard

by her self-inflicted wasting.

I had my back to her, putting some of my gear away (I had recently

developed a bit of a neatness complex. I have no idea why.), when I

heard a small whimper, then a cough. I turned around quickly.

"Hey," I breathed. "Calm down. Everything is fine."

She coughed. I winced; that didn't sound good. "Who," she said, her

voice rasping, "Who are you?"

I smiled. "My name is Kennet."

She coughed again. "My arms... they hurt."

"I'm putting medicine into you."

She looked down. "That's... that's not possible yet."

I smiled. "You really do know medicine, don't you?"

"Feeding someone through their veins... we have no medicine for that.

Apollo said it was silly to teach me because nobody I knew would ever

be able to do that."

"Apollo, huh?" I said, grinning.

"You don't believe in the gods?" she asked, her voice cracking and

sometimes collapsing into a whisper.

"Let's just say I might be one, and having been one, I'm not impressed."

She watched me curiously. "Where are you from?" she asked. "How did you

find me?"

"Where I am from," I said softly, "Is difficult to say. I am from an

airless, waterless ball of rock that floats near another star. I am from

the future, and have not been born yet."

She looked at me with no comprehension. "You are a god."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I can't take that from you, Oenone."

"You do know my name, then."

I nodded. "I came looking for you."

"Why?" she asked, surprised.

"Oenone, I will not be born for two thousand years. One thousand years

from now, barbarians will come and destroy a library in Persia, a library

containing the greatest writings, the highest record of these islands

and their learnings. Your legends will burn, and only echoes of who you

are will reach my ears. You are mentioned only in the glossing, Oenone,

as the wife of Paris before he became important.

"Yet, enough of your story survives to tear my heart from my chest.

Oenone, I cannot undo the wrongs that have been done to you, but I want

to take you away from this world. I have a dream that I want you to help

me fulfill. I will be honest with you-- I want you there for your skills

and powers, I want to use you for my goal."

She looked away. "I cannot. Please..."

"Oenone, please. Let me convince you my goal is worthwhile. Let me show

how much I want you there. I..." I reached out to touch her cheek. "I

think you're very beautiful."

"Not so beautiful to hold him to me," she whispered. She looked up,

snarling, "If you want beauty, go seek Helen."

"Helen pales compared to you, Oenone. She is like mead; one cannot survive

on mead, no matter how light and sweet it may be. One requires real food.

Of all the women in Paris' life, who was true to him? You were. And

did he reward you? He spurned you, is responsible for Korythus' death,

and turned to you only because he needed you to heal him."

"That is no less than what you want. You said you need me. You want to

use me. Are you better than Paris again?"

"No," I said sadly. "I cannot be better than Paris. I cannot measure

up to the man Zeus called 'The most beautiful man in the world.' And

I cannot promise you what they call 'faithfulness' here, because that

won't be the faithfulness in my world."

She looked at me; the IV was doing its job well, because her eyes had

cleared and she looked me over with intent. "Tell me your dream."

I laid it out before her, weaving with words that sometimes had no meaning

to her, my entire dream of Pendor, of the people I wanted to live my

life with, of the peace I wanted to know. Of the difficulties. And of

the powers of a goddess who was born with the power to make the waters

do her bidding, and who had learned medicine and prophecy beyond those,

and of what she could do for me.

Talking like that makes me enthusiastic, rhapsodic. She looked up at me,

reaching up with a hand. "Kennet, you will take me away from this place?"

I kneeled down in front of her, brushing a lock of her hair away from

her face. "Oenone, daughter of Oenus, I will take you to a place where a

century of peace will let you forget Paris and Helen and Ida and Troy,

and when you again hear of Terra it will be millennia removed from

this age. Troy will be swallowed in a sea of sand, and teachers will

dig over those sands for their amusement."

She looked up. "Take me there."

"I warn you. The beginning is not going to be easy."

"I do not want easy. I do not want to die, and nothing here holds me to

life. Perhaps you will have something that does."

