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top15 mar2002

Tainted Lime Top 15 List for March 2002

With a week off for spring break, this month's top 15 is based

on a few fewer stories than before, but that doesn't mean the

stories are of any worse than in previous months. In fact, I

think March boasts the best stories posted so far this year.

The month started out with a bang, and I was sure the number one

story would come down between theGreatxIam's "The Key to the

Whole Thing" and Selena Jardine's "Curtains." Little did I know

what was to come! Excellent stories by Nicholas Urfe and Bradley

Stoke complicated the choice, and Selena Jardine pitched in with

another winner in "Home Safe."

When the smoke cleared, "Home Safe" edged out the other stories,

mainly because it struck a personal note. But if you want to find

a good story, pick any on this list. Or better yet, pick them all.

---

Top 15 stories for March 2002

1. Home Safe, by Selena Jardine

2. The Key to the Whole Thing, by theGreatxIam

3. Curtains, by Selena Jardine

4. giggling, by Nicholas Urfe

5. creamfields, by Bradley Stoke

6. The Dream Lover, by Katherine T.

7. Big Wheel, by theGreatxIam

8. Caught, by Oosh

9. AFTER THE PARTY, by Rogue Writer

10. An Aphrodite Rising, by Sam Cornell

11. Invisible, by ossified

12. Empty Street, by Elliot Mabeuse

13. Calendar, by Mat Twassel and Lorrin Murray

14. Vanessa and Me, Part One, by Shon Richards

15. The Tally, by Bradley Stoke

Do you disagree with my list? Make your voice heard. Nominate

your favorite stories of the month for a Silver Clitoride Award

at http://www.asstr.org/~gary/Clitorides/Silver_Clitorides.htm.

---

{ASSM} Home Safe

By Selena Jardine <selenajardine@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35763

I have friends who tried for two years to have a baby. They went

to the doctors, they charted, they took temperatures, they ran

tests. Nothing worked. Having a baby just didn't seem to be in

the cards.

Now I wasn't privy to my friends' private conversations. I don't

know for sure if there were accusations, fights, or depression.

But after reading this story, I think I have better insight into

what my friends went through during those two years, and it's

enough to break my heart. This story shows a very difficult and

private part of a couple's life.

The story is told with an interesting style. Run-on sentences are

used to give it a thoughtful feel. Told in first person from the

husband's point of view, it's a wonderful study of hurt and

frustration.

And in case you're worried about the story being too much of a

downer, fear not! Even in the midst of difficult times, people do

find hot sex and more than a little joy.

Oh, and I almost forgot: it has a perfect ending. (Coincidentally,

my friends' story ends the same way.)

---

{ASSM} Subway series #5: The Key to the Whole Thing (MF, interr)

By theGreatxIam <max_wojtylak@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35497

The guy in "The Key to the Whole Thing" has the stupidest boss in

the world. Even though they are just bureaucrats in the Department

of Agriculture, his boss makes them work farmer's hours. (Get it?

Agriculture equals farmers?) The only good thing about the work

hours is the sparsely populated subways during the morning and

evening commutes.

Normally the drowsy bureaucrat is content to surreptitiously ogle

the handful of pretty girls who share his early morning train.

Stephen King Lady, Red, Cleopatra ... they have that little

something special that make those early Washington D.C. mornings

seem just a little bit more bearable.

And then one day, Cleopatra drops her keys. Our hero leans forward

to pick them up for her, and somehow he ends up with his nose

wedged somewhere it ordinarily wouldn't be.

Apparently, sex on a subway can be very fulfilling. And reading

about sex on a subway, especially if this is the subway sex story
you're reading, can be very fulfilling, too. I can't recommend

this story enough. The sex is outstanding, and the narrator knows

how to spin an entertaining tale even when his dick isn't buried

balls-deep. And the ending ... well, the ending should not be

missed.

TheGreatxIam has already given us a long string of excellent

stories, but this is the best one yet.

