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NONONO hurt lot even through the

Keywords: rp, satire

Author: W R Jenkins

Title: Please! Plaease! No No

Please, Please--No No!

Disclaimer: I don't think this is arousing. I am

shocked and saddened that things like this occur. I

don't think any normal person will be aroused by

this. It is only a record of the sometimes terrible

ordeals that have to be endured in this world.

Marcie R.- I may have had a little too much to drink at the frat

party. It seems like drinking to excess is the point of those parties and

there is always a frat brother handing you more alcohol. I was a little

woozy when I stumbled down the steps to go back to the dorm.

I was feeling pretty good, besides being drunk, no one had

seriously tried to rush me up to their room and I had had a good time. I

decided to take 'Endless Alley' back to the dorm since I wouldn't have

to stumble as far to get home. I had heard the stories, but my fear level

was way down in my drunken state.

And I found out the stories are true. I had stumbled over to puke

in a dumpster when I was grabbed from behind. I don't think it was a

college kid because he was too practiced.

"Listen, missy, don't struggle and you won't get hurt," he rasped

in a hard-to-identify whisper.

He pushed me to my knees and then used one hand between my

shoulderblades to pin me to the ground as he ripped off my underwear.

He never let me turn around and I never even saw his face.

He wrapped a forearm around my neck and bent over my back

to push his penis in me and then he fucked me brutally. I think he

sensed I was in no condition to struggle, because he let up on me with

his arm a little. But he must have just been disappointed at my

passivity.

I finally did puke as he raped me and he jerked his arm out of

my way and pushed me down into my own vomit. Then he decided he

had found a way to make me fight him.

"You like that, don't you? I can tell you're a hot momma," he

whispered and I felt him leave my vagina.

He got his struggle when he pushed his member against my

anus. I didn't let anyone dishonor me that way. I didn't think I'd like it

and I didn't. It hurt a lot even through the haze of alcohol and I felt

shamed, dirty, used. I begged and fought, but he was too strong and he

pushed it in and hurt me I could feel the tearing and the blazing pain,

but I couldn't do anything but cry.

His final insult came when he finished, just before he sprang up

and ran off.

"Hey babe- you're great. I'd like to see you again," he rasped.

I sobbed for a while before I pulled up my torn underwear and

dragged my torn body to my feet. I wasn't drunk anymore. The terror of

the rape had sobered me right up. But I was raped once more that night.

When I went to the school nurse, she looked at my vomit-stained blouse

and puffy face and frowned.

She treated me like I was the bad guy instead of the victim. She

tried to get me to admit I had gone too far with a frat boy and now was

trying to recover my reputation by crying rape. She implied I was too

drunk to know what really happened and then told me she didn't have

any way to tell if I'd been raped, anyway. I'd have to take the bus into

town- they only ran hourly this time of night- and go to a hospital if I

was going to persist in this course of action. And she warned me how

much trouble I could get in by making a false report.

After that second rape of the night, I was too humiliated to go

on. I went back to the dorm, took off my blood-stained, semen-smeared

clothes and just sat in the shower crying.

(Sad isn't it?)

Cheryl S.- I'm not scared anymore. I'm mad now. I hope I meet

that son of a bitch again so I can jab his eyes out! I'm not saying what,

but I've taken the responsibility for protecting myself now.

Not that I did anything wrong. I followed all the guidelines

except have someone walk me to my car. I had parked in that lot the

three years I'd been working at ####### and this was the first trouble I

heard of.

I didn't have time to do anything when he ripped open the door

of my car. I didn't have time to turn and see his face before he hit me.

Before I could recover, he had pulled some kind of cloth sack over my

head and was tying my hands behind me. He pushed me into the

passenger seat and got in and drove off.

I tried to turn so I could kick him, but he hit me again and told

me to lie still. I figured I was dead. He was going to take me to some

abandoned site and kill me. They tell you that losing control of your

bladder can sometimes repel a rapist, but it was the fear that made me

wet my pants.

He thought it was funny when he pulled me out of the car and

discovered that I had peed myself. I never found my urine-soaked

underwear, so I guess he kept them as a trophy.

But just as bad as the rape was his attitude.

You like that, don't you? I bet you're hot now. That's good isn't

it? You want it don't you? He kept growling in my ear as he pushed me

up against me car and raped me.