I smiled. "Thank you, Oenone. I can never repay you for your first simple

'Yes.'"

She scowled. "You will find a way. Where is your vessel?"

"Outside these caves. Come on." I gave the drone the medical bag, and we

followed it out, picking our way through the rocky passageway. Emerging

into the sunlight, I blinked, looking back and making sure that Oenone

was still following me. As I surfaced, blinking yet again, I spotted

the Destiny a few hundred meters away and began swimming for it. She

followed. The drone was already clambering up the ladder when I got

there, and Oenone followed close behind. "This is your vessel?" she

asked suspiciously.

"This is my ship, yes."

"It does not look much like a ship." She bobbed in the water, looking

healthier by the second. Maybe it was the sunlight.

"It is, trust me. Come on." I made my way up the ladder. At the top,

however, a pair of feet grabbed my attention. I looked up along the

legs attached to those feet, and finally took in the sight of a large,

powerful-seeming woman standing over me. "Come up, little godling. We

have something to discuss."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Come here first."

"I think you'd better do what she says, Ken," Fawn's voice came from an

external speaker. "She's got me pretty frozen."

Concerned about the kind of power that could 'freeze' Fawn, I made my

way up to the roof of the Destiny, as the woman made room for me. As

Oenone reached the top of the ladder, "Reah!"

"Oenone," the woman now identified as "Reah" acknowledged. "Are you well?"

"I am, Great Mother."

At least five centimeters taller than I, this woman with dark and curly

hair, her arms crossed in front of her, a long blue tunic flowing out

behind her without wind radiated such a sense of power that I felt myself

compelled to admit that maybe, just maybe, I was dealing with an honest

'god' of some sort. Or, at least, a power I didn't have at my beck and

call. "Now then, little godling, do you know who I am?"

I thought for a second, trying to remember who Reah was. "The Titan Reah,

mother of Zeus."

She smiled. "You are correct. You are threatening to take one of my

children offworld without her knowing the full import of her acts."

"Reah, she's going to die if I don't."

"Maybe that is her destiny."

"Really?" I said. "Is that what your prophecy says, Reah?" I pointed to

Oenone. "Is the skill you gave her so small you can't tell? That is your

particular skill, isn't it, Reah? Prophecy?"

"Do not meddle with me, Kennet Shardik. I have learned much about you

from your meddlesome clockwork."

I grinned. 'Clockwork' was anachronistic for Reah; she shouldn't have

known it as a word. 'Clocks' didn't exist in ancient Greece. "I asked

her to come of her own free will, and she does so with what knowledge

I have given her. Is that so wrong? Did I lie to her?"

"We are not meant for the stars."

"I've been there, Reah. I've been there and back. Oenone wishes to get

away from this little ball of rock. Mine is much less prettier right

now, but that will change with time. She can help me. Tell me, Reah, how

much of your pantheon is built on use? How much of life is built on how

'useful' Artemis is, or Eris, or yourself? Can't Oenone offer something

just as useful, just as beautiful, to my world and my people as you do

to yours?"

Reah seemed thoughtful. She looked over at Oenone, then crossed the deck

to lift Oenone's face up to look at her. Something passed between them,

but if I could find words to express it I would. It was simply ineffable.

Then she turned to me. "Kennet Shardik, I am warning you. I taught Oenone

one-third of her skills out of love. She is a child of mine. My grandson

abused her body, and a man my son admired abused her spirit and her love.

She has nothing that is unbruised. So listen, young godling. Your powers

are vast, vaster even then my whole pantheon, because they are backed

by your dream, a plan so audacious there is no mind in this era that

could hold it. I wish you good work, and I hope you find Oenone useful

to you and she find your ways useful to herself. But if you harm her

in any way, I will reach across the centuries and the stars to strangle

the life out of you with my own hands."

I gulped as the sun itself seemed to dim against her promise. Finally

I nodded. "I understand."

Her hand brushed my cheek, and my whole body lit up as if on fire. "Do

not be afraid. You are a good man, Kennet Shardik."

"I hope so, Reah."

