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confessions
This is a work of fantasy. It is not about real people, and if it is, its
not what they would do. (not that you are likely to know them anyway). If
you are under 18, go away, since I don't like to get in trouble. If you
are turned off by perversion, what are you doing at asstr? In other words,
go away. If none of this applies to you, great! Read on! Have fun! Let
me know what you like! Oh, and I work hard on my writing…so guess what?
Its mine. That's right and girls…its copyrighted…so if you want it?
Just askJ we'll talk.
Dryad
Dear Nancy, Okay, I'm running out of "good" stationary and envelopes.
So sue me. Or run off to Canada with me. Either way, I love you. You
know that, but I'll tell you again anyway. I LOVE YOU."
The letter goes on, but she folds it closed. Her shoulders shudder
slightly, breath hard to pull into her lungs. What a mess I've gotten
myself into she thinks. The rest of the letter falls into her lap.
Nancy gazes out through the window. A nice house, nice yard. She hears
her children playing outside on the swing. Daniel will be home soon.
After being for 9 years, she still loves him. But something stirs
in her. I'm more than the sum of my parts! She cries out internally,
though her face still holds the stoic, patient look it always does. She
leans back in the kitchen chair and closes her eyes.
She met Ethan quite by accident. Friends goaded her into visiting a
chat online. It was innocent fun, visiting with these people. Until
Ethan. Ethan was- IS her soul mate. Never has anyone been so intuitive of
her needs, any of them, and unstintly cherished and took care of them. But
this was after Daniel.
So as any good wife, she fought it. God, did she fight. Her mantra
became, he's just a friend, he's just a friend. But friends don't talk of
kissing like that. Or touching. His words became virtual caresses,
touching her deep in her soul, until she no longer needed physical presence
to make her harder than she ever had. But she kept making excuses in
her mind. He's so far away…its just harmless fantasy. But she knew it was
becoming more real than any relationship she had.
Then the phone calls started. Then, suddenly, he was here. He was here
so close he could be touched. And still, she tried to be good, even if it
meant going against her heart. Until the second meeting. Her eyes flutter
at the memory. Caution, certainly, but stolen touches… soft hands on
smooth skin… whispered words of love-Kisses that went on forever and then
some, the kind that enlarge your soul until you can no longer be concerned
about anything but that moment in time…and certainly it seems longer than
that. Even now, she can feel the tease of his tongue, the tenderness and
depth of the love within that simple kiss.
She didn't mean for this. She wars with herself. If things had been
different, she would be with Ethan. No question. But things are as they
are. And responsibilities and yes, love, are what she has. But there are
so many different ways to love, and yes, even love romantically. Anyone
who says you can't love more than one person is either stingy, or
close-minded. But she believes in promises. And lets face it, marriage is
just one big promise. And she wars, why couldn't I have waited? Or, why
can't I let him go? Or wondering if all her ideals are for nought, and
she's a fool for not grasping the brass ring.
She reads the end of the letter… "I can't do something temporary and
meaningless. I'm too shy with strangers (yes, I am!) to do that. But
anyway- I will always be yours. The deepest corners of my heart, where
secrets are even from me, will always find your name carved on their
walls. Your mark is on my soul, and the mark will never disappear."
Copyright Dryad (gbbjg@yahoo.com) 2001