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Journal Entry 01028 046 000 Decision to Go

Decision to Go

Journal Entry 046 / 01028

Noren, Nenim 21, 01028

The planet of Pera sat waiting for Helena, Morrail, and their students

to unlock secrets a thousand years old. Torrential rain beat a steady

roar upon the roof of a mission tent large enough to house eight graduate

students, two professors, one AI, and all their attendant equipment. It

gave Helena a feeling of home that she never felt quite on Pendor.

A thousand years. Such a short time. Helena had met people who had been

alive and who had walked and loved and lived a thousand years ago. Her

second daughter considered one so old to be a good friend. Nix himself,

although not so old, carried memories of his forbearing precedents

within him.

She walked out into the main grouping room, attached to one of the

two large exits from the tent, in which most of the crew tended to

congregate during the rainy part of the day and early evening. Most of

the good studying was accomplished just after dawn before the rain came

again. She found Chatenni and Shera poring over a large display of a

painting discovered in what they had assumed to be a room of religious

significance. Of course, with the Peran, everything probably had religious

experience. To many pre-tech peoples, everything was a sign from the gods.

"Excuse me," she said. She though of her voice as 'soft.' Yet since she

could remember, when she spoke people ceased talking to listen to her.

Chatenni and Shera stopped and turned. "Have either of you seen Morrail

or Nix?"

"Nix walked back into his room about four hours ago," Chatenni answered.

"And Professor Morrail left to look at the Doomsday Mural again about

two hours ago."

"Have you two been up all night again?"

Chatenni avoided the question. "The weather pattern changed to morning

rain, Professor Helena. It will hold at steady rain for at least the

next two days. Beyond that Nix couldn't say."

"He rarely can," Helena pointed out.

"Here it isn't a butterfly flapping its wings that can make the weather

change," said the familiar voice of the mission AI, "All it takes here

is a butterfly burp."

Helena turned at the voice and prepared to say something, but when she

looked at Nix her words failed her, to be replaced with, "Nix, what

is that?"

For the past month Nix had walked around in the body shapes of various

members of the local population who the forensics team had managed to

identify and catalogue, complete with accessory clothing and ritual items.

The people of Pera had been somewhat shorter than humans, but still

humanoid, with a wide-set pair of visual receptors that looked nothing

like human eyes, and with specialized articulated eating and breathing

organs such as it looked like they had two mouths. Their skin had been

colored in a bright red and black repeating pattern that disturbed the

eyes of those not used to seeing it. It was so utterly jarring with the

local green terrain that some paleobiologists assumed the Peran must have

poisonous. This didn't match much in the way of evolutionary theory;

a poisonous species has its competitive advantage. An unsatisfactory

arms-race explanation was being debated.

Today, instead, Nix had dressed as a 'taur, but of no species Helena knew.

His fur was a bright green and wavy in places. His feet were much larger

than that of a Ssphynx, ending in pads that seemed to cover a great deal

of ground. His thora was tall and wide, but his abdomen proportionally

shorter than that of a Ssphynx or Centaur. The rear muscles seemed

excessively heavy, as if for a high-gravity world. The head looked

more like that of a Vulpin than anything else, and most curiously two

delicate tendrils hovered over his shoulders, bobbing and weaving as he

walked. His walk was very animated.

He looked down at his thora. "This, Professor Helena, is a Ritachan. No,

excuse me, the proper word is Ritan."

"A what?"

"A Ritan. If you will consult your notes, you will discover that some

news has come in, as well as some specialized documents for you and

Morrail. An all-call has been sent out to everyone in the field who can

possibly be spared with an additional offer that you and Morrail lead

the expedition, if you can, to the planet of Ritacha, some three and a

half months away by Ohadi drive."

She dialed up the mail on her padd, consulting the details. "Oh, my."

"Yes, that was my initial reaction as well," Nix replied. "Ken Shardik is

leading this one. It's a technologically advanced race-- they apparently

had orbital spaceflight if nothing else. The people at Alpha have decided

to rebuild the species as a Pendorian race."

"Unlike the Pera," Helena grumbled.

"Yes, unlike the Pera," Nix acknowledged. "There are two reasons for it.

One, the Ritans are aesthetically compatible with the rest of the

Pendorian population--"

"As Ken sees it," Shera pointed out.

"Yes, as Ken sees it. That is his decision to make. The other is that

there are survivors."

"What?" Chatenni stood up.

"Yes. Three males."