"Go, both of you." I clambered down into the Destiny, Oenone following

behind me anxiously. "Close upper hatch," I said the moment she was clear.

"Closing. That was truly Reah!"

"Yes it was," I said. "Or at least, an amazing simulation. Let's get

out of here."

"I have full power."

"Hold on," I said. "We'll strap in. Oenone, sit in that chair." The

rather confused little nymph sat down in her chair timidly, looking

surprisingly fetching in what seemed a fully-healed state, but her dress

torn and tattered, exposing much of her body to my eyes.

I reached over to her and helped her buckle in. "Safety first," I said.

She smiled at me wanly. "Full power, Fawn."

The ship lifted nose-first from the water, and then with a powerful kick

we were skyborne. I looked over at Oenone. Her face was one of sheer

terror. "Celebren!" she gasped.

I grinned and paid attention to flying. "Transition in ten seconds,"

Fawn announced. I nodded as the countdown continued. When it reached

"now" the sky blanked and suddenly we were over Ops. "We're ready for

the landing," I announced.

"Copy," Fawn replied.

"Landing," I said. "Home again, home again, jiggety-jig." I laughed

softly as the shuttlecraft was once again pulled below the surface of

Ops and the doors closed over us.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's all so much!" Oenone said with a gleeful giggle as she dove into

the beautiful pool of waters that stretched out in front of us. "I do

not believe how much power I have had here!"

"Millions of years have been compressed for us by traveling forward,"

I said, sitting by the edge of the pool as she swam naked through the

waters. "You and I, we have only watched six years, Oenone, but for

Pendor, millions have slid by as Fawn has pulled us along, stopping as

I order to make sure that life is taking the path I most intend for it

to take. The azzies keep the process moving forward while culling those

lines that might compete eventually with my plans."

She swam over to me and folded her arms over the rock I sat upon,

holding her head out of the water. "Centaurs first?"

"I've already begun work on them," I said. "I've even chosen the field

where they will be released."

She frowned slightly and then disappeared under the water. Knowing full

well she could hear me, I said "Something wrong?"

"I do not want... visitors."

"They're not visitors. They're going to be my children, Oenone. They're

going to be the people I bring up into the world. Reah called me a

godling, and I'm going to prove her right. I'm going to create a life

where there was none."

She walked out of the pool and sat down next to me, her limpid curls

dripping with water. She touched my cheek gently, her fingers cool. "I

have had the most peaceful six years of my life here. I have been allowed

to be alone, and to be at peace. I have left my old life behind, Kennet,

and all for you."

"I couldn't have reached this," I said, gesturing around, "If you hadn't

been there at the start. The power you wield when nobody limits you is

unbelievable, I agree."

"That does not matter," she whispered. "I did as you asked, and you did

as I asked. There is no bargain between us anymore. I have no right to

ask you to cut your dream short because I like Pendor the way it is now,

alone, pristine, unmolested."

"And I won't do it anyway," I said firmly. "Forgive me for being

imperious, but on that I am adamant. You will not get me to give up the

gene tanks."

"I did not think so," she smiled. "Can you... Can I ask you a favor?"

"What?"

"Find me a place where I will not be bothered."

I nodded. "How about on Pandora?"

"Anywhere," she said. "On Pendor, Pandora... just, somewhere silent,

pleasant. I do not want to be here when the Centaurs are decanted. I

want to be far away, where I can forget."

"Do you want the library?"

She smiled. "Yes, I would like a copy of the library."

"You know what that means, don't you?"

"If ever an age comes when Pendor falls, I will have some responsibility

for putting it all back together again," she replied. "I am prepared

for that eventuality. And, I trust you, Kennet. Pendor will not fall."

"Is that hope or prophecy?"

