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Little mouse
Little Mouse {Redman} {MF sci-fi religion}
(c) December 2000
Comments welcomed at redman@seductive.com
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Redman/
Little Mouse
by Redman
My name is Simon and I am one of the Chosen of God.
There are not many of us. We are different from other
people. God has touched our minds, opening them to see
deeper into this reality. This heightened perception
is the mark of God on our lives.
It is the chosen ones whose minds have been opened
that are capable of receiving the gift. The gift
changes our bodies and our brains, making it possible
for us to experience God directly. The passing on of
the gift is the purpose of my life.
*****
I noticed her right off, of course, the little
that was checking out my groceries. She was trying to
pass for one of them. She was an ugly little thing and
tried hard to be uglier so no one would notice.
Probably quiet as a mouse, I'm sure. She couldn't have
many friends, not if she was trying to pass. Too many
secrets to keep, eh little sister?
But I could see the way her hands passed over the
items I had chosen. The food was nothing, only a few
lingering memories, mere shadows. But the rat poison,
that was very strong and it jolted her the moment she
touched it. I knew what she was seeing. He was a large
black and he was convulsing, his tongue and
black coming out of his mouth. If little were
sensitive enough, she would also feel the thoughts of
the woman who had fed it to him. It was her guilt that
was in the poison. No doubt she helped to make it in
some plant far away, but her guilt of how she killed
that stayed with the poison she made.
And little saw it too. That's how I knew for
sure. She was short with stringy brown hair and a very
plain, pale face. She looked away from the container
of poison and then wiped her hands on her dirty smock
as though to wipe away the unclean memories associated
with it. Her smock looked like she wiped her hands
often during the day. This must be a tough job for a
sister trying to pass -- handling so many items that
had been touched by so many people.
When she looked up at me, she saw the recognition in
my eyes. Oh yes, she was a sensitive one, though
apparently completely untrained. She blushed and, like
a little frightened mouse, looked around for a place
to bolt.
There was no one close enough to listen. "It's okay,
little sister. The is far away and long dead now.
He can't you and neither will I."
I tried to say it calmly, reassuringly, as I paid her
my money. Giving me change gave her something to do,
kept her hands busy and her mind away from panic. As
she counted out my change into my palm, I closed my
eyes and channeled the power through my fingers. As
she finished counting, a spark of God passed between
us, illuminating for just a moment our gift for her.
She gasped and caught her breath -- poor thing. It was
a strong thing for me to do, surrounded by them as we
were. I hadn't even thought about doing it, it was
just something that happened. I had no more control of
it than any other thing I was called to do.
While little tried to cope with the unexpected
overload of the spark, I finished sacking the
groceries. When I could tell she was almost recovered,
I wheeled my basket slowly out the door, making sure
she could still see me as I moved out into the parking
lot.
"Wait! Mister," I heard her call out loudly just in
case anyone wondered why she followed me. "You forgot
your receipt."
Of course I had forgotten it. How else could I get her
to follow me outside?
"Who are you?" she whispered harshly from five feet
away, wary of coming any closer.
"Just one of your brothers from afar, sister. One who
sees the same things you do."
"What things?" she asked testing me.
I took a step closer and tried to imagine what this
little untrained would be seeing as she tried
to live in their world, as she tried to pass for one
of them.
"When the wind is right," I began softly, "I see the
dead walking among them. I see their thoughts and
their memories on the things they've recently touched.
At times I see the way the world used to be and at
other times I see the way the world will soon be. In
short, little sister, I see whatever God reveals to me
just as you do."
She took a step back and there was fear in her eyes,
but also a little relief. What was she thinking all
this time, that she was crazy and all the things she
saw and felt were dementia?
"I have a gift for you, little sister. If you want to
know more, if you want to come to understand the
things you see, meet me back here at midnight. Once
you understand the ways of God, the things you see
can't you anymore."
"But ... but I'm a Christian!" she exclaimed louder
than she should -- as though that somehow denied
everything that she had ever seen or everything that
I had just said.
"So be a Christian, little sister. The gift and the
knowledge have nothing to do with that. Many of the
brothers and the sisters are. The gift of God that
I have to give you will not deny your Christ."
She was completely taken aback by that, as I knew she
would be. So many new ones associated the gift with
the concept of religion that it was a common error.
"Just be here at midnight, little sister. I'll show
you how to take away your fears. Now you'd better get
back in there. They might be missing their little
mouse."
Again she blushed, but turned and walked swiftly back
inside. Before she entered though, I saw her turn and
nod to me with a resolute expression. She had made up
her mind already. She would be here at midnight.
I ate and rested in the little motel room. It had been
more than two days since I had eaten, so my body was
hungry. I was glad that I had a chance to feed it
before I would have to show the little our
ways.
