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OddManOut.Mowing the Lawn Part 1



Disclaimer: Don˙ffff92t read this if you˙ffff92ve got a lot of work to

do. You˙ffff92ll just end up doing it all later, with less time to

spend.

Mowing the Lawn

1/2

by

OddManOut

I have always hated grooming my yard. It˙ffff92s what sets me apart

from everyone else in my neighborhood. I tell them it˙ffff92s because I

want a "natural" look, but the real reason is that I just don˙ffff92t

see the point. Why should I shell out a few hundred bucks for a machine

that will chop off my toes, annoy my neighbors, and spew more toxic

fumes into the air than the tailpipe of a car?

Of course, I couldn˙ffff92t hold out forever with this mentality. I may

not have cared about the yard, or the general neighborhood disapproval,

but Sheila did, and I ended up getting a lawnmower. Not an expensive

one: That was my rebellion. I got an old bargain machine at a yard

sale for 40 bucks. Sheila laughed when she saw it, and asked if I was

still concerned about safety, noise, and pollution. No matter. I had

bought this thing so that I could make it fail.

And fail it did. The first time I mowed the lawn, the engine conked out

three times from being shoved through the tall grass. Thereafter, I

always made it a point to wait until the grass was tall before mowing

again, so as to put more of a strain on the engine. I also got the idea

of intentionally running over sticks and small stones, but this idea was

reconsidered when a small piece of wood got spewed out of the motor onto

my shin, making a gash three inches long and plenty deep. And when I

got the bandage on, Sheila still made me go out and finish the lawn.

I didn˙ffff92t have to wait long for my plan to take effect. Barely a

month after its purchase, the lawnmower died for good. I was shoving it

through a large thatch of grass when it suddenly lost power and began to

spew out plumes of oily blue smoke. I shut it off and put it back in

the garage, then went in the house and told Sheila that it had broken.

>From then on, whenever Sheila would remind me that the lawn needed

mowing, I would be able to say, "I can˙ffff92t, honey, the

lawnmower˙ffff92s still broken." Then I would go back to reading the

paper, or watching the game, or just unwinding on the porch. Sheila

would remind me that the mower had been broken for XXXXX days, and that

we would need to get it fixed, and I would say either 1.) "Honey,

I˙ffff92m too busy this weekend to take it in to the shop," 2.) "Honey,

it˙ffff92s probably going to cost a lot to fix, and we don˙ffff92t have

the money for that right now," or 3.) "Honey, I called the shop. They

said I can˙ffff92t bring it in this weekend, because they˙ffff92re too

busy right now."

My plan was brilliant, except for one factor I hadn˙ffff92t foreseen:

Two weeks after our mower broke, Sheila got the idea of asking one of

our neighbors, the Fredericks, to lend us their machine. By this time,

our grass was a good four inches high, and they were glad to be of

assistance, just to see our yard assimilated back to the two-inch

neighborhood standard. Once again, I trudged over the yard, pushing the

damn mower, and missing the first quarter of the Niners game. At least

our neighbors˙ffff92 mower had a bag, so I didn˙ffff92t have to rake

clippings.

I suppose I could have gotten around the problem by breaking this mower

as well, but my conscience kept me from destroying the property of

others in pursuit of my own laziness. So I treated it nicely and pushed

it back to driveway outside the Fredericks˙ffff92 house.

When I rang the bell, the door was answered by Katie, our

neighbors˙ffff92 daughter. Katie was seventeen year old junior in high

school. She was on the track team, and the Fredericks had invited

Sheila and I to come watch her meets many times. She was a very fast

runner. Today she was dressed in baggy sweatpants and a big old

T-shirt, but I had seen her run enough times to know that the pants hid

a fantastic pair of strong, tan legs, and that the breasts beneath the

shirt were both large and firm. Judging from the way I could see them

move, I guessed that Katie wasn˙ffff92t wearing a bra this morning.

"Hi, Mr. Grabel!" She said, leaning against the doorframe. "Are you

here to return the mower?"

"Yes," I answered, somewhat out of breath. The worst thing about

mowing my yard is that since I don˙ffff92t do it very often, the tall

grass makes pushing the lawnmower that much harder. It˙ffff92s a

vicious circle, really.