Helena slapped her padd with her hand. "It says here the war was over

a millennia ago. How can there be survivors?"

"Cryogenics systems. Out of 256 Ritans frozen, it would seem that three

may be revivable."

"'Would seem'? May be'?"

"Yes. The starship Ille Pendoro is now on its way to Alpha with the

survivors still in cryogenics. The Pendoro is a small vessel unprepared

to pull people out of many centuries of cryogenics. They are headed back

at best possible speed, possibly burning core as they go."

"If they whitehole there's not much point to rescuing the survivors,"

Helena muttered. "What about our students?"

"They will be given credit for their current work. If any feels they

have a paper worth turning in, they may do so. They will likewise be

credited with any work they do on Ritacha."

"I need to ask Morrail. And we need a vote."

"I want to go," Chatenni interjected.

"Me, too!" Shera replied. Nix paused for a second. "You have positive

votes from everyone except Acole and Vaens. They can be reassigned to

the Kneb site, since their specialty is primitive cultures. The Ritans

are not in their specialty field at all."

"No," Helena agreed, not bothering to ask Nix how he got those results.

"If Morrail wants to go, we're going. If he doesn't--"

"We'll stay," Chatenni said. "I will. Either way I remain with the

Shigokais."

"We'll see what Morrail has to say first," Helena said as she pulled on

one of the bright yellow suits that rarely, if ever, actually managed

to keep out any rain. "Call me if there are any updates."

"Would you like me to accompany you?" Nix asked.

Helena shook her hand and waved him off. She didn't even look back to

make sure he wasn't following her. Despite the outward form he liked to

wear, she knew he always followed her.

Outside, waves of dark rain washed over the lush green overgrowth that

threatened to choke anything that stood still for too long. "Nix,"

she shouted, "Lights, please!"

A row of yellow lights came on to her right and she began following

them. They led down a beaten path and across a bridge her students

had constructed from two fallen logs and some canvas. Although she had

crossed it a dozen time, it intimidated her but it didn't stop her. Some

hundred meters beyond that, the lights broke into a clearing, the great

Square of Days.

She did not honestly know what the Pera who had lived here called it. Her

students had named it the Square of Days because it seemed to mark the

ritual of day-to-day living in its murals and reliefs, but nobody could

say much beyond that. They knew a great deal about this place, but not

enough to speak with any real authority. Although the square held an

archeologist's ransom in information about the people who had lived here,

all of the students came to view one image-- the Doomsday Mural.

The Mural lay in a great hallway built at ground-level around which

the Pera had crafted a great shell of a ziggurat, at the top of which

a solstice-marker had been built. They had measured it and found that

it marked the passing of the winter solstice and through it once a year

the sun would shine to mark that day.

But inside was another matter. A great bas-relief mural covered the

western wall, and on it they could read the end of the world. The mural

touched everyone who saw it and nobody could really say why. Images of

it had been passed to art historians and critics who had analyzed it in

every possible manner. Those who saw it proclaimed both its artistry and

its truth. And the very notion that those who saw it refused to believe

that it represented anything other than a true depiction of the end of

the world sent Helena's scientific mind into revolt.

"Morrail?"

"Here, Helena." His voice sounded soft, tired. "I can feel it, Helena.

I... It is so close to telling me what it means." On the left the

figures of warriors fought off demons with spears and swords. On the

right a curtain seemed to be pulling itself across the countryside and

under its influence the citizenry died in waves. In the center the great

city stood under a sun image, a god image, and a priest stood with his

hands buried within his own abdomen as if reaching in to tear himself

apart. Despite the imagery none of their students had found the merest

hint that this culture had ever practiced sacrifice of their own. Helena

could not look at the images without shuddering. It frightened her to

think that something as simple as a colored mural could reach into her

and make her believe. Yet, like everyone else she had no choice. Whether

it had been drawn before in a fevered imagination or after the battle in

frantic desperation nobody had figured out. Everyone remained convinced

that this mural depicted the end of these people. Given the dates gleaned

at this and other dig sites around the planet, this was as much as they

had to depict the end of all the people of Pera.

"I know, Morrail. I know." She touched his shoulder; he covered her hand

with his own. His whiskers twitched uncomfortably. "Have you been here

all night?"

"Again," he sighed. He pressed the palms of his hands to his forehead.

"Headache?"

"Small one. It's like... It's like it wants to talk to me but the language

it has is so different from mine that it can only jabber at me. It hurts

my brain." He gave it a glance, then turned to look up at his coimelin's

glittering eyes. "Worried about me, are you?"