"I will not say," she said, smiling at me, then diving back into

the water. I hauled out the little folding terminal I carried around

nowadays and waited for the connection to solidify. After a few minutes,

I located a clump of isolated islands on Pandora with good weather. I

ordered that the five nearest Shipping SDisks be removed from around

those islands, that one of the moderate-sized islands on the outskirts

of that clump be selected as a construction site, and that a robot team

head there the second one was free. I spent about an hour working up site

characteristics and construction, and when I was done I had something that

was more Roman in outlay, but I retained the Classic Greek construction,

as near as possible.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"You have pitched a tent?" she asked, looking at the unlikely construction

that reigned over much of the meadow. "And you have brought those awful

machines."

"They're sleeping," I said. "In a few days, the Centaur are going to

wake up under this shape. It's up to them what they do next; hopefully,

they'll learn that if they want to live in something other than this,

they'll have to build it themselves. Halloran will only teach them; they

will have to do with what they learn. That's why I built such powerful

curiosity into them."

"I came to thank you," she said.

"You're leaving, then?"

She nodded slowly. "I am going to my home on Pandora to stay this time. I

have learned, from you, that I have much to do with myself before I want

to face the world. I have hated enemies to forget, and to bury. And I

have to learn that I can never love you."

"Oenone!"

She shook her head. "No," she said. "Do not disagree with me, Kennet. I

can never possess you the way I want to. You are destined for different

loves and a different life." I listened intently. What she said next

angered me, though. "I was merely a tool to you, I know."

I reached out and seized her arm. "Listen to me, Oenone. I love you. Do

you understand that? I don't ever want to think of myself as someone who

just uses people and then throws them away. I love you. I can never give

you myself, alone; I am too much inclined to share, and too much life in

which to do all that sharing. But you've given me every reason to respect

and treasure you, and none to hate you. You're so incredibly beautiful

that I can understand Apollo's losing control of himself." I realized

what I had just said and released her arm, looking away. "I'm sorry."

Her hand touched my shoulder gently. "Kennet, if you were to ravish me,

I would cry your name with pleasure while it happened. It takes a strong

man to be what you are."

I turned and looked into her face. "Oenone, what kind of strength does

it take to admit that I'm a coward?"

"Coward?" she laughed. "Cowards do not confront cowardice, Ken. You are

an honorable and gentle man, Kennet." Her hand slipped down the front

of my shirt, and then I felt her warm breasts pressed against my back

through the soft flannel of my shirt. "I wish you would accept one night

with me before we go our separate ways."

"Destiny, here, now," I said. The small shuttlecraft appeared in front of

us. I turned, swept Oenone off her feet and boarded it. "Her place." The

shuttlecraft literally teleported itself until we were on the beach of

her home. The sun was brilliant outside, and I ran, still carrying her,

together into the sunlit Atrium with it's brilliantly clear and beautiful

pool of polished black-and-white marble and the tunnel leading out into

the ocean. Two dolphins swam back and forth casually, surprised by sudden

shouts of glee as two humans leapt in with them.

Oenone dissolved in my arms, only to reappear behind me, her body

pressed against mine in all the right places. "My liege, I do love thee,"

she whispered.

"My lady, I love you as well," I said, turning in her grasp to hold her

close and kiss her throat, the curve of her jaw, the pure paleness of

her cheek, and her bright red lips.

"You turned me into a full-fledged goddess," Oenone whispered. "I am

everything my grandfather was, and maybe even more. I can become a wave,

or a droplet, or a woman, or an eagle."

"And you turned me from an engineer into a father. How can I ever

forget that?"

She laughed. "You will never have to." As I tread water, she again

dissolved away. Damn, I hate when she does that; it's frightening. Then

she reappeared and dove under the water, head-first for my manhood, taking

it into her mouth and closing down. I gasped hard, unbelieving at the

warmth. She slid along the length of my erection, making me harder than

I had ever been in my life. I wanted to reach down and grab her hair,

but I was afraid she might drown. "Grab, then," her voice whispered in

my ear, and I laughed; as if I could drown the Goddess of the Oceans

of Pendor. I reached down and seized her hair, just holding her while

I felt her mouth work its magic about my erection, feeling her tongue

caressing my manhood and her teeth just lightly grazing the underside.