He wasn't very big and he wasn't as brutal as I feared but when I

thought I felt him ejaculate I was suddenly overcome with the fear he'd

make me pregnant.

It didn't take long, though it seemed like hours when it was

happening. Then he hit me again and pushed me to the ground. When I

heard my car drive off, I started to cry.

It must have taken me half an hour to get out of the ropes, but it

didn't take long then to flag down a police car. They took me back to

the scene to look around and retrieved the ropes and bag and then

whisked me to the hospital. They weren't real supportive, but at least

they didn't make any bad jokes.

They haven't caught him, but if I see him, they won't have much

left to prosecute.

(What a trial it must have been.)

Deidre T.- He made me move back home. Even here I panic

when I hear a strange noise. He took more than sex- he took my life

away from me.

The cops said he had forced a window in my apartment and

'gained entry' that way. He gained entry into me by surprising me while

I was asleep. I woke up with this man in a stocking mask already

crouched over my body. All he had to do was sit on my thighs and use

his weight to hold down my arms to make me helpless.

I asked him what he wanted, what he was doing. I told him

where my valuables were and I begged for him to let me go, but he

didn't say anything. He just pulled my arms together where he could

hold them with one hand and reached down to open his pants.

I remember his penis looked huge- and angry. Then he put his

weight on my arms and slid his legs between mine. I couldn't hold them

together against his weight and he forced them open and got himself to

the opening of my vagina.

The thing I remember most was the silence. My sobs were the

only sound as he thrust inside of me and took me. He took me and took

me and took me- it was more like he was stabbing me over and over

than fucking. They say he didn't even ejaculate. He just raped me and

stopped when he grew tired of the sport.

When he got up he said the only words that passed between us.

"You lie there and don't move, or I'll hurt you bad."

I waited for half an hour by my alarm clock and then called the

police. The hospital told me there was no semen, but I guess I was

'lucky' that there was bruising and vaginal tearing consistent with rape.

They say this guy has raped about a dozen others.

(My, how upsetting.)

Rachel Y.- It was RAPE. I don't care about gray areas, or

where you draw the line. I said no and they didn't stop. I was honest

about everything- even when the truth was embarrassing. I don't care if

it's a tough call. Make the call, I was RAPED.

I admitted that I went to the motel to have sex. I admitted that it

was consensual sex with Randy at first. I admitted that I agreed to have

sex with Billy too. I didn't really agree to have sex with Seth, but that

wasn't when I said no. I kinda felt sorry for him and I decided not to

make an issue of it when he jumped on me when Billy was done.

But when the other three showed up, I said NO. Randy tried to

convince me it would be great, but I said NO. All of them tried to make

it seem like it would be a great party and I would be like a queen with a

harem, but I said NO. They showed me their dicks and told me I could

choose them and the rest would just watch, but I said NO.

Then Randy said, "She gets this way sometimes, she DOESN'T

MEAN IT."

But I meant NO. I said NO. And I kept saying NO NO NO NO

NO as Randy held me down and they lined up to rape me. They had to

hold my legs too. But there were six of them and all I could do was say

no. I think Billy got seconds because I remember four guys fucking me

one after the other. And they didn't let me up even when they were done

the first time. I would have run outside naked to get away at that point.

Then they turned me over and somebody sat on my head as

Randy butt-fucked me.

He told them I liked it, despite my muffled screams as he raped my

virgin butthole. Two more took me that way and then they let me up.

Everyone but Randy cleared out and he only stayed to try to

talk me into accepting what happened. But he saw I was too mad to

talk to and left, too. I was still mad when I went to the cops, but they

cooperated like shit. Come on, they said, you knew what you went

there for, that's not rape.

I knew what I went for, but it wasn't what I got. I got RAPED.

And I want some justice!

(Glad to see you're surviving.)

Sherry L.- It was so much like a movie. A guy grabs my hand

as I walk down the street and pulls me into an alley. The other hand is

holding a gun which he holds to his lips like a finger to tell me to be

quiet. He motions me behind the dumpster, puts the gun to my head

and motions for me to undress.

It's remarkable what a gun to your head will make you do, even

if it seems like a movie. I started to undress. He kept motioning until I

had taken off blouse, skirt, bra, pantyhose and panties. I was trying to

cover myself without being obvious and that must have been a sight.