As I closed my eyes and lay back on the bed, I could
still feel the pull of the Journey leading me away,
but the urgency of it had eased somewhat. Perhaps I
would be allowed to stay a while longer here for the
sake of the sister. In any case, all would be revealed
later. I closed my eyes and almost immediately began
to dream of God.
I woke before midnight with time enough to clean up
and change clothes. I ate a small bit more and then
walked the few blocks to the parking lot. I had
arrived before her so I sat away from the parking lot
lights in the shadows and meditated on the near
future. I received a vague revelation that all would
be fine. There was some pain to be overcome, some
distrust. This was normal for such an encounter.
Because I had wandered much since I was chosen, I had
experienced many of these first encounters. God's
people are spread out everywhere. I don't know why or
for what purpose. We must act on what has been
revealed to us so far. To do less is to deny the
existence of God and that is impossibility for me.
Little pulled up in an old, beat up Plymouth
Duster. At first she looked around the parking lot,
but then she eventually saw me in the shadows on the
fringe. I saw her try to decide whether to pull out of
the floodlights in the parking lot and into the
shadows. It didn't matter to me. I had already seen
that we would not be interrupted. There was only one
other person in the parking lot with us and he was one
of the dead. He would not be bothering us.
She pulled a little closer and I stepped out into the
light, crossing to her passenger door. As she stopped
her car, I opened it and slid slowly into the seat,
moving carefully so as not to scare the little mouse.
"Thank you for coming, little sister. I know you'll be
glad that you did."
"I started not to come," she said warily. She didn't
try to hide the can of mace in her hand that was
pointed at me.
"I understand, little sister, but you really had no
choice. I can see that God has His finger on you and
we must all do His will."
"Do you know the will of God that you should speak of
it so freely? Does God talk with you directly?" she
asked harshly, yet with a little fear of what answer
she would receive.
"I only know what He chooses to reveal to me, little
sister. Once I pass along the gift to you, you'll
understand more of what I see and know. It will take a
while for you to assimilate the gift, but with
revelation comes clarity. Tonight at least, I can take
away your fears and give you direction."
"Look, I don't know you," she said, raising her voice
and holding the can between us. "I didn't say I wanted
any gift from you and I still don't know where you're
coming from."
"I understand, little sister, but I don't threaten
you. I would give my life willingly before I allowed
you to come to harm. I know that you have lived in
pain and fear, sister. Without the gift, we feel
separated from God. That is why I have been led here,
to share with you your inheritance. It's yours to take
or deny. No one will force it on you."
She looked at me, a scared ugly little mouse on the
outside. But even through the shadows in her car, I
could see into her heart. On the inside, she was just
a sweet, confused little who had lived through a
lot of pain so far. She deserved to know the truth.
She deserved to live without fear.
Eventually, the can wavered and lowered. "Use your
eyes on me, sister. In the past, you could see the
evil in people. If you looked closely, you could see
the violence and the fear in them. I know you don't
like to look. It's scary looking into someone's soul
and I'm sure you've seen enough evil that you've
learned how to shield it from your eyes by now. But,
look into mine. Use the eyes that God has given you to
see if there is any evil in me. You won't be by
what you see, I promise you."
I knew I was asking a lot of the little mouse. Looking
into the soul of a stranger is one of the scariest
things to do. There can be great evil there and if one
is not careful, the evil can overcome the one who
looks. Still, if she had the courage, it was the only
way for her to really see that I meant her no harm.
It's not easy to have your soul looked into, either.
Even now it makes me uncomfortable, and I've lived
longer with the gift than anyone I've ever met. I know
I only look like I'm in my third decade, but that was
only when the gift was shared with me. That was more
than one hundred and fifty years ago.
I couldn't help myself, but as she was looking into me
I caught a glimpse of her soul as well. Normally one
refrains unless one is invited, but little
didn't know the ways. As she was looking into me she
was exposing herself without realizing it. She was
full of fear and pain. I had seen people when they
come to receive revelation that had more pain than she
did, but not many. It had been a long time since I had
seen such fear.
But there was also courage and strength. But that goes
without saying. If she didn't have courage, her fear
would have overwhelmed her by now. Her fear and her
pain had made her stronger. And now, I had been sent
to help her.
Something in what she saw convinced her. Her arms fell
to her lap and she began to weep. They were the tears
of the exhausted. It was the sobbing of one who had
endured much, had struggled much all alone and finally
found out that they were not alone.
I gathered little into my arms and let her cry
against my chest. She blubbered most unflatteringly,
but it didn't matter. She was an ugly little thing on
the outside, but I had glimpsed her soul and seen that
she was one of the chosen. That made her beautiful;
that made her precious.
As I held her, I felt the sexual tension between us
start to mount. I was expecting it, but for her it
came as a shock. The hearts of the chosen are tuned in
such a way that our bodies and minds are instinctively
attracted toward one another. That's another way I had
known she was chosen. The attraction my body had felt
for this little mouse had told me so.