---

{ASSM} Curtains

By Selena Jardine <selenajardine@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35540

A man has a life that isn't going so well. He dislikes his job,

he and his wife have a non-existent sex life, and he's 170 pounds

overweight. After a trip to the doctor, he decides he needs to

work on that weight problem, and he begins walking around the

backyard every day.

He makes enough progress where he feels he can walk around the

neighborhood, and there he discovers many of his neighbors do not

draw their curtains at night. Through one window, he spots a

sweet young blonde studying econ, and he is stunned when she

strips off all her clothes and tosses them in the laundry. Some

long dormant urges are reawakened.

There is a lot to like about this story. The sense of realism

will pull you in. The main character changes and finds himself in

a much happier place. The sex is exciting and happy and

celebratory. What more could you ask for?

This is an excellent, almost inspirational story. Be sure to read

it.

---

{ASSM} giggling 1:3 [urfe] [new]

By Nicholas Urfe <nickurfe@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35766

This story is one heck of a ride.

It's all about porn stars shooting a porn movie. Honey Rider, a

veteran of the porn wars, is starring with an assortment of other

augmented body parts while Keystone Cops try to run the camera.

Hanging around inside is Barbie, a young girl whose job is giving

blowjobs to a washed up male porn star.

Barbie and Honey get to know one another between takes, if you

know what I mean.

Like many Nicholas Urfe stories, Giggling is written with a

distinctive style. Many stories with distinctive styles quickly

get old. But this story benefits from a lot of powerful

distractions: the absurdity of the porn people, the attitudes of

the women, and, ultimately, the fatigue of those who are taking

part of this ridiculous business.

This story is on the outer size limits of what I normally read,

but I'm very glad I read it. If you read it, you'll be glad too.

---

{ASSM} {ASSTR} creamfields

By Bradley Stoke <bradley_stoke@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35811

This is the story of the Creamfields festival, which takes place

every summer in the UK, and one particular girl who thumps,

jumps, and pumps to the music as the Ecstasy takes over and the

people she's with become more and more sexually attractive and

they are suddenly naked and dancing and fucking while the

relentless music drives them on and on.

As lime who is a little bit past his prime, I'm more than a

little uninformed about the current music scene. But this story
made it come alive for me. The beat of the music, the feeling of

the drugs, the raging dancers: I was swept away by all of it.

I've been looking out for Bradley Stoke stories for some time

now, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I found one

that caught my fancy. This is the one that did it for me. It'll

do it for you, too.

---

{ASSM} The Dream Lover (FF, lesbian) by Katherine T.

By Katherine T. <kt1960@earthlink.net>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35444

Sandra is a focused and organized university lecturer in medieval

history. Lately she has been having these odd fantasies of making

love outdoors. When the fantasies become too intrusive, she

decides to change focus and make her fantasy a reality.

She gets herself all dolled up to visit a trendy lesbian bar,

where she goes searching for her androgynous dream lover. Before

too long, Jen is buying Sandra a second Cosmo, and they are making

plans to drive out into the country.

I liked the way Sandra attacks her little problem. She's an

interesting character, and she's definitely the most interesting

part of the story. On the downside, the Jen character is nearly

invisible, and the sex is skimmed over and is finished quickly.

While this story is another variation of the Tricky Husband story
(where the main character contrives a plot and carries it out to

perfection), the well-drawn Sandra character makes it far better

than most of its ilk.

---

{ASSM} Big Wheel (MF, celeb) Silver Surfer #4

By theGreatxIam <max_wojtylak@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35755

The celebrity of this Silver Surfer episode is none other than

Tina Turner. The surfer is a limo driver who picks up Ms Turner

during her farewell tour. After a night of club and bar hopping,

the inevitable fight breaks out, which is quickly controlled by

the fast-acting driver.

Unfortunately, Tina is a peace-loving type and doesn't appreciate

him stepping into the confrontation. There is a long, uncomfortable

moment back in the limo.

But hey, this is ASSM. They kiss and make up.

Of course Tina likes to kiss and make up two ways: she likes it

nice and easy, and she likes it nice and rough. My only criticism

of this story comes from the nice and rough part - it's a lot

more nice than it is rough. Oh, the silver surfer *says* it was

pretty danged wild, but when we get to the actual details, it's

simply nice and ..., well, nice and nice.