Katie saw my worn-out state and said "You look exhausted. Do you want

some lemonade?" I agreed readily, and she let me into the house. I

stood in the foyer, afraid to move lest I drip sweat on anything, but

Katie beckoned me to follow her into the kitchen in the back of the

house. When I came into the kitchen, I found a chair that didn˙ffff92t

look too fancy and sat down as she poured me a large glass of lemonade.

I accepted the drink gratefully, and took a long sip as she put the jug

back in the fridge. I admired her butt through the sweatpants as she

bent over to put away the lemonade. I knew I shouldn˙ffff92t have

looked, but how could anyone not look at a butt as fine as hers? I was

able to pull my eyes away by the time she stood up and closed the door.

"Thanks for the drink." I said. "When you get as old as me, doing

these types of things can really get you exhausted." Katie laughed when

she heard this. "I can˙ffff92t believe that, Mr. Grabel. How old are

you, 28?" "36," I replied, "but thanks. And call me Brad. Calling me

Mr. Grabel makes me feel even older."

"OK." She said, cocking her head to the side a little. "It˙ffff92s not

so bad to seem older, Mr. G˙ffff97I mean Brad. I don˙ffff92t see any

problem with that at all." I was a little confused. What did she mean

by that? "Well, maybe you don˙ffff92t have any problem with it, but I

do. There˙ffff92s a lot of things that I could do in high school that I

can˙ffff92t do anymore."

"Like what?" She said.

"Well˙ffff85" I started, but stopped for a second to think. I *did*

have some examples, but most of them were things you weren˙ffff92t

supposed to talk about with your neighbor˙ffff92s teenage daughter.

"Well, I was able to mow the lawn and not get this tired. And my lawn

back then was bigger than my lawn now."

Katie was not impressed. "So? Maybe you just need to do it more often.

I mow our lawn every week. It keeps me in shape. See?" She pulled up

the bottom of her T-shirt and invited me to look at her midriff. I did.

It was very flat, and very tan. I could see a slight tan line just

above where her sweatpants met her waist.

"That˙ffff92s true," I said, "but you also do some running, so you have

an excuse to stay in shape. Why should I stay in shape? I˙ffff92m

supposed to be settled down now." Katie looked at my body appraisingly.

"Mrs. Grabel doesn˙ffff92t mind if you˙ffff92re out of shape?"

That stuck. "Of course she doesn˙ffff92t!" I said it a little too

quickly. Sheila *had* been inviting me to come to the gym with her

lately, but if mowing the lawn was pointless, then paying $20 a month to

walk on a treadmill is just stupid. I knew Sheila was going to win on

that one anyway: Ever since she had started working out again, she had

become more active in bed. I would have to start going with her just so

I could keep up with her afterwards.

Katie shrugged her shoulders. "If I was married to a guy, I˙ffff92d

make sure that we were always fit. I hate guys that are out of shape.

They get so out of breath. Oh, sorry Mr.-- Oops, I mean, sorry Brad."

"None taken." I said, lying just a little bit. "Do you make sure your

boyfriend doesn˙ffff92t stay in shape?" I assumed he would be just as

much as a jock as she was. But instead of answering me, she looked away

slightly, and shook her head. "I don˙ffff92t have a boyfriend."

This confused me. "Why not? You˙ffff92re gorgeous. Any guy would want

you." I was definitely on the wrong track, because as soon as the words

were out of my mouth, tears welled up in her eyes and she ran out of the

kitchen. I followed her, instantly sorry of whatever I had done. Katie

was a genuinely nice girl, and I didn˙ffff92t want to just leave her

with her feelings hurt.

I looked around the house for her, and stopped by the closed door to her

room. Listening closely, I could hear the faint sounds of crying coming

from within. I knocked gently.

"Katie?" I called. The crying stopped for a second, and I could hear a

couple of sniffs, but she didn˙ffff92t answer. "Katie? Is it all right

if I come in?" There was still no answer from inside the room. I

didn˙ffff92t want to burst in on her, but I didn˙ffff92t want to just

leave her in her condition, either. "Katie," I said, "I˙ffff92m going

to come in now, and just tell me to go away if you don˙ffff92t want

that." I gave her a good five seconds to reply, then I gently opened

the door.