Her hair was silky between my fingers and I exercised my legs to stay

floating with my head above the water. Her hands grasped my buttocks, and

slowly her fingers crept closer to my anus, massaging it in tiny circles.

I objected a little; I didn't enjoy that kind of stimulation. But she

didn't stop, and I didn't want to press it as she just lightly massaged

around and around the tight ring of flesh. Surprisingly, it felt good. Her

hand slid down to play with my testicles, scratching along them, even

underwater, with her long fingernails.

She surfaced, and the rush of cold water around my thighs made whatever

gains in rigidity go away almost instantly. "Did you like?"

"Oh, Oenone," I said, swimming for the steps, "Come here and I'll show

you how much I liked it." She swam towards me in the more conventional

fashion, the way we humans are known to do. I grabbed her by the waist and

hauled her out of the water, spreading her legs with my hands. Her feet

dangled in the water, and her sex was splayed open for me. The flesh was

pink and full, covered in the lightest wisps of golden pubic hair that

hid nothing at all. I leaned down and kissed her mound softly, tasting

her full-fleshed outer lips as she moaned with bright passion. "Oh,

Gods, Kennet..."

I kissed her vulva, parting her open and tasting her juices that ran so

clear and fine only a goddess could have had them. I found her pleasure

center and licked her teasingly, licking at the thin, inner labia. She

wrapped her legs around my shoulders and pulled me close, wrapping

her fingers through my long hair, which I suppose would have been fair

if I could have breathed water just as easily as she had. As it was,

I was breathing through my nose and desperately hoping she didn't pull

to hard on my hair. Not that I objected too strongly to this.

Her legs unwrapped from around my shoulders and she sat up, slowly pushing

me back with one hand on my chest. "Kennet... please, love me. Like a

man and a woman should."

I smiled and stood up on the steps, my erection standing out fully in

front of me. I reached down and grabbed her buttocks with both hands. She

grabbed my shoulders and in one smooth move the two of us met, my manhood

plunging into her without a chance of mis-aim. We joined together at the

hip, she and I, as she wrapped her legs around my back. "I love you,"

I whispered.

"And I thee," she whispered back. We giggled gently as I began to stroke

within her. She pulled herself up on her arms, holding us close together

as we made love, our bodied pitching back and forth on the edge of her

water-filled home. The dolphins watched us with curiosity, and once,

when we paused, we both turned to look and splash at them.

I felt my urgency rise. I slowed down; I wanted this to last. It wasn't

fair to my Goddess if this all ended too soon. Her mouth was open and

pressed to my shoulder, dropping hot kisses along my arm. I gathered

her in my arms as I looked down, watching our joining, then glanced up

into her face. She smiled; I kissed her smile as I climaxed, moaning

against her mouth and tongue. With just as much passion she seemed to

moan a reply.

"Gods, Oenone," I said, leaning back and away from her. She smiled as

we slowly released each other so that she again lay on her back against

the cool marble of the poolside, and I slid out of her and into the cool

water. She slid in with me, her soft golden curls following her as she

shook her head.

"I love you, my lord," she whispered. "I understand you."

I smiled wide, unable to control it. Tears lifted in my eyes. "My Gods,

Oenone. Nobody understand me. Least of all myself."

"I understand you enough," she replied. I settled down onto the steps

leading into the pool and she settled herself into my warm lap. "I know

what you want, and I know you will never lie to me to get it. I have

never been able to ask that of anyone, and now that I understand that,

I know I shall want you to be my friend and my lord forever."

I wiped tears from my eyes as I held her closely; she touched my cheek,

taking a tear against her finger and into her mouth. "Sweet salt, without

which man would not exist," she said. Then she kissed my cheek. "Such

a man are you, Kennet. A hero to put even Odysseus to shame."