But that's just a nit-pick. As you would expect from

theGreatxIam, this is an excellent story with a fascinating

subject. And I am astounded that one author can convincingly

write so many stories from the points of view of so many

different people.

---

{ASSM} Caught [Oosh]

By Oosh <Oosh@NOSPAM.gmx.net>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35852

This story begins with an exquisite description of a dress the

narrator sees in a shop window. Then the narrator catches two

women back in the shop, kissing. Catching the two women becomes

the basis for a little self-discovery.

The ending, while stunning in its way, seems separate from the

rest of the story. After all the luxurious detail of the opening

scene, the ending feels relatively un-grounded. And while the

story is about sex and sexuality, the sex is not explicit. If

you're looking for stroke material, you'll want to move on to

something else.

But those are minor nits. This very short story has something

almost everyone will enjoy. Puzzling through the extended

metaphor is a lot of fun, and the opening is as good as any story
you'll read in ASSM. Unless you're a hardcore stroke fan, you

should invest a short amount of time and check this story out.

---

{ASSM} AFTER THE PARTY (F/F, romance, exhibitionist, jewelry, dessert toppings)

By Rogue Writer <roguewriter@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35663

Tanya is a lesbian on the rebound, and she is attending a party

thrown by her friend Mario. There, she meets Mario's new

roommate, Claudia. Mario and Claudia have a platonic

relationship, at least for now.

But it is Claudia's friend Amy who interests Tanya the most. With

just one look, Tanya's sex parts melt. Tanya and Amy manage to

get together alone in Mario's room to smoke a bowl. The two

girls show off their tattoos and piercings to one another, one

thing leads to another, and Amy reveals that she too is gay.

But Amy still has one secret: her friend Claudia doesn't know

about her sexual orientation yet.

There follows a lot of kinky lesbian sex, including anal licking

dessert toppings, and exhibitionism.

This story has several rough stretches, particularly in the

beginning. But if you get past those, you'll find an excellent

story with a good plot and some good characters. It's romantic

without being sappy, and kinky without being disgusting. And, for

the one-handed readers out there, it includes a couple long,

detailed sex scenes.

It also includes one of the best similes I've read since starting

these reviews, but I won't spoil it - you'll have to read it for

yourself.

If you start on this story, don't let the loose writing in the

beginning put you off - if you persevere, you'll find a very good

story.

---

{ASSM} An Aphrodite Rising

By Sam Cornell <cornell525@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35456

Sometimes there is a story that breaks all the rules and gets

away with it. "You" is constantly referred to in this story, but

it is unlike many of the annoying second-person stories you read

in this newsgroup. This story is really internal dialogue. We are

listening to the main character's thoughts as she watches her

lover rise from the sea like Aphrodite. The "you" in this story
is really the woman's lover. The narrator is *not* addressing

the reader, she just uses "you" as the name of the person she is

lusting after. While there are a few lapses, this is much better

than your typical ASSM second-person horror.

Which means this is really not a second-person story, but it is a

stream-of-consciousness story. Which means that instead of the

second-person obstacles to overcome, it has the stream-of-

consciousness obstacles to overcome.

And for the most part, it overcomes them. Sure, her thoughts are

a little too analytical, but the thoughts of this woman are

intelligent and, at times, poetic. I like the way she devours her

Aphrodite's nearly naked body.

As an experiment, this story is a resounding success. And even

as a regular story, it's still pretty darn successful.

---

{ASSM} Invisible {Douglas Ossified} (mf voy 1st)

By ossified <ossified@hushmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35521

A boy used to be best friends with his sister, and then his

sister hits puberty. A thirteen-year-old boy doesn't get much

attention from sixteen-year-old girls, so when Courtney's friends

all come over for a swim in the pool, the narrator becomes nearly

invisible.