I'm telling you that a gun to your head puts you in another state

of mind. He didn't care what I was doing, he just pushed me to my

knees and opened his pants. I knew I couldn't afford to bite him. He

knew I wouldn't dare. Even someone with no intention of hurting me

would probably shoot me if I bit his penis.

I did what he wanted, and he seemed to like it. Then he pushed

me down on my back and got over me. He put the gun under my jaw

and squeezed my breasts a little before he put it in. He seemed to enjoy

watching me squirm more than actually fucking me. He scared me near

to death twice, pushing the gun up under my jaw hard. Then right after

the second time he came, I guess.

Then he did a weird thing. He made me get dressed. He held

the gun on me as I put my clothes back on. Then he told me to face the

wall and disappeared.

Do about it? Who would believe that story? He didn't hurt me

much so I chalked it up to experience. Anyway, if I had to be raped, it

couldn't have been much easier on me and it could have been a lot

worse.

(What a trooper)

Gail E.- I hope I'm not wasting your time. I'm not sure I was

raped- legally and all. I'm not sure I'm even that pissed about it. But I

did get fucked by a guy that didn't ask me and that I wasn't planning on

fucking.

The thing was that I was planning on getting fucked and I put

myself in the situation. Okay, I'll stop pussyfooting. I let my boyfriend

tie me up. Chain me up, I guess. And when I was leaning there,

helpless, he had another guy fuck me. I guess it wasn't like a rape at all

because it seemed like he was trying to make me cum, too, but it wasn't

the guy I was planning on fucking. I don't know?

(What an terrible ordeal!)

Ruth W.- I'm lucky to be alive. It was almost an accident that I

wasn't hurt badly, according to how you regard my reproductive ability.

There were three of them and they liked to knock me around. They

liked to hurt me in general as my hysterectomy scar will always remind

me.

They jumped me coming out of a bar and drove me off in the

back of a pickup truck. The two in the back were all over me and I

think the third guy stopped the truck just because he didn't want them to

get anything he wasn't getting.

They raped me in the back of the truck- six hands grabbing and

pinching me and I don't think any of them entered me with out slapping

me or punching me in the face first. They were cheering each other on

and talking about me like I was a piece of meat as they groped me

while waiting their turns.

Every one of them tried to outdo the other making me scream

by fucking me with increasing brutality. By the time they rolled me

over it was a relief to be anally raped for a change. My asshole stood

up to the brutal rape better than my vagina.

When they were done, the same guy took off in the truck and

the others threw me off the back. The accident was that I fell into a

evergreen and it cushioned my impact. The doctor said that if I had hit

the ground, I probably would have been in a body cast for months- if

not a body bag.

They had damaged my vagina, uterus and an ovary, however.

The doctor said it was unlikely that I could have children now and that

the hysterectomy would be the best way correct the damage and

eliminate a risk of necrosis or infection.

Everybody thinks they know who did it, but 12 different people

have named 26 probable suspects. The cops have nothing to go on.

(Your story certainly isn't a pick-me-up)

Beth M. - If I said I felt sorry for the little twerp, I'd be lying.

But he is pathetic.

First off, he got caught. They say that's rare- at least until a rapist has

racked up quite a number of victims. And he is so lame, it's no wonder

he'd have to rape someone to get any.

But he was acting like a big man- a little ugly, pimply-faced big

man- when he was waving that gun at me.

He came in my convenience store late and stuck the gun in my

face. People get shot in hold ups all the time around here, so I listened

to what he said real close. He took me in the storeroom and told me he

was going to "fuck me good".

He made me lay down, pushed up my skirt and pulled off my

underwear, but when he tried to enter me he couldn't maintain his

erection. He told me that was my fault for being "too ugly to fuck". He

made me kneel and ripped open my uniform top and then rubbed his

limp penis on my breasts. He never took off my bra, he just rubbed

himself on the top part of my breasts, calling me names.

I think he was more interested in saying the things he said than

in having sex. He even passed on oral sex, but I think he was afraid to

put it in my mouth. He told me to "suck my Johnson" and then yanked

it back saying, "you'd like that too much you man-eating whore". He

finally jerked off on my chest, calling me filthy things. Then he told me

to stay there and ran out.

It took the cops two days to get him in custody and the first day

was half over when they got the copies of the tapes from the store

cameras. Lame.