We dined that evening on cold, cracked crabs, hot soup, and tough brown

bread, drinking a dry mead and idling about a warm fire outside her home,

on the beach. I talked of my dreams again and of the life burgeoning in

the quiet amniotic tanks upon Pindam. We didn't talk very much; as alone

as Oenone said she wanted to be, she had also often sought me out for

companionship, complaining that Fawn and Halloran were boring beings. I

had laughed, Fawn had "Hmph'd," and Hal had remained silent. We had said

almost everything we could to each other; now her mere presence satisfied

me, wordless and lovely. These crabs, the bees that had made this mead,

could only have existed with both of our efforts. Power without thought

is chaos; thought without power is impotent. Without Oenone, I would

not have had the right kind of power, and the power I did have would

have been applied without thought. I owed her everything.

She took a stick of wood that she had held back and thrust it into the

campfire, lighting one end of it on fire, like a torch. Then with her

other hand she took mine and led me into her home. Looking back, I had

just enough time to watch the beach wash up much further than natural

one last time and wipe out our fire.

She led me into her bedroom, a room decorated in tapestries I had

had Halloran make for her, tapestries depicting her in fanciful and

beautiful settings, such as one of her nuzzling a unicorn, or another

of her leaning against her crookstaff. The tapestries and the rug warmed

a room covered in blue-veined white marble and open to the sky. Tonight

the weather promised to behave, although if it didn't the cover could be

drawn with a single string, or a word from the owner. Four slit windows

provided more ventilation.

One wall was less covered than the others; it had to make room for a

huge fireplace framed with black marble. Above it a tapestry that was

more a banner than anything else hung, depicting the symbol of Pendor,

an elliptical ring with an eight-pointed star in the center.

Oenone tossed her torch into the fireplace, and it lit; although the night

had not been very cool, she apparently felt a fire was necessary. Then

she pushed me towards the bed with one word. "Undress."

I complied, pulling off my shirt and disposing of my pants quickly. She

walked towards me, pulling my face up to look into her eyes. "My beloved

Kennet Shardik. Do you know how precious you are to me? If I never leave

this place in ten centuries, I want you to promise me you will visit me."

I felt a wave wash over me inside, looking into her beautiful face. "I

promise you, Oenone, I'll visit you. I don't know how often, but visit

you I will. If only to remember how special you are to me."

She smiled. "Stand," she said, "and remove my tunic."

I stood, slowly gathering her tunic about her waist. I pulled it up and

over her head, the silken blue cloth falling without a sound to the floor.

I glanced at her right bicep where a gold circlet wound three times

about her arm, and brushed my fingers along it gently. "You're far more

beautiful now then when I first met you."

"I was something of a waste when you found me, Kennet."

"I know," I replied, pressing my palms to her cheeks and cupping her

chin in my hands. I pulled her close to me and kissed her, her eyes

closing. We kissed passionately, lovingly; I pressed my tongue to her

lips and her tongue slithered out to touch mine, wrestling. We slowly

fell towards the bed; I lost my grip and we tumbled apart, both of us

laughing. She was quicker, straddling me first and looking down at me

with a light in her eyes. She slid forward until her sex hovered just

before my eyes, and then she parted her legs and lowered herself to

my mouth. I kissed at the insides of her thighs, tasting her sweetly

clean skin before turning my head to face her sex, digging deep between

her lips to take in the wetness dripping from her. I chuckled softly;

Water Goddesses should be wet, I supposed.

I pressed my chin against her perineum and licked at her clitoris with

my eyes open, looking up along the beautiful length of her body, between

her full breasts to see her staring down at me, her mouth smiling. "You

are so good at that."

I didn't answer, instead nibbling at her labia while trying, again without

success, to control my smile. It's not that I don't like smiling; it's

just that I had better uses at the moment for the muscles in my mouth

without my grinning like an idiot. Especially since Oenone could only

see the pleasure I was experiencing in my eyes. Her sex was flowing, and

I actually had to swallow her fluids, happily too. She cooed softly and

the cords in her legs became visible as tension mounted in her body. As

I licked her clitoris harder the orgasmic tension suddenly sprang from

her in loud, gasping moans, her head tossed back to shout "Kennet!" as

she came.

