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The Psychology of Arousal

The Psychology of Arousal {Redman}

There's a gaggle of girls, ages 12 to 14, on my lawn;

our daughter in the center of their giggle circle. As a

psychologist I look at them, reviewing all I've learned

of adolescent psych and all I've continued to apply in

my career. I can note their stages of development,

clinically assessing which ones are maturing, which

ones are delayed.

As a father I can say with pride that our daughter is

the best of the brood. More confident, more

intelligent, more generally well adjusted. Not that I

take much credit for myself. She's largely been raised

by her mother and taken most of her good traits from

her X chromosome and not my Y.

But as a man, I look out on this field of virgin soil

and a part of me is aroused. I think about the words

of a female colleague who just yesterday, throwing her

hands up in frustration with our clients, practically

screamed out, "Do all men just want to have sex with

children?"

I didn't volunteer an answer. Thankfully it was

rhetorical. But her question has resonated in my mind

ever since.

I've examined myself and I think that I'm within the

boundaries of normality. I've never exhibited deviant

behavior, but I know that everyone (or perhaps as my

colleague's question begs - every man) has deviant

thoughts on occasion. So I think of all those deep

debates we argued over in graduate school. What is

normal? What is deviance? It's today's equivalent to

the debates of medieval monks. What is holiness? What

is sin?

I have no better revelation than the monks did.

Thankfully the world survived their dreadful dogmas and

will probably survive through mine as well.

My eyes and thoughts return to our modern day vestal

virgins. The man in me sees their firm, slender thighs

and envisions their budding breasts. The psychologist

speculates on which secondary sex characteristics each

one would have: pubic hair, changes in body odor and

the natural increase in libido.

The father in me can't escape the thought that perhaps

their mothers should be concerned with leaving them in

my presence.

So I raise my hand to my nose, catching the faint,

lingering scent of my wife's arousal. It's her way of

marking my boundaries. Whenever we go into a crowd with

women, she marks my hands. At the end of the day, if

she detects another woman's scent on my fingers...

Well, some things I don't want to consider.

I move into our living room, witnessing the gaggle of

mothers - laughing, sharing conversation. I catch my

wife's eye, noticing anew her lovely form and grace. I

raise my hand to my face, deliberately sniffing my

fingers as she looks at me. She grins; knowing that

something has aroused me. She looks from when I've come

and sees the girls on the lawn. Shaking her head and

laughing silently, she wags her finger at me like I was

her son.