(At least you're coming through it)

Lisa D.- I guess I've got the real rape story. My lawyer says she

sees it more and more, though not to the extent I suffered. I was raped

by my ex-lover when I still thought he was my lover. It may resemble

date rape, but let me tell you it's much, much worse when the man is

someone you've been with for a while.

We'll call him Sam because the trial is still on the docket. Sam

took me off for a romantic little weekend in the Adirondacks to a cabin

of a friend. It started out so wonderful and then it turned so bad. We

had a romantic evening beside the fire on Friday and then a long walk

in the woods Saturday morning.

I was a little hesitant when Sam asked to tie me to the bed, but

he asked if I didn't trust him and promised that it would be so very,

very exciting for me. It was something, but I didn't realize rage was the

kind of excitement he meant.

When he was sure I couldn't escape, he started in on me. I'm not

saying he got nasty- at least not right off- he just started doing whatever

he wanted to do and began ignoring me. He finished with me once- I

had not enjoyed it at all- and then he left me there. I was still thinking it

was a bad experiment when I asked him to let me up.

He laughed and said I hadn't given it a chance. I was supposed

to lay there and get hot for the next time- that's how it worked. I

insisted and he told me I'd be happier if I played the game. I shut up

because I figured he'd let me up quicker if I went along with him.

I guess it was about twenty minutes until he was back and had

sex with me again. I still got nothing out of it. I told him that and

demanded that he untie me now. Then he got nasty. He told me it was

my fault. I hadn't given it a chance. I had decided it wouldn't be fun and

now I was trying to ruin it for him. I was a ballbuster and a selfish cunt

(I hate that word) and he was sick of always doing things my way.

I forgot my position and started yelling back and we had a

terrible fight. I guess he figured we were through about then. I know he

just started laughing at me and asking me what I was going to do about

it.

Then he raped me with the broom handle. He said if I couldn't

climax with him, maybe I would like something that would never get

soft. He hurt me with that thing for at least twenty minutes, asking me

the whole time if I was getting off yet. I guess that got him hot, because

he followed the broom by having sex with me again.

I think he was scared after that. I saw a look of concern on his

face when he saw the pool of blood that had leaked on the sheets

between my thighs. I don't think he knew what to do. That made me

afraid. Maybe he was thinking he could say we had a fight and I left

and he didn't know where I went. I realized it would be easy for him to

kill me in my position.

Maybe my fear jolted him back to reality because he mumbled

some stuff about how I had asked for it and untied one of my hands. He

was gone when I had gotten myself extricated from the ropes and put

some clothes on.

The more I thought about it, the madder I got. I went to him

first, but he said he was through with me. Maybe he did lose his

temper, but I was screaming as loud as he was. It wasn't going to work

out and I should leave him alone.

My attorney says the problems with the rape charge are that I

didn't immediately report it and let the authorities gather evidence and

that it is my word against his that the sex wasn't consensual. She thinks

using the broom handle is a point in my favor, however.

(We hope you sweep up, girlfriend)

Carey H.- I guess I was at the same frat party as Marcie R. and

I guess I was lucky, relatively speaking. I don't think the frat boys tried

to rush me up the stairs seriously, either, but I ended up there. The

problem is that I have gaps in my memory you could drive a truck

through. And that's an interesting turn of phrase. Because when I woke

up I felt like a gap someone had driven a truck through.

I didn't remember and I still don't, but since I've found an aid to

fill in the gaps. I was at another school for pervert's night at a brother

frat and they had a tape they called 'gang bang'. Now I think gang bang

tapes are boring, even more boring than most sex tapes because its the

same thing over and over. This tape was even worse than normal

because the girl didn't even move. But I found one thing strangely

fascinating- the girl was me.

I had my date ask the guys about the tape and if he could get a

copy. They ran him off one and said they had indeed gotten the tape

from my school's chapter. I guess I look better conscious, because

nobody at pervert's night recognized me from the tape. Even my date

had to watch part of the tape again to believe me when I told him.

So what? So I learned a lesson. Sure it was a dangerous lesson

with the possibility of disease and death, but it's not like there's much I

can do about it. Sure I'm uncomfortable with the thought that every guy

in ### will be watching me get fucked by the whole frat house, but I

think I'll call more attention to myself trying to stop it than by keeping

my mouth shut. After all, all those people in the same room didn't

recognize me.