The spasms subsided and I let my head fall back to the pillow. "Oenone?" I

asked, looking up.

"I told you I would cry out your name with pleasure."

"But I'm not ravishing you," I said, smiling.

She reached down behind herself; I felt the tips of her fingers touch

my erection. "You are hard as coral, Ken. Why don't you?"

"You used a contraction," I said, suddenly distracted.

"I did?" she smiled.

I slipped out from underneath her; my feet had been dangling well off

the edge of the bed as I had licked her, and I easily found myself

standing again behind her kneeling form. Before she could turn around I

mischievously placed my hands against her shoulders and pushed her face

down onto the bed. "Whoops!" I said.

She gasped as we fell, and then giggled. "What are you going to do with

me, my lord?"

I seized an ankle and turned her over. She turned with me, and with

one hand on each ankle I pulled her legs apart, exposing her sex like

a glistening pink flower. "Ravish you," I said as I crawled onto the

bed and slid myself into her, my hips pressing down upon her spread

thighs. She opened her legs further.

I grabbed her wrists and pinned them down to the bed with my hands. "You

want to be ravished, Oenone?"

"Oh, Kennet," she gasped as I laid my violent hands upon her, plundering

her sex with my manhood. "Kennet!"

"Cry my name, Oenone," I growled, thrusting into her harder, pushing

deeper within her.

She gasped as I smiled down at her. "Ken," she breathed. "Ken!" she cried.

"Yes, Ken, please!"

I possessed her, my hands gripping her wrists tightly, holding her in

place, making demands of her that her body gave back willingly. Her

breasts heaved with every cry of my name, with every gasp of pleasure,

with every desire for more. Our earlier play in the pool rewarded me

now with a slowed response, and as I took her she took from me as well,

and when my climax struck me like a wall of water she still cried my

name as I screamed hers... and then I collapsed upon her.

"Oh, Ken," she gasped. I had somewhere released her wrists, and she

wrapped her arms around my back, slowly turning us onto our sides.

"Oenone," I murmured. I raised my hand and pushed a lock of hair away

from her face. "You are so beautiful."

She smiled. "You are still a man," she said. "You are tired."

"Food and lovemaking sort of have that effect on me."

"In that you are just like other men," she said, stroking my chest with

her fingers. "I do understand you."

"I'm glad someone does."

"Would you like to sleep now?"

I nodded. She smiled back, and almost instantly I was asleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

When dawn came I was still tucked quietly between the sheets of her bed;

the roof had been opened, and light streamed in from the sun coming

over the horizon. I turned slowly and looked, seeing Oenone sleeping

peacefully beside me. Looking around, I eased myself out of bed and,

stark naked, made my way to the beach where the Destiny lay parked. I

reached up into one of the cupboards and pulled out a clean and dry set

of clothing. "Good morning," Fawn said cheerily.

"Hiya, Fawn," I replied.

"Ken?" she asked quietly. The tone of her voice sent a chill up my spine.

"Yes, Fawn?"

"It's time for me to go. We agreed."

I closed my eyes and sighed, looking down at the clothes I was wearing.

Blue jeans, a flannel shirt of red and black checks, yellow leather boots

with yellow laces. I looked in the mirror; a little older, perhaps,

than I had looked ten years ago, even with the immortality sequences

installed. I was even unshaven. "When?"

"As soon as we can."

"Back to Pindam then." The Destiny was instantly back in Pindam, and

next to it and The Density lay an old Pontiac '84 station wagon. Fawn

transported herself into it while my back was turned.

I sighed, walking out to the station wagon and getting behind the steering

wheel. "I wonder if I remember how to drive one of these things."

"You don't have to," Fawn replied. "Ready?"

I cursed softly. "Yeah, I'm ready."

I blinked; we were again on the campus of the State University of New

York. "Morrow Hall is right over there," Fawn said. I nodded, looking

out the front windshield. "Campus doesn't open until tomorrow; someone

walking with a large trunk will hardly be noticed."

