AMATEUR XXX STORIES

ALPHABETICAL SEX STORY LISTINGS:

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z

LYMERIC young gal with dildo named

DIRTY LYMERICS.

All of these works were found by myself and contributors on bathroom stalls walls.

I'm not a pervert that hangs out at stalls. I don't look for glory holes, or anything

of the sort. I simply like the meter of the classic lymeric.

There Once Was A man From Nantucket

Who's Dick was so large he could suckit.

As he said with a grin,

as he wipped off his chin,

If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it.

---------------------------------

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Eating her nice hair pie,

He stuck in his thumb,

She said, "Are you dumb?,

Give me dick if you're ready to try!"

---------------------------------

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

Who had so many children and knew just what to do,

She took to the streets,

Trading blowjobs for eats,

now she's full, and her kids are too!

---------------------------------

There once was a girl from Great Britain,

With her boobs all the guys they were smitten,

She purchased a bra,

The lads stared in awe,

And said to her, "Babe, those won't fit in!"

---------------------------------

A young gal with a dildo, named Jill,

Climbed up to the top of a hill,

She laid in the grass,

And while it tickled her ass,

She slid the fake dick all the way in, though!

---------------------------------

There once was a man from Belize,

His pecker hung down to his knees,

The gals all adored it,

But him, he abhored it,

Because each time it stiffened, he sneezed!

---------------------------------

There once was a man from Kubot

who lived off of toe jam and snot,

when he had none of these,

he lived off the cheese,

from the tip of his grungy old cock.

---------------------------------

There once was a man named Dave,

who kept a dead whore in a cave,

she had only one tit,

and smelled worse than shit,

but think of the money Dave saved.

---------------------------------

Little Willie Winkle

with a thirst for gore

stapled his sister to the door,

"Now Willie", his mother said with humor quaint,

"Don't do that, you'll scratch the paint"

---------------------------------

There once was a man from Nantucket,

whose cock was so long he could suck it,

while licking his chin,

he said with a grin,

if my ear was a pussy I'd fuck it.

---------------------------------

There once was this guy called Mike,

who met this chick he really liked,

He tried to get near,

and she gave him a sneer,

cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.

---------------------------------

There once was a man from Kent,

whose cock was so long it bent,

to save himself trouble,

he put it in double,

and instead of cumming he went.

---------------------------------

There once was a woman from Timbuktu

who was still a virgin at twenty two

till her boyfriend came along

and pumped her all night long

now she's at home with a baby named lulu.

---------------------------------

There once was a man named Ken

who banged a girl in his den,

he knew something's wrong

when a wart grew on his shlong

and now he's in his den with Ben.

---------------------------------

There once was a man from York

who picked his nose with a fork

when it got stuck

he cried "I don't give a fuck"

and walked around looking like a dork.

---------------------------------

There once was a man from Peru

Who had a lot of growing up to do,

He'd ring a doorbell,

then run like hell,

Until the owner shot him with a .22

---------------------------------

There was a farting contest coming to town

and people came from miles around

the first fart was extremely loud

the second fart pleased the crowd

the third fart, the judges cried

"He shit his pants, he's disqualified!"

---------------------------------

I once knew a person named Burl

Whose looks would make you hurl

why do I say it?

I'm not full of shit

this thing was half boy and half girl.

---------------------------------

There once was a man from kanass

Who's nuts were made out of brass

in stormy weather

he'd clack them together

and lightning shot out of his ass

---------------------------------

There once was a security guard

Who had some troubles keeping it hard

He jerked it off nightly

And squeezed it tightly

while looking at his identification card.

---------------------------------

Gorgey Porgey puddin and Pie.

Jerked off in his girlfriends eye.

When her eye was good and shut,

Gorgey Fucked that one eyed slut.

---------------------------------

There once was a man from Peru

who fell asleep in a canoe

while dreaming of Venus

he played with his penis

and woke up all covered with goo

There was a young gypsy girl Rose

With obsessions for gentlemens' hose

Up her pussy, her rear,

In her mouth and each ear

And her cute little freckle-tipped nose.

There once was this guy named Stan

Who had some trouble being a man
He wore a dress and high heels

And drove a Chevrolet with pink wheels

And soon Stan became a tran

There was an old lady from Wheeling,

who had a funny feeling

she laid on her back,

and tickled her crack

and pissed all over the ceiling

There once was a man from Monclair

Who screwed his wife on the stair,

The banister broke,

He quickened his stroke

And finished her off in the air.

There once was this guy named Gored

Whose girlfriend was as flat as a board

He'd suck as hard as he could

And pulled them more then he should

But soon even Gored got bored.

Mary had a little sheep,

And with this sheep
She went to sleep.

The sheep turned out

To be a ram

And Mary had a little lamb!

There once was a man from Moline

who made a jack off machine

at thirty-two strokes

the cock sucker broke

and turned his balls into cream!

A sexy young maiden named Jill

Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill

They found her vagina
In North Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil

There once was a man from St.Paul

Who swore he had but one ball

Two dirty young bitches

Tore down his breeches

And found he had none at all.

There was a young man from St. Rose,

Whose love life was so full of woes,

He loved sixty-nine,

He'd do it all the time,

But always got shit on his nose.

There was an old hag named Van Cleef,

Who was constantly passing a queef.

One day while visiting the farm,

She passed one meaning no harm,

But killed the whole herd of beef.

There once was a man named Lou

Whose cum shots grew and grew

By the time they were done

He was having no fun

Because the world was covered with goo!