Katie was slouched on the bed, looking away from me. She gave a loud

sniffle as I walked towards her. "Katie," I said, "why don˙ffff92t you

tell me what˙ffff92s going on? I didn˙ffff92t mean to hurt your

feelings."

"It˙ffff92s not your fault, Mr. Grabel," she said to the wall,

"it˙ffff92s just that there aren˙ffff92t any boys that want me." I was

dumbfounded. Katie was gorgeous, with long legs and arms and a long

thing face that still managed to be cute. She still had the awkwardness

of a seventeen year-old, but she was a lot better looking than any girl

I remembered going to school with. I decided I needed to impress upon

her how pretty she was.

"Katie, I just don˙ffff92t see how that could be true. You˙ffff92re

young, you˙ffff92re in great shape, you˙ffff92ve got a great

body˙ffff97"

"What˙ffff92s so great about my body?" She asked softly. Uh oh. I

stammered for a few seconds before I decided that it was best to be

honest with her.

"Well, Katie, you˙ffff92ve got great legs. You˙ffff92re a runner, so

that˙ffff92s just natural. All runners have great legs. But your upper

body is really nice too. You˙ffff92ve got a nice tan, and your arms

look like they˙ffff92re really strong˙ffff85" I held out my hand

towards her upper arm, "May I?" Katie allowed me to test her biceps,

and I continued as I stroked and massaged her arm. "You˙ffff92ve got a

really strong arms, Katie, and that˙ffff92s really attractive, you

know."

She shook her head and shifted her gaze from the wall on the other side

of her to the window in front of her. "Boys don˙ffff92t like that. All

the boys on track are going out with soft girls."

"That can˙ffff92t be true. None of your girlfriends on track have

boyfriends that work out?" She stopped and thought for a second. "OK,

so some of the guys like track girls, but they˙ffff92ve already got

girlfriends. The rest of them don˙ffff92t like girls like me."

"Well, what about other boys?" I countered. I had moved down her arm,

and was now massaging her hand in my own. She gave my hand a little

squeeze and said, "I don˙ffff92t know any other boys."

"Sure you do," I countered, "What about boys in your classes?

Aren˙ffff92t there any that seem interesting?" Done with massaging her

hand, I gently tried to pull my hand away, but she held me fast and

shook her head, looking at the floor. "They˙ffff92re all jerks. They

never talk to me."

I pulled my hand from her grasp and began to rub her shoulder.

"That˙ffff92s because they˙ffff92re afraid of you, Katie." She looked

at me in terror. "They are?" "No! No! I didn˙ffff92t mean it that

way. I mean they˙ffff92re afraid to talk to you. They all think

you˙ffff92re too pretty, and aren˙ffff92t interested in them." "How do

you know that, Mr. Grabel?" She stared at the floor.

I paused a second, hesitant to proceed, then said, "Because that˙ffff92s

the way I was in high school, and I know I would have been terrified to

talk to you." "Why?" "Because you˙ffff92re gorgeous! If you ignored

me, I would have been crushed. It was a lot easier to talk about how

cool it *would* be to talk to you with my friends."

Katie smiled slightly, a definite plus. "Do you really think I˙ffff92m

pretty, Mr. Grabel?"

"Yes," I said, "and call me Brad." "Thank you, Brad." She said, and

leaned over to give me a kiss. It was a very chaste kiss, just a quick

smack on my lips, but I was very quickly becoming hard. I felt it was

time to leave and began to get up, but Katie grabbed my arm. "Could you

stay with me a little while longer, Brad? I really like talking to

you." If only she knew how much I liked talking with her. Her grip on

my arm was light and warm, but it was also firm, and I sat back down,

slouching a little bit to hide the growing bulge in my pants.

"Brad," she said, "if boys are so afraid of me, then how can I get them

to talk to me?" I thought for a second. "How about going up and

talking to one of them? You know? Just pick out a guy you think is

really cute, or really nice, and go up and talk to him about something."