Take action? Oh please! There's no evidence of force on the

tape and no evidence I didn't consent before passing out. And I find out

about it at pervert's night? Tell me that wouldn't be a circus. Defense:

Pervert's night? Could you describe what goes on?

Me: We watched that horrid film of those boys raping me. Defense: and

then the night ended? Me: No. We had a theme party. Defense: And

how do you have a theme party called Pervert's night? Me: Well, it's not

like it sounds. That's sort of a joke. Defense: Well then, would you

describe what goes on? You watched a film of a woman having

repeated sex with a large number of boys and then.... Me: It's like skits

lampooning certain sexual eccentricities. Defense: All right, ######, let

me read this account from a witness and you tell me if it is accurate.

Defense reads: After the tape got us loosened up a little, we

started acting like perverts. You know, peeking up the girls' dresses and

down their tops, flashing them. Some of the guys have these tubes in

their pants so they can act like they're pissing on their dates- gets 'em

all wet and makes their clothes transparent. There were people, men

and women, dressed up like animals. The hit was one girl dressed like a

six-year-old- with a lollypop and all. One of the guys was dressed like

an old man and he told her he had a lollypop that tasted real good, and

got her to lick his dick.

Question: She was actually having sex?

Well if you call licking a guy's dick sex, sure. I think the guy

dressed like a horse was actually fucking his date too, but it was kind

of hard to tell. It happens. Mostly it's exhibitionism and games, but it's

not like you can't get down to it if the feeling takes you.

Defense: Is that an accurate depiction of the things going on?

Me: yes.... Defense: And what part were you playing that night?

(objection:-overruled, answer the question) Me: I was a baby. Defense:

Go on. How does that relate to the theme? Me: Some people, I've

heard, like to be treated like a baby- have their diaper changed and like

that. Defense: Describe your costume, please. Me: I had on a baby

bonnet and a diaper. Defense: And your breasts were exposed? Me:

yes. Defense: And did you have your diaper changed? Me: yes.

Defense: So we are to understand that you were completely unclothed

in this room full of people for a period of time? Me: I had on the

bonnet. Defense: Oh yes, we must not forget that. So you were totally

naked in front of this room full of people for how long? Me: maybe

two minutes. Defense: Two minutes? Isn't that a long time to change a

diaper- even considering that exposing yourself was one of the

purposes of this charade? Me: He didn't change me right away.

Defense: What was he doing for these two minutes? Me: He spanked

me. Defense: Is that a -excuse the phrase- normal part of this baby

perversion? Me: I don't know. It was just part of the way we planned it.

Defense: I see, so please describe those two minutes you were exposed

to the roomfull of people. Me: He announced that I needed changing

and had me stand in front of him. Defense: Facing him or facing the

room? Me: Facing the room. Then he took off my diaper... Defense:

Leaving you frontally naked for all to see? Me: yes. Then I reached

back for the OHenry bar and pulled it out. Defense: Were you handed

the candy bar? Me: No. I had been holding it between my buttocks.

And then I ate it. Defense: This was to simulate eating you own feces

as a child might? Me: yes. Then I was turned to show the chocolate

stains and he pulled me over his knee. Defense: That was when he

spanked you? Me: yes. Defense: Then he replaced the diaper to

complete the...skit I think you called it? Me: After he licked the

chocolate off my butt- yes.

I'm sure that would go over good with a jury. I mean I think it

would give the guys on the jury a hardon, but I don't think anyone

would be convicted of rape.

(lick off the chocolate?--yechh!)

Angie S. - Hello, my name is Angie and I'm a girl. I haven't

been raped for six months. (applause) I used to ask for it. I wore

clothes that could be taken off or even ripped. I went out. I was female.

What did I expect? How can I say I wasn't expecting the attention?

Come on- being female in public and dressing so you could tell I was

female?

I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand the deep

psychological need I had to be raped. I wasn't a virgin, you know. Now

I know having sex is like asking for sex and being in a place where you

can be raped is asking for it. I mean, wasn't it just a little convenient

that I decided to walk on a city street when I knew there might be a

man on it? And being dressed in a skimpy bra, panties, pantyhose, skirt,

blouse, blazer and overcoat-couldn't I tell I was advertising?