He has a big crush on his sister's friend Allison. When Allison

goes swimming and leaves her panties unattended, he sneaks over

and jerks off into them. Allison returns unexpectedly, giving the

boy time to cover up but no time to clean them up. When she

starts to put her panties on, she feels something unexpected. She

wonders what it could be, and when looking around, the formerly

invisible boy suddenly becomes visible.

At the end, there is a song reference that I didn't get, so the

ending left me baffled, but the rest of the story is very good.

Only a few minor typos mar the technically good prose. And I

liked the idea of an invisible boy, and the author pulls off the

sense of being ignored reasonably well.

This is a very good story of a boy's first exposure to sex.

---

{ASSM} {new story} Empty Street (MF, oral, voy, carsex)

By Elliot Mabeuse <dr_mabeuse@yahoo.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35630

We start out buzzing through the air above town, then we drop

into a residential neighborhood, settling finally on a car parked

on the street. We focus even closer on the pair inside the car.

Inside, the girl is getting ready to blow the man.

In the middle of the blowjob, they notice a couple watching them

from one of the homes. Fortunately, the spectators are not

annoyed by the strangers performing sex acts in front of their

house.

This is a good story, with realistic exhibitionist and voyeur

responses. The story shifts tense about half way through, which

is an odd distraction for a story that is otherwise very well-

written. I'm not quite sure what the fancy flying around at the

beginning of the story is for, but at least it is interesting.

For fans of exhibitionism and voyeurism, this is an excellent

story. And even fans of other genres will find something here to

enjoy.

---

{ASSM} Mat Twassel and Lorrin Murray -- Calendar

By Mat Twassel and Lorrin Murray <mmtwassel@aol.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35482

This is the last two weeks of February of the erotic calendar Mat

Twassel and Lorrin Murray have been writing about. Until the last

couple days of February, this edition is similar to the first edition

I reviewed in an earlier issue: several short, artistic, but unrelated

descriptions of random erotic photographs.

And then February 27 comes along. February 27 is not only a follow up

to another day, but it is also much longer and much more detailed

story of what this picture might describe. By itself, it's worth

the price of admission.

---

{ASSM} "Vanessa and Me" Part One (M/F, Exhib, Discovery)

By Shon Richards <shonrichardshsd@earthlink.net>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35676

A man at a mostly deserted art gallery meets a woman. They get in

a discussion about art, painting, writing, and creativity. And

then Vanessa decides she needs to put him through a test. She

positions him behind her and instructs him to put his hand down

the front of her pants. She does this because creativity is

important, which, I suppose, is as good as reason as any.

This is an interesting story. The writing is sometimes awkward,

but the discussion about art, at least, is fun to read. And the

sex scene, while short, is pretty good.

Based on the subject line, this is the first story of a series,

and it reads like a cross between a short story and a single

chapter of a serial. As an introduction to a longer piece, it's

very good, but it doesn't quite work as well as a stand-alone

piece. If you enjoy following on-going serials (something I don't

generally do), definitely check this story out.

---

{ASSM} {ASSTR} The Tally

By Bradley Stoke <bradley_stoke@hotmail.com>

http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35672

Amy is an anal retentive sex worker who keeps a detailed diary of

her sexual statistics. She has bedded more than 3000 men and

women in her ten years, and she takes great pleasure in the

records she has made of each encounter.

And then one day a new woman shows up at the sex club where Amy

works. Lucinda is different. When not on stage, she dresses

plainly. She is aloof. She doesn't do men. All of which makes Amy

crazy with lust. While they fuck aggressively on stage, Lucinda

refuses every advance to get together after work.

Amy becomes obsessed and follows Lucinda after work one day. And

what do you think happens when they finally meet away from the

club? Read the story to find out!

This story contains a mix of excellence and mediocrity. The Amy

character is compelling and artfully drawn. I liked the way Amy's

obsessions with sex and Lucinda are revealed. But there is not

enough action. Most of the story is spent talking about sex

instead of doing sex. Some of the sex, too, is told indirectly.

The ending is also rushed.

But Bradley Stoke is a talented author, and while this story has

some flaws, it was still an enjoyable read.