"Yes," she admitted, "But that's not why I'm here. We're being asked to

pull off this assignment."

"What?" he protested softly. "I'm so close. I feel it."

"And so has everyone else who's stared at this place until their eyes

fell out, Morrail." She stroked the top of his head, tickling the space

between his very active ears. "Come, coimelin, listen." She sat down

next to him on the blanket he had spread out before the Mural. Around

him lay a large bottle of water, a sketchpad and charcoal with which

he had been rendering different interpretations of the scene, his PADD,

and his boots. She took a drink from the bottle, then took his hands in

hers. She began to speak, laying out for him the details of the mission

as Nix had described it to her. He listened attentively, then excitedly.

"A technological race with possible survivors? Yes, I want to go!" He

picked up the PADD and began reviewing the data she had mentioned, picking

up details as he went along. She watched him patiently for a few minutes,

taking in his excitement as she had for centuries. To her, he represented

the whole of the world, and she loved him for it. "But... what about

the students?"

"Acole and Vaens don't want to go so they're going to Kneb. The rest do.

The rest also said that if we stayed so would they. You want to go,

Morrail, so I guess we are going."

He nodded. "Finally. After so long. Back to a technological, possibly

even technocratic world!"

She smiled at his excitement, leaned over and kissed him. "You're so

cute when you're excited, love."

The tips of his ears reddened and his nose twitched. "You think I'm cute

no matter what I do."

"True," she murmured softly. "So, since this is our last morning on this

forsaken outpost, you want to commemorate our going?"

He knew exactly what she meant. "I'm not sure I have the strength,"

he said with a quiet smile. "I've been here for nearly seventeen hours."

"Come on," she said, stroking his whiskers that caused him to shudder

with pleasure, "I'm sure I can get the blood flowing, Morrail."

"I think you can at that, my love." He leaned over and touched her muzzle

with his own. She opened her mouth to receive him, and he opened his

to reach out and touch. As his soft and agile tongue pressed against

her teeth and finally touched her own tongue, Helena felt her love for

him wash over her. Although she was not so adventurous as her now-grown

children, she still felt the pleasures of the flesh keenly, especially

with Morrail. Recently, only with Morrail. There didn't seem to be a

need to have anyone else.

He tugged on the zipper of the yellow raincoat. Together, they tossed it

aside to reveal the common safari clothing the entire crew wore-- except

for their one 'taur, Chatenni who tended to wear kilts, although of the

same, grey cloth as the rest of their outfits. It matched the grey of

hers and Morrail's fur, but not much else. Morrail's fingers reached in,

between a pair of the buttons that held her shirt closed, and tugged. It

popped open easily. His hand ripped upwards, popping buttons as he went,

until her entire shirt lay open.

He murred appreciatively as she tossed her shirt with the rain coat,

then chuckled. "You know, I never have understood what it is about

pronounced mammae."

"That's because we don't have any," she said, touching his face with

her hand, tracing his muzzle with her fingertips. "What would I do with

them, anyway?"

"Seduce the young men of those species who appreciate them?" he suggested

with mischief.

"And then what? I seem to do just fine seducing those young men anyway. In

the meantime I'd have a weird center of gravity, I'd be unable to lie

on my stomach comfortably, and I'd have to bind them with support to

keep them from flopping around while I worked." She stroked her chest

with her other hand, feeling the small prominences of her nipples as

her hand moved over her fur. "No, I'm happier that Markal's don't have

breasts. Just teats."

"When you carried Jofuran you had them."

"Only a little. And that was for a good cause." She undid the buttons

on his shirt more carefully, undoing each clasp with a twist of her

fingers. That article joined the growing pile of clothes. He moaned with

satisfaction as she stroked the soft fur of his chest and belly. "You

work too hard."

"So do you," he pointed out. "It's the nature of the beast when you love

your work."

Her hand reached down to undo the clasp on his trousers. "Let me do that,"

he said, removing the rest of his clothes. She did the same, and less

than a minute later both were naked. Helena took the lead, pushing him

down to the blanket and covering his muzzle and neck in kisses.

"I'm glad you've got the strength to be assertive," he said.

She looked down at the mel she loved. "When we're done here you're going

straight to bed."

"On the Tor Minorr."