But with the help of the 12-rape program I'm getting better. I

understand it was my fault for having a place men could stick their

organs. I understand I erred by being the same sex as their mother. And

I made myself available. Even a locked door is just a form of teasing

and I went outside! But I'm making changes. I've apologized to the men

I've tempted and with the help of the Higher Power I'll never make

another man be forced into the tough decision to rape or not rape

because he has noticed I am female.

(It's good to seek help)

Kelli K - I'm pretty sure I was raped. It felt like I'd been raped

by a truck when I came to. And the hospital said, judging from the

semen and the bleeding from my vagina and the semen and the bleeding

from my rectum, that they were pretty sure I was raped.

I don't remember because the last thing I knew I got this real big

pain in my head and dropped down toward the ground. I recovered

consciousness later- quite a bit later, I'm told, laying on my face with

my naked butt in the air. I didn't know what to grab first. My head felt

like it had been cracked open and my poor...bottom parts... felt like

they'd been put in a drill press. Then came the cops and the hospital and

all that stuff.

But I'm not sure the guy didn't do me a favor. Not a big one,

mind you, but I traded the wonderful, wholesome feeling of being

raped repeatedly by a brutal man for the forgetfulness of a concussion.

I figure either way I get up ravaged and sore and go through the rest of

the crap.

(How sad to be alone)

Felice R. - Raped? Have I been raped? I live in Rape Central

and I AM the Rape Crisis Hotline.

I've been raped four times in the last two months. I've been

raped twelve times this year and it's only July. And now you think I live

in some ghetto in a ratty old firetrap. Well, I live in an upper middle

class suburb in the third most expensive house on the block. It hasn't

stopped them from pushing their way in and having their way with me.

I think the servicemen have some sort of grapevine. Because,

except for Bill from up the street, the rapists have been plumbers or

phone men or construction workers or landscapers and men like that.

I've given up fighting them. I always end up hurting myself

more than them. I do tell them firmly in a serious voice that they

shouldn't, that I don't want it, I don't want them and it is with no consent

of mine, therefore they are rapists.

That made one guy think for a minute, but he pushed me across

the counter and assaulted me from behind anyway. I guess my record

does make me a little vulnerable. After the first two or three get away

with it, they all feel safe. I know it's bad, but I can't do anything about

it. After the first one, I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone what had

happened. I didn't even think about the police. After the second, I

figured I had the odds really beat now and could breathe easy. After the

third I was ready to do something. But what about only complaining

after the third guy? If it was my practice to allow it sometimes, how

was this poor boy to know I meant it this time?

Maybe it was bad thinking, but the real wrong came the first

time I didn't report it. By this time I know it's pointless to make a

complaint, just like it's pointless to struggle. I crossed that line in May

when Bill from up the street just walked into my garden, picked me up

and carried me into the house and then threw me down on the bed in the

downstairs bedroom.

"Hi Felice," he said, "Hear you like to play some kind of rape

game. I'm here to play. Now lets get those clothes off."

He got me totally naked and made me sit, stand and lay in dirty

poses. Then he did it to me right in the downstairs bedroom. He asked

me to suck his thing and I said, no. Instead of grabbing my head and

making me do it like all the rest, he let me slide. But he said he'd be

back.

After that, I knew I couldn't turn in anybody. Even when Bill

came back last month and made me have anal sex with him. I guess I'm

a target and there's nothing I can do about that.

{Glad to see you're coping)

Ginny L. - I guess I didn't think I had a case until the next

morning. When I went to bed, I looked pretty normal. Now I wish I had

called the cops on Jerry.

It wasn't your classic, hold 'em down and make 'em take it,

rape. Jerry calmly told me we were going to have sex. 'In your dreams,'

I said and he wasn't laughing. He simply slapped me. I didn't see his

hand move. I couldn't duck. I was standing there and the next thing I

knew- SPLAT!- he slapped my head sideways.

"Now take off your clothes," he said.

I just stared dumbly at him, amazed at the hard look in his eyes.

He wasn't amused by my questioning look or the wonder in my eyes.

When I didn't move fast enough to suit him, he slapped me again.

It hurt. It wasn't some light tap, he was hitting me. It was

enough to make my fingers fly to the buttons of my blouse and start

undoing them. I guessed a slowed after taking off the blouse and was

getting pretty pokey when my skirt slid down my legs. I did hesitate

taking off my bra, but he only had to raise his hand to put me back at

top speed.