I could tell that she was no virgin. When I had
glimpsed her pain, I had seen that some of it came
from there. Without revelation, seeking love and
acceptance, she had reached out to those around her.
But they had been incapable of giving her what she
needed. Instead, she had received pain instead of
pleasure, rejection instead of acceptance.
I could feel her body starting to respond to mine as
I held her against me. I felt a little shiver run
through her back, whether that of pleasure or fear,
I couldn't tell. But then she turned her little chubby
face up at me and her eyes were glistening with her
tears and her mouth was slightly parted.
I bent down and kissed her gently, my tongue lightly
sliding into her mouth until it met her own. She had
sharp, crooked teeth in the front and I could tell
that she wasn't used to being kissed. She was such a
timid thing. Her tongue came forward, brushed mine,
and then drew back demurely. I stroked her face with
my hand, calming the little mouse that was inside her,
making her feel safe and loved.
When my hand started to unbutton her shirt, she
started to panic again. I put my hand on the inside
and rubbed her soft, round belly, calming her until
she was ready for me to unbutton her pants. She was so
fearful, so coy, but my composure and perseverance
overcame her fear.
I know she was feeling overwhelmed. Just being in
physical contact with another chosen one can be a
little overwhelming and I have had much experience.
Her little felt fat and swollen in my hand.
When I gently squeezed them she sighed deeply. The
nipples felt hard as diamonds against my palms. When
together we pulled down her pants, the interior of the
car flooded with the smell of her sex. I instinctively
reached down to finger her, but she shivered so
wonderfully that I knew she was too close to orgasm.
It would be better for her to wait until she received
the gift.
I pulled down my own trousers and her soft hand
immediately went to my penis. It's slender and a
little longer than most, but size is such a minor
thing to us. She smiled when she saw it; it was not
intimidating to her at all. I could see behind the shy
smile that someone with a large penis had her
very badly. Soon, little sister. Soon all the
will be gone.
She wiggled her chubby bottom closer to me and lay
back with her head almost hitting the steering wheel.
It's a good thing the Duster didn't have bucket seats
because the back seat was even smaller.
As I lined myself up between her legs, I looked down
into little sister's eyes. She was overcome with lust,
the power of it coursing through her veins. It was
almost a shame that she seemed oblivious to the coming
of the gift. I wanted to shake her and make her see
what was about to happen, but I knew this was our way.
God gives us this lust because the reality can be so
overwhelming. The reality of the gift.
As my penis slid into little sister, I saw her body
shake with the physical sensation of pleasure. But as
our bellies came together, I felt the gift stir within
me. The tendrils came out through my navel, weaving
and dancing as they stroked her bellybutton,
anesthetizing it with the enzymes for insertion. I saw
her eyes fly open as the pressure of the penetration
of the tendrils increased until they had broken
through, then again as they began to fill her body
cavity, seeking her spinal cord.
Little tried to struggle just a bit, but it was
of no use. I held her in my arms and tried to calm
her. As the tendrils reached her spine and began to
fuse us together, I saw in her eyes the recognition of
one self being confronted with another in perfect
intimacy.
This is the gift of God that I have to give. When one
of the chosen has the gift, the tendrils can connect
two separate beings until they can experience each
other directly. It is in the sharing of each other
that we experience God directly. The gift ties our
central nervous systems together until we can
experience each other's identity in perfect intimacy.
Perfect intimacy requires perfect communication and
such is the nature of the gift.
When the tendrils from my body linked my spinal column
with hers, our brains quit processing sensory
perceptions for a time. Through the gift our thoughts
became synchronized and suddenly we were in direct
connection, her identity to mine. I began
instinctively battering down the barriers of fear and
mistrust that her psyche threw up. I flooded through
the memories of pain and loneliness. I raced towards
the core of her being, towards the place in the center
of her mind where even she feared to go. As I flooded
into her, for a moment in time, we fused together.
Little and I became one, united in perfect
intimacy. There, at the core of her being, we became
I and together I confronted God.
*****
I came back to my senses before she did. The tendrils
had retracted and I looked at her navel. The narrow
slits cut by the tendrils were healing quickly thanks
to the enzymes, and there was very little blood.
I pulled myself off of her body and mopped up our
orgasmic fluids from my penis and from her with
a cloth that I had brought for this purpose.
Integration always causes the body to respond in
orgasm. It's one of the many things that helps to
bring unity and resolution to the coupling of the
chosen.
I knew the gift was even now growing in her belly.
Soon she would have her own tendrils. By the time I
leave, she will be able to experience my thoughts as
directly as I had experienced hers. She will know what
it's like to live as I have lived and will see every
encounter that I have had with all our sisters and
through them all our brothers as well.
We are the chosen who have confronted God, and now she
was truly one of us.