I got out, blinking up into the hot late-summer sun. young men and women

preparing for college milled about me. I slammed the car door shut,

walked around to the back and opened up the tailgate, pulling out the

large, black trunk. It was lighter than it should have been; more of

Fawn's doing. I walked across the poorly-tended grass to the whitewashed

building, trimmed in red. The second 'r' in 'Morrow' was tilted slightly,

as if it was about to fall off.

I stepped into the overhang and climbed the stairs, taking a right. A

young blond man held the door for me as I stepped through, and I thanked

him, remembering to speak current English. The first door on the left

had been mine. I knocked.

The face that answered the door made me smile. "Who is it?" he asked,

looking up at me. "Oh, my God..."

"Hello, Ken. Would you let me in?"

"Who are you?"

I bullied my way into his room and closed the door behind me. "Would

you believe, I might be you?"

The room was a disaster; four two-liter bottles of Coke, one half-drained,

another unopened, sat on his desk besides an ancient computer. Several

copies of Playboy lay strewn about the floor, and the place obviously

hadn't been swept in weeks. I knew if I opened up the closet his laundry

would physically assault me for interrupting its rise to sentience. And

on the bookshelf, in a cloth-bound three-ring notebook, I saw my dreams

and fantasies as they had once been a decade ago. He sat back on the

edge of his bed, unmade of course, and said "I might believe it."

"It doesn't matter what you believe, anyway," I said, smiling. "I've

come to give you something."

"What's that?"

"What's in the trunk," I said, pointing.

"Okay, so, what's in the trunk?"

"You'll find out in about ten minutes." I turned the knob on the door.

"Wait!"

"I can't," I replied. "I promised I wouldn't."

"But... but... I don't understand."

"Neither did I." I closed the door behind me. Quickly, I made my way

down the stairs. By the time I got to the bottom step I was running for

the car. I slid in behind the driver's column just in time to see him

running down the stairs. "Perfect timing," I replied.

The universe blinked out again, to be replaced by the inside of the

Pindam hanger, and then a soft "pooh" of sound told me that Fawn had

left my life... forever. She had promises to keep, but I didn't think

I would ever actually meet her again, not in this lifetime.

"Hello, Ken," Halloran said quietly as I closed the door to the station

wagon.

"Hello, Hal," I replied. "How's Paul Lewis coming?"

"He's ready for decanting right now."

"How long before dawn at the decanting site?"

"Four hours. Decanting will take five and a half, I estimate.

Consciousness would occur around seven hours from now."

I walked down to the lab control room where displays revealed the status

of the seventy-two surviving Centaurs. I let my eyes scan Paul's screen

carefully. "Begin the decanting process. Start with the serotonin levels

when you're ready to initialize the mentation processes."

I thought for a moment. "Hal?"

"Yes, Ken?"

"You have the entire Pendor zoological databank separated from your

processor-accessed memory, correct?"

"Yes?"

"Erase it."

"Excuse me?"

"Erase the Zoological Databank. And the geophysical, the geographical,

and the meteorological. Call all of the weather stations around the ring

sequentially; they're to operate independently until further notice, as

they were designed. This world is for other people; they should explore

it, and put the data in themselves. They are an AI's environment, not

the other way around. Do you copy?"

"It will take a while."

"Do it," I ordered. I sighed and sat back in the chair, waiting for Paul

to awaken, waiting for Halloran to tell me he was done.

His voice interrupted me. "Ken?"

"Yes, Hal?"

"I've found something you probably want to look at. It was at the end

of the erasure sequence, but it's marked to not be erased until you have

a look at it. It's creator, according to the rec, was Fawn."

"Display it, please."

The screen suspended from the ceiling on my right lit up. The message

was simple. "Once more into the breach, dear friend." I smiled. "Goodbye,

Fawn," I whispered at the screen, wondering if she meant herself or me by

saying "once more." And then I immersed myself in my work, my obsession.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales

are Copyright (c) 1989-2000 Elf Mathieu Sternberg. Distribution limited

to electronic media not-for-profit use only. All other rights are reserved

to the author.