"No, in the Mission tent. We need at least that much time to pack

everything..." She ended her sentence with her open muzzle around the

sheath of his hardening cock. She heard his loud moan and knew she was

on the right track. She rarely sucked his cock, definitely not as often

as he liked. She nibbled around the furred sheath carefully as the shaft

emerged, then licked with delicate swipes at the exposed underside of his

penis. He lay on the blanket with his hips pumping slowly back and forth.

She knew Morrail well and she knew she had his attention now.

She opened her muzzle and took the head into her mouth completely.

Morrail's breath quickened as she allowed her flickering tongue to stray

about the tasty shaft, seeking out the small strip of flesh that ran down

the underside where his cock and his sheath were joined. She wanted him

hard and excited, but not yet to the stage of climax.

She turned around until she was almost on top of him, her hips next to

his head. He placed his hands on her buttocks to let her know she had

his attention, and slowly she lifted her leg. With a little maneuvering

she managed to get her legs straddling aside his head. Morrail indulged

himself immediately, licking her cunt, which was already opened with

wetness. His long tongue probed about her lips only briefly before

striking inwards for her clitoris, giving it as much attention as he

could steal from Helena's kissing and suckling.

Helena stopped just briefly, long enough to let Morrail play her all he

could. Then she descended again onto his cock, grasping the root of his

shaft with her hand and taking the length of his cock into her mouth. The

two of them lay there, locked in bliss, while the rain continued to beat

down outside.

Helena felt her body twinge. "More, Morrail," she begged slightly.

"Stop, then," he gasped. "I can't think when you're..."

She did stop. Laying her head on his thigh, she just grasped his hard

shaft in her hand, not moving, while his tongue rolled around her

clitoris, striking it only occasionally, giving her what she liked,

what she had liked for decades. Her belly tensed and released, tensed

and relaxed. She wanted to come. She couldn't control herself as the

whimpers came from a voice that might have been hers. She wanted to say

something, almost hated to feel so needful of him, when the pressure

became too much and she came with a blissful moan that she did nothing

to quiet. "Oh, Morrail..."

She rose from his muzzle and peered down at him. His eyes rolled, which

he only did when he was either very drunk or very tired. "You're so sweet,

Helena," he gasped.

"So are you." She straddled his hips, taking his still-hard cock and

easily slipping it into her. He closed his eyes and smiled. "Your turn."

"Thank you," he gasped. She felt his wondrous cock inside her, touching

her in ways nobody else's ever had. There was something about him that was

like the Mural. She couldn't understand it-- she just believed it. When

she pressed down on the shaft so much that she must have been stretching

the sheath uncomfortably he grimaced only a little but she felt his cock

touch her so deeply it was as if he had tickled her heart.

She placed her hands on the pillow, bent over slightly, looking down at

him. His eyes were closed and his mouth open-- if it weren't for his hands

slowly stroking her thighs, she might have almost believed he as asleep.

But as she pumped his cock in and out of her, she knew he was already

close to coming from the oral attention she had given him.

But with his body already so tired, there wasn't to be much of an orgasm.

She knew him that well. His breathing tensed, as did his hands, and

with a soft groan his cock throbbed within her, and she could feel the

wetness increase only a little.

And even as she dismounted his cock, he was already falling asleep. She

smiled and shook her head. "Morrail," she said. "You can't sleep." She

began packing up the supplies they had both brought. "Morrail, wake up."

"Tired," he moaned.

"Come on," she said, taking his hand. "Just a short walk back to the

tent."

He looked up, dazed. "Okay." They grabbed the blanket and walked out into

the rain. Morrail would need a towel to dry off when they got back. But

he had a smile on his face, and that made Helena happier.

"You know," he mumbled as the rain coursed down his furred head. He kept

blinking to get it out of his eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"I wish I'd brought a raincoat. Aside from that, though-- I felt something

while you were on top. As if making love in front of the Mural had

brought me a step closer to understanding it."

"Or maybe your brain's just so frayed you can't think straight."

He grinned. "That's possible too." He took her hand as she led him over

the canvas-and-logs bridge. "Back into space."

"And into a Nuclear Winter," she reminded him.

"Yeah," he said, his eyes lighting up. "But you're right. First--"

He yawned wide. "First, I need a nap."

"You need ten hours," she chuckled, patting his hand. "We'll see that

you get it, undisturbed."

"Thanks."

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The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales

are Copyright (c) 1989-2000 Elf Mathieu Sternberg. Distribution limited

to electronic media not-for-profit use only. All other rights are reserved

to the author.