"Now pull down my pants and suck my dick," he told me when

I was standing naked in front of him.

I wasn't refusing. The command just wasn't making sense to me.

Jerry didn't care. He slapped me again, knocking me off-balance and

then grabbed my hair and pulled me to my knees at his feet. I opened

his pants and pushed them down and took his cock in my mouth.

"Look up at me," he ordered, and I rolled my face up to look

into his eyes.

He was standing with his hands loose at his sides like a

gunfighter with this smirk on his face as he watched his cock go in and

out of my mouth. I could tell he was enjoying it even before my

sucking started to make his cock get hard.

I don't remember crying, but I could feel hot tears rolling down

my cheeks as his hard cock prodded the back of my throat.

"Take it deeper. Take it all," he ordered and I tried.

He wasn't impressed with my efforts, or he wanted another

excuse to abuse me. I thought I was taking it all. My nose was hitting

his belly as his cock gagged its way into my throat. He let me try a

couple of moments and then grabbed the back of my head and forced

me harder onto him. I wanted to throw up, but his cock was in the way.

"You're just no damn good!" he insulted and pushed me away

from him with enough force to topple me backwards onto the floor.

"I don't even know if I want to fuck you now," he said, "Stand

up."

I clambered to my feet and stood in front of him. I was scared

now and it must have shown as I stood cowering, awaiting his next

instruction. I wanted to back away out of reach, but somehow I knew

that would set him off and I didn't want to be slapped again.

"You want me to fuck you, though, don't you?" he asked.

When I didn't say anything my face burst into fire again as his

hand struck my face.

"You want me to fuck you, don't you," he said again, nodding

his head.

"yes," I peeped, nodding ever so slightly.

"Then ask for it," he ordered, "Ask me to fuck you. Tell me

how much you want it."

"Ppp... plea.. please fuck me," I stammered, beginning to

tremble with terror.

"You better make me want to fuck you," he threatened and I

had a violent tremor pass through my body.

"Yes, fuck me," I begged in terror, "I want you to fuck me.

Please do it to me. Fuck me now. Please, please, please..."

"Not good enough," he judged, "Tell me why I should fuck

you. Make me want it."

I didn't understand. I guess I just stared dumbly until he slapped

me again.

"Describe it. Tell me what fucking you is like," he instructed,

"Tell me all the dirty things you want to do with me. Tell me how

much I'll like it."

It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't think. I was

too scared. I wasn't in the mood to talk dirty, but I was less in the mood

to be slapped again.

"It's real nice," I stuttered, "I've got a nice pussy. It'll feel real

good to put your big cock inside me."

"Show me," he said, "open it up for me while you talk."

I reached down and spread my lips for him. Somehow touching

myself made the words flow smoother.

"She how soft it is? It will rub your cock so nice," I told him,

"It's hot in there and it will be so tight on your big dick."

"Tell me what you want to do," he growled with growing

impatience.

"I want my pussy to swallow your big dick," I said, "I want you

to put it in me and let me suck your dick with my pussy."

He looked at me as if to say:' and...' and I stumbled on trying to

find the thing he wanted to hear.

"I want to come on your your dick," I said, "I want you to fuck

me good. I want it hard and fast and for a long time."

I was on the verge of tears as he looked at me in disgust. I was

sure he was going to hit me for not knowing what to say. I really did

want him to rape me and get it over with.

"And is that all you want to give me?" he prompted, "Is your

pussy enough?"

I mistook his meaning and began to blather, "No, your big dick

is much too big for my tiny pussy, I'll get split wide open, but I want

it!"

"Turn around," he said sounding tired, "now tell me what you've

got."

I knew what he wanted then. The thought chilled me so cold my

teeth began to chatter. I could hardly form the words I knew he wanted

me to say.

"Yes, yes, be the only man ever back there," I said, "Open me

up. I want you to have it all. Fuck my pussy and fuck my--rear."

"Fuck your what?" he baited me, sensing the word caught in my

throat.

"Fuck my ASSHOLE!" I said, just wanting him to finish and go

away.

If only it had been that easy. My perception was the rape would

be somehow better than the humiliation of flaunting myself unwillingly

and saying those nasty lies. In truth it was worse. I felt bad and was

embarrassed as he controlled me, but when he shoved his cock in me it

hurt. Before was only an emotional thing, his savage thrusting was a

real, physical pain. And he continued the humiliation by using me like a

dog on the floor.