"Like what?" "I don˙ffff92t know, like classes. You can talk to him

about classes, can˙ffff92t you? And just go from there. And if

you˙ffff92re really daring, you can ask him out."

"No way!" Katie giggled, making her breasts quiver. "I can˙ffff92t do

that!" "Sure you can," I said. My erection was now beginning to cause

problems. "It˙ffff92s just like when you kissed me a minute ago. Just

do it."

"Okay." Katie said, and she leaned forward and kissed me on the mouth

again. I had meant that she should just ask the boy out, but I

didn˙ffff92t mind the way she interpreted me. This kiss was longer and

slightly harder, and I could taste her lips as they met mine. Katie

drew back and looked at me with an odd expression on her face.

"Brad?" "Yes, Katie?" "Do I kiss okay?" Now I was in deep water.

"Yes, I think so. It was a little intimate for a friendly kiss, but it

was very nice." She pouted a little. "I know how to give friendly

kisses. Could˙ffff97" she stopped, and let the silence hang in the

air. "Yes, Katie?" I prompted her.

In a small voice, she said, "Could you show me how to make out?" I

should have left the room right then, but I couldn˙ffff92t. Katie was

staring at me, her eyes wide, and it looked like she was about to break

down and cry if I said anything other than "yes."

"Yes," I said. "What would you like to know?"

"Well," Katie bit her lower lip. "How do you kiss when you make out?

I made out with a boy once, and he said I kissed funny."

I thought about that. "Well, what did you do, Katie?" "Here,

I˙ffff92ll show you." She leaned towards me, puckered her lips, and

placed them right on mine. And held them there. I tried moving my lips

around to return the kiss, but she held her position. I gently pulled

my head away.

"Well, Katie, I think one thing is that you need to relax your lips

more. Just a little bit. Keep them thrust out, but the lips themselves

soft. Here, feel my lips." I puckered, and Katie lifted a finger to my

mouth. I kept the outside very soft, and slightly moist. When she

pushed, her finger was able to slide into my mouth slightly. Before I

realized what I was doing, I applied some suction, and drew her finger

in even more, licking it softly with my tongue. Katie smiled a bit, and

drew her finger out. Then she tried pursing her lips like I had, and

leaned in for the kiss.

I could smell her shampoo, and a little bit of her sweat. I figured

that she must have worked out earlier today. Our lips were much softer

against each other now, and much more sensitive. I sucked in a little,

and she sucked back, sealing the bond between us. We held that position

for a while, then I tried to snake my tongue into her mouth. Katie

jerked back with a giggle, and looked at me like I was crazy.

"You didn˙ffff92t like that?" I said. She didn˙ffff92t say anything,

but kept looking at me, noticing that my now-huge erection was causing a

very visible bulge in my shorts. Then she leaned back in and kissed me

again. This time we both opened our mouths, and her tongue met and slid

over mine as we sucked ourselves together. She placed her hand on my

leg lightly as we kissed and began to run her nails over my thigh. I

gave a desperate thought of Sheila, but it evaporated as I slid my hand

from her back to her right breast.

I squeezed her through her shirt, feeling the double-smoothness of shirt

and skin fall away from my fingers. Katie froze when I did this, and

looked me in the eye. She didn˙ffff92t tell me to stop. I trailed my

hand down her T-shirt to her waist, then put my hand under the shirt and

rested it on her stomach.

"Usually, when you make out with a boy, he will try to go as far as he

can with you," I whispered in her ear. "For instance, just now you let

me feel your breast through your shirt, but I want to feel the bare

skin." Katie˙ffff92s breath quickened as I slid my hand up to the soft

mound and found the nipple. I rolled it in my hand, tweaking it

slightly.

As I played with her breast, her hand became tight against my thigh. I

leaned forward and whispered "You can feel me up too, if you want." As

I moved my mouth back to hers, she slid her hand up my thigh and under

my shorts, until it was inches from my crotch. She stroked my inner

thigh very slowly and deliberately as I continued to play with her

breast. I was exploring the inside of her mouth with my tongue, running

it along the ridges of her teeth gently.

Continued in Part 2...

"It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they

had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared

to be great."

-Havelock Ellis

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