I have no words to describe the torment when he pulled his

organ out of me and pushed it against my anus. I really was an anal

virgin. I didn't know what to do. And he kept denigrating me the whole

time.

"You'll want this again when I'm through," he laughed as he

pushed at my anus.

"Damn it, open up," he growled as his first attempt was

rebuffed.

He smacked me on the butt- hard. He pushed again and

smacked my other cheek. Unfortunately, that was working and he kept

spanking me as he rammed more and more of his cock into my rectum.

"I see you like it rough. Well, I got plenty of rough for you," he

gloated as he pummeled my buttocks and skewered me, "I'll give it to

you the way you like it."

He would have had to kill me if he wanted me to beg while he

ramming that thing in my rear. I was too busy sobbing and moaning as

he buggered me. It was horrid and excruciating and only topped by him

pulling me up and ordering me to suck off the dick that had just been in

my ass.

He had to slap me again to make me because it was the most

disgusting thing I could imagine. But I did it and he left.

When I went to bed I looked like I had been crying, but not

much else. I didn't think I would convince anyone I had been forced. It

would be his word against mine and I would have to repeat the things I

said and what I did in court.

When I got up, my face was a mess. My eyes were black and

my face was swollen and puffy red. It was obvious I had been beaten

then. But I think it was too late.

(Let's hope the experience opened up things for you)

Ann L. - We all have heard of date rape by now. You say no

and he doesn't take no for an answer. Well, I said yes and he took that

as an open invitation for anything that came to his mind.

He tied me up and used me in every way you can use a woman.

And then there was the lack of privacy. He stopped raping me three

times to answer the door and each time he brought his friend in to take

a look at the girl he had tied to his bed.

The narrow little legal issue here is that I wasn't really objecting

to having sex with the guy. I didn't tell him: Stop, stop, let me up, I

don't want to have sex with you. I was saying things like: I don't like

that, hey, that's the wrong hole, get that guy out of here, Ouch!

The cops tell me that's a lot different from telling him to stop

and if I didn't tell him to stop, it certainly wasn't rape. I suggested that

he try it and see what he called it, but that really didn't help anything.

All I know is that guy fucked up. I would have fucked him again if he

hadn't gone all freaky on me. Now there's no way. I just hope what he

got is worth as much to him as what he could have had.

(but how do you feel?)

Missy P. - If you use this, you're asking for trouble. I know how

unpopular my point of view is. But I think my voice is a valid as any

one's, popular or not.

I loved my rape. It was a positive turning point in my life. It

crystallized just about all my issues into one metaphor. And I used it to

turn the corner to the self-actualized person I have become.

He was a man I knew slightly. We had been at the same

functions a few times and we had talked. I don't recall him ever asking

me out on a date, and I know we never dated. He was just someone I

knew, but someone I knew well enough for him to get inside my

apartment before I decided whether or not I wished to react.

I wasn't thinking danger. I was just thinking odd. I started

thinking danger when he started making obscene suggestions. He told

me he knew I wanted it and described graphically what kinds of

perverted (and normal) sex we could have right then because we

wanted it.

He was alone in his wanting, but he was also strong. He pushed

me down and proceeded to go about his business despite my struggles

to stop him. Every effort I made, he turned to his advantage,

succeeding in raping me twice while he held me helpless.

It was then it seemed to dawn on me like sunlight breaking

through the clouds- rape and woman's place- the triumph of beauty over

substance- all those instances of appearing to be sexually interested as

some unspoken currency to pay a woman's way in the world. This was

my life. In some sense I had been always held down and raped-

helplessly subjugated by the sex drives of men. I exploded in rage.

The police had me checked and all the evidence supported my

statement that he raped me. I was hysterical enough when they got to

my apartment to suggest temporary insanity. So the prosecutor

questioned me again and decided that I had acted in self-defense and I

hadn't realized how bad I had hurt him before I hit him the other sixteen

times with the brass lamp.

Now I don't say I enjoyed the rape. I am just happy that I came

to the crux and I don't think I could have without the rape happening. It

was a bad thing with a good end. For all the positive impact it has had,

I have to say I loved my rape.

(floor lamp